It's a New Day…

Day 89 Question 89:

Where is your “Heaven on Earth”?

I chose this question today because today has been completely brainless for me.  I have actually spent majority of my day asleep.  This won’t be a long entry because my body and mind just need some rest.  I always have a twinge of guilt for spending an entire day in bed but after working 70 hours this past 5 days and starting my new semester I think it is well deserved.

So, maybe you have guessed, my “Heaven on Earth” is my bed…actually my bedroom.  I have it set up in a way that is so relaxing and it is my escape…my getaway. When I spend time here I am the most comfortable.  I love to travel and visit friends and new places and have new experiences but nothing beats the comfort of home.

I told you I was going to keep this short (and for me this is very short) because I need to continue the brainless process for the day.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I want to thank you for all of the support in writing this blog.  I have seen this personal development that has brought me more happiness than I have ever known.

Where is your “Heaven on Earth”?

Day 88 Question 88:

What personality type are you?

Lately I seemed to hear more and more people use the term “Type A” personality.  I was thinking about it this morning and I really wasn’t sure of what it entailed to have a “Type A” personality so as my usual self,  I did my research.  I was curious to know what my personality was according to these “Type A, B and C” personalities.  I copied and pasted some descriptions below….what kind of personality are you.

So, in my research, the conclusion that I came to is that I am more than anything a “Type B-Socializer” personality.   I know it is being judgmental but I was glad once I started reading about “Type A” that I really didn’t fit into that mold.  My first initial thoughts were people that were/are abrasive and neurotic.  I immediately imagined my extremely aggressive and abrasive landlord.  She is absolutely a “Type A” personality but she is extremely unbalanced.  She is unable to use her “status” for good.  Instead she uses it for evil…hence why in a previous entry I said that “If you don’t believe the devil exists, you would be wrong, because she comes in the form of my landlord.”

Anyhooooooooooooooooo, my personality is definitely that of The Socializer.  As of lately I have kept a little more to myself and become reserved in a sense but when I am in public settings I am very outgoing.  I love to laugh and I absolutely love talking to people….I love finding out what is going on in their lives and hear all of their stories.  I love to make people feel at ease and give them advice when needed or make them laugh and smile because I sense that they could use it.  If you read the description below of the ‘Type B” personality it really does fit me like a glove.  I am drawn to wanting and needing to work in the community and want to be a part of projects in which there is a potential for change…the potential for improvement and flourishing of humanity.  I am packed full of ideas and I am always wanting to share them and get the input of others.  Sometimes I feel like I am busting at the seams when I am feeling passionate about a topic or am involved in a project that I believe could make a very significant difference.  I, of course, can become too chatty and sometimes I don’t always use discretion the way I should when voicing my opinions and thoughts.  It can be a downfall or a character flaw per se.  I admit to having a hard time understanding where some people are coming from and if I am feeling passionate and driven about something I do not always listen as closely as I should to hear them out.  With my awareness though, I am working on it.

“Type B-The Socializer” is absolutely who and how I am but I do have some traits from other personality types as well….I just don’t have the majority of them.  I can be a leader but I can become so anxious about coming off like a “know-it-all” or “Bully” that  I do not always put that extra oooomph in that is needed from a leader.  There is a fine line between managing and micromanaging and I do not want to cross it….there is nothing worse than a micromanager….especially one that is rarely doing their own job up to satisfaction.  There is a huge stigma that goes along with the “Type A” personality and that stigma is one of a personal being impatient and could even be considered mean or rude.  I would never want to be thought of in that manner ever.  I believe there are too many people in management positions that do not need to be in them.  I can’t even begin to count the number of managers that I have had that were on power trips and treated their staff like animals by belittling them or degrading them.  Or the manager that would bark a million orders to her staff and the entire time would be surfing Facebook in her office.  The “Type A” personality does not exactly receive the best reputation.  Out of all of the personalities….this is the one that requires the greatest balancing act.

I had to giggle a little bit when I was reading all of these descriptions because although it was obvious I was a “Type B” personality, there were descriptions in the “Type D-The Distressed” personality that I couldn’t help but imagine myself.  I completely admit that I sometimes get too hung up on routine.  I have 500 different things mapped out in my head for the next month and I must stay ahead on everything.  Sometimes I have a good laugh at myself because I rush things and plan things and someone would swear I had future notice of a Tsunami coming and I wanted to be prepared before it hits.  This has been a hard habit for me to break.  It started when I was so young and it became a pattern….it became a normalcy in my life.  I am getting much better because when I have moments of rushing and doing 500 things at once I will stop and say, “What will really happen if this doesn’t get done today?”  When I answer the question there is rarely a negative response.  I realize I am rushing and planning in such detail for no reason.  A lot of this planning and structure was a huge part of my anxiety and depression issues that I juggled for a lot of years of my life.  I was always missing out on the NOW because I was 25 steps ahead in planning.

So now that you know more about my wacky personalities, I am curious to know what kind of personality you think you are.  Now, also, do not get me wrong with what I have written…I do not think Type A personalities are bad people.  I find this personality type to be the hardest to balance because there is a great deal of pressure.  When someone is a leader, it is inevitable that they will have enemies or people that dislike them for all kinds of reasons….or for no reason at all.  Many of the reasons are extremely superficial.  In being a “good” leader, one must be able to portray balance and stability…..they must be able to be firm but also sensitive.  See what I mean by it being a great balancing act.

Check out the definitions below that I found on the good ole Internet and fill me in…you know I am interested :0)   Also, what kind of effect do you feel that the different personality types have on relationships?  Can a Type A and a Type B really be compatible and have a successful relationship?

Type A “The Leader”

Behavior Characteristics: highly independent, take charge, decisive, direct, business-like, ambitious, efficient, motivated, persistent, focused, risk taking, practical solution oriented, dislike routine, high achieving, no-nonsense, multitasking, deadline driven and change oriented.

Weaknesses: aggressive, controlling, too competitive, impatient, status conscious, high strung, workaholic, often interrupt, insensitive, walk or talk at a rapid pace, easily upset over small things, blunt, rushed and time starved.

Appealing Jobs: business, entrepreneurship, management and politics.

Many researchers believe that Type A behavior is a reaction to environmental factors and are influenced by culture and job structure.  Many jobs today place unrealistic demands on time, emphasize efficiency and productivity, and put heavy penalties for mistakes.  This only creates additional stress making people less patient.  Others may be naturally intense, but this tendency is increased by environmental stress.

Type B “The Socializer”

Behavior Characteristics: highly extroverted, strong charisma, easy going, sense of humor, high energy, talkative, enthusiastic, gregarious, travel oriented, community minded, and enjoy being the center of attention.

Weaknesses: excessive socializing and may take things personally.

Appealing Jobs: advertising, event planning, marketing, public speaking, sales and travel consulting.

Type C “The Detailer”

Behavior Characteristics: introverted, accurate, logical, analytical, reserved, calculated, crave facts, consistent, procedural, rule abiding, predictable, dependable, loyal, patient, cautious, rational, risk averse, deep, thoughtful, sensitive and precise.

Weaknesses: perfectionism, overly serious, conforming, pleasing, difficulty communicating with others, unassertive, excessively detail oriented and emotionally limited.

Appealing Jobs: accountants, analyst, customer service representatives, engineers, programmers and technical careers.

Type D “The Distressed”

Behavior Characteristics: appreciate routine, need structure, orderly, dependable, supportive of others, punctual, consistent, motivated by security and benefits and work well from a set of directives.

Weaknesses: anxious, angry, depressed, worried, tense, inertia, change averse, overacting, inability to express emotions, low self-esteem, socially inhibited, lack creativity, resist responsibility and prefer to be told what to do.

Day 87 Question 87:

What are some of your pet peeves?

Ok, I try my hardest to always remain as positive as possible.  I am even having a terrific day today.  I just happened to pass by the thought of pet peeves and thought it would be a good topic to write about.  Let’s face it…we all have them.  These are those minor annoyances in life that don’t take control of us but we might enjoy the day just a tad bit more if these things weren’t occurring.  I admit that some of my pet peeves are superficial…See there I admitted to my own fault ;0)  Like I said, these pet peeves are nothing that control my days or ruin my life…they are just those things that make me cringe (sometimes for good reasons and sometimes for absolutely no good reason).  I am sure that I probably have a million habit that make other people absolutely crazy.  I actually find this a funny topic and I thought it would be fun to write about because it would allow me to read and re-read the silly things that sometimes just big me momentarily.  I think we need these pet peeves in our lives so we have the opportunity to laugh at ourselves…I mean if we can’t laugh at ourselves then I believe we aren’t living.  Ok so here we go…DIANE’S PET PEEVES:

~People that chronically complain-It makes me want to say, “Have you ever had a good day in your whole life?”  Children are being raped and murdered everyday but their continual hangover or the fact that their husband/wife didn’t buy them what they wanted for their birthday is reason to bitch and whine about life being so terrible every second of everyday.

~People who never admit to faults/take ownership of their mistakes.  Instead they decide to blame everything and everyone else.

~Hearing the world Frustrated pronounced wrong (meaning it being pronounced FUstrated-there is an R in there people)…I find that very Frustrating ;0)

~Negative political ad campaigns-Really?  Millions of dollars are being spent for a big he said/she said argument.  Can’t imagine why this country is in the shape that it is in?

~People that drive slow in the left lane.  I can’t tell you the number of times I have been behind this slow driving person and screamed (as if they could hear me), “BIG PEDAL ON THE RIGHT PEOPLE!”

~People using the term Boo for their significant other (or any other term of endearment).  This one is just me being picky—it’s just like the sound of nails on a chalkboard for me (shudder shudder).

~Extreme improper English.  I was an English major in my Undergraduate Studies.  I am far from perfect when it comes to reading and writing but I know better than to say, “I ain’t go no cheese” or “We be going to the store.”  I mean…this is first grade stuff here.

~Being asked at least once a week why I am single.  Yes, I am 33 years old, single, never married with no children.  This does not mean that I am some sort of freak! ;0)

~Know-It-Alls.  No matter what you talk about with some people they always have more information and more knowledge than you and their experiences have been way more exciting and educational than yours.  They have the answers to everything and they are always right no matter what and they are going to let you know that ALL OF THE TIME!  Know anyone like that?

~Getting pimples in my 30’s.  This is more of an annoyance than a pet peeve but come on….can the hormone fairy cut me some slack already :0)

~People that go from “Single” to “In a Relationship” to “Single” to “In a Relationship” to “Single” to “In a Relationship” (I think you know where I am going with this) every other week.  This has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever…I just can’t imagine relationship hopping that much.  If you are constantly changing your status like that maybe you need to realize you are just not good at relationships…hahahaha ;0)

I probably could go on listing minor pet peeves that occur at random times throughout the day/week/etc. but I shall end here….because I want to hear what your pet peeves are.  Remember this is a light-hearted subject….no need to go into any rages here.  All in good fun!  :0)

Day 86 Question 86:

Do you believe this country/world has become too politically correct?  What are your thoughts?

This question came to me so unexpectedly.  As a lot of you know I am currently working on my Masters Degree in Counseling studies.  When I started my original thoughts were that I wanted to work in an office/Counseling Center and counsel clients one on one or maybe do group settings from time to time.  It took me a while into the course to realize that is not really what I want.  I want to work in an organization (most-likely non-profit) as a Program Coordinator or Education Director of some kind and work with young girls and women.  I would love to be a motivational speaker on some level and educate/counsel young girls and women on the importance of self-worth and bettering their lives everyday.  I want to work with victims of crimes (rape, incest, abuse, human-trafficking) and guide them in a manner in which their lives can continually improve.

I am currently enrolled in a class called Counseling and Guidance in Diverse Populations.  The class focused on working with clients from a variety of diverse backgrounds.  In saying diverse a lot of people get wrapped up with skin color when in fact diverse is so much more than that.  I have worked in nonprofits for several years and it is always a point for directors to have a “diverse” staff so they are always on the lookout for individuals of all different colors.  It always made me laugh because you could have a staff that were all black or all white and still be as diverse as they come.  Diversity is not just skin color or race/heritage.  We are all diverse because none of us has the same background.  In an organization with an all black staff, there could be one member that is homosexual, one member that is college educated, one member that is Republican while another is Democrat, one member that is Born-Again Christian while another is Atheist.  Even the things I speak of are on pretty large levels.  People’s likes and dislikes (down to liking seafood or not liking seafood) can make a group of people diverse.

Ok I am getting a little off base…as usual.  Wink Wink!  The reason I chose this question today was because for class (I am doing classes online) we had to answer questions given by the teacher about our cultural background.  These were the questions:

Complete the Outline for a Cultural Autobiography in the Vontress, Johnson, and Epp text by answering the following questions:

1.What is your name, birth date, and place of birth?

2.What is your cultural or national heritage?

3.What was the cultural mix of the schools that you attended?

4.What was the cultural mix of the religious institutions that you attended?

5.What was the cultural mix of the neighborhood where you grew up?

6.What trips abroad have you taken?

7.What foreign languages do you speak, read, or write?

8.What is the cultural mix of your workplace?

9.Do you ever participate in social or recreational activities with people who are racially or culturally different from yourself?

10.Have you ever worked around people in the military or civilian sector who were different racially, culturally, or both?

11.Have you ever had racially or culturally different teachers or professors?

12.Do you now or have you ever taught, supervised, or otherwise been in charge of racially or culturally different people?

13.How do you feel around people who are racially or culturally different from yourself?

14.What academic courses have you had that are related to racial or cultural differences?

15.What other experiences have you had that would help a person understand your level of exposure to racial or cultural differences?

16.What type of climate do you feel most comfortable residing in?

Based on your cultural autobiography, answer the following questions:

•How would you describe your life experiences with people with different backgrounds than yours?

•What is your definition of culture?

•How does culture affect counseling?

•What are some things you can do to grow as a cross-cultural counselor?

I really enjoyed reading a lot of my classmates answers because I was able to learn more about them and also learn that so many of them were not of the cultures that I automatically assumed.  In our class we are supposed to respond to two classmates for every discussion question we answer.  I responded to a fellow classmate and this is what I said:

It was really nice to read this autobiography to get a better idea of you as a person. I, unlike you, grew up in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood/town. All of my classmates except two were Caucasian (the two were African American and Native American). While speaking of the cultural differences I keep thinking about the way we describe each other. I have always been accustomed to saying Black or White when describing someone but it seems as of lately most people are trying to be “politically correct” by saying Caucasian or African-American. I do not feel that describing someone as Black or White is an insult at all. What are your thoughts? Race and culture are very sensitive issues and I have also noticed that when someone is asked to describe someone else they shy away from using skin color. I find that amusing because it is the most predominant feature about the person to describe them and again I do not find it to be an insult. It is just a description to give a better idea of someone’s physical appearance. I do, however, understand the need for sensitivity towards these”issues” in certain circumstances. I would love to hear your thoughts. I am just wondering if you believe we have become to “politically correct” or “culturally sensitive”? I am torn with certain things.

What I stated I truly believe in.  I do not know about other countries as I have never visited or lived in any other than my own but I do believe we are getting to be a little ridiculous when it comes to being politically correct these days.  For example, it is a flight attendant not a stewardess.  I have had one snap at me for using that word.  Really?  I didn’t call you a bitch.  I hate to even say this but nowadays I do not even know the politically correct term for someone that is disabled…mentally retarded?  Handicapped? Learning Disabled?  Slow?  The terms are constantly changing and I cannot keep up.  I am not a spiteful person but come on….I don’t care if you refer to me as white because that is what I am.  I don’t need to be called Caucasian.  I do realize we do need to be sensitive and obviously use discretion but I think we have taken it to extremes and nowadays there are constant lawsuits and stories in the news about someone saying the wrong thing or using wrong terminology to describe someone.  There is a line between being respectful and being far too sensitive.  In my opinion when someone insists one being called something or another then they are just a little too big for their britches.  For example, I was visiting a local high school doing a small presentation for the staff and when referring to the principal I called him Mr. instead of Dr.  When I was leaving the auditorium I was pulled to the side by his secretary (or wait is she an administrative assistant) and was told he was Dr. not Mr. and I needed to remember that next time.  I just praised this man up and down in my presentation then caught hell for not using his proper title.  In my book he is still a Mr.  Good thing they couldn’t read my thoughts of what I was calling him in my head while exiting the building.  This is strictly my opinion, but some people get a little too high and mighty when it comes to titles.  Just because you have a job that pays you $100,000+ a year does not mean you are a God and should look down on everyone like they are pee-ons and expected to be acknowledged with a title.

I would love to hear others thoughts on the issues.  Do you think I am wrong?

P.S.  I found a website of a list of “politically correct” terms and I thought you might enjoy (at this rate we will eventually be using all of these terms) ;0)

A Criminal – unsavory character

A Crook – morally (ethically) challenged

Abortion – Near-Life Experience

Alcoholic – Anti-Sobriety Activist

Alive – temporarily metabolically abled.

An Immigrant – a newcomer

Assassination – involuntary term limitation

Bald – comb-free

Bald – folically independent

Bald – follicularly challenged.

Battle Fatigued – shellshocked

Blind – optically darker

Blind – photonically non-receptive

Blind – visually challenged

Body Odor – nondiscretionary fragrance.

Broken Down Automobile – mechanically challenged

Broken Home – Dysfunctional Family

Bum – Displaced Homeowner

Bum – Homeless Person

Bum – Involuntarily Domiciled

Cannibalism – Intra-Species Dining

Censorship – Selective Speech

Cheating – Academic Dishonesty

China – Porcelain

Chronically Late – Temporarily Challenged

Clumsy – uniquely coordinated

Commercial Fisherman – Flipper Whipper

Computer Illiterate – Technologically Challenged

Corpse – Permanently Static Post-Human Mass

Corpse / Stiff – Metabolically Challenged

Corpse / Stiff – Terminally Inconvenienced

Cowardly – Challenge Challenged

Cowboys – bovine control officers

Crackpot – certified astrological consultant, certified crystal therapist, or certified past-life regression hypnotist

Crime Rate – street activity index

Dead – Actuarially Mature

Dead – biologically challenged

Dead – environmentally correct human

Dead – living impaired

Dead – metabolically challenged

Dead – persons living with entropy

Deaf – Visually Oriented

Delicatessen – Corpse Farm

Dirty Old Man – sexually focused chronologically gifted individual

Dish Washer – utensil sanitizer

Dishonest – Ethically disoriented.

Dorm – Residence Hall

Drooling Drunk Idiot – person on floor

Drowning – aquatically challenged

Drug Addict – Chemically Challenged

Drunk – spacially perplexed

Drunk / Junkie – in recovery

Earthquake – geological correction

Fail – achieve a deficiency.

Fat – Differently Weighted

Fat – gravitationally challenged

Fat – horizontally challenged.

Fat – horizontally gifted

Fat – People of Mass

Fat – person of substance

Fictional / Mythological – ontologically challenged

Freshman – first-year student

Frog – amphibian American

Full of Crap – fecally plenary

Gang – Youth Group

Garbage Man – sanitation engineer

Gas Station Attendent – petroleum transfer technician

Geek, Nerd, whatever… – socially challenged

Ghetto / Barrio – Ethnically Homogenous Area

Hamburger – Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh

Handicapped – Differently Abled, Handi-Capable

Having PMS – cyclically challenged

Hearing Person – temporarily aurally abled

Homeless – outdoor urban dwellers

Homeless – residentially flexible

Homelessness – Mortgage-Free Living

Housebroken – Family Disfunction

Housewife – domestic engineer

Hunter – Animal Assassin

Hunter – Bambi Butcher

Hunter – Meat Mercenary

Ignorant – factually unencumbered

Ignorant – knowledge-based nonpossessor.

Incompetent – Differently Qualified

Incompetent – Specially Skilled

Incompetent – Uniquely Proficient

Insane People – Mental Explorers

Insane People – Selectively Perceptive

Insult – Emotional Rape

Janitor – sanitation engineer

Klutz – kinesthetically challenged

Large Nose – nasally gifted

Lazy – motivationally dispossessed

Lazy – motivationally deficient.

Learning Disability – Self-Paced Cognitive Ability

Library – Educational Resource Center

Logger – Wood Weasel

Logger – Paper Pirate

Logger -Treeslayer

Loser – Second Place

Loser – uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path

Man-hole – maintenance hole

Mankind – humankind

MANkind, HuMAN, PerSON – Earth Children

Mercy Killing – Euthanasia

Mercy Killing – Putting Down/To Sleep/Out of Misery

Messy – differently organized

Meter Maid – Parking enforcer

Midget / Dwarf – Little People

Midget / Dwarf – Vertically Challenged

Mute/Dumb – verbally challenged

Not with somebody at the moment – romantically challenged –

Off – energy-efficient

Old – chronologically gifted

Old Person / Elderly – Gerontologically Advanced

Old Person / Elderly – Senior Citizens

Panhandler – Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.

Paper Bag – processed tree carcass

Perverted – Sexually dysfunctional.

Pimp-mobile / Low-rider – Culturally Responsive Transportation Option

Plagiarism – Previously Owned Prose

Po’ – financially inept

Policeman, Policewoman – law inforcement officer

Poor – economically marginalized

Poor – Economically Unprepared

Poor – monetarily challenged

Postman – letter carrier

Pregnant – parasitically oppressed.

Prisoner – client of the correctional system

Prostitute – sex care provider

Psychobabble – constructivist feminist psychotherapy

Psychopath – socially misaligned

Racist – genetically discriminating

Really Big Nosed – nasally disadvantaged

Redneck – person of region

Redneck – rustically inclined

Refugees – asylum seekers

Road Kill – Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form

Rudeness – Tact Avoidance

Runny Nose – nasally gifted

Senile Bag o’ Bones – Alzheimer’s Victim

Serial-Killer – Person with difficult-to-meet needs.

Shoplifter – Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist

Short – vertically challenged

Sighted Person – temporarily visually abled

Slum – Economic Oppression Zone

Slut – suffering from a sex addiction (female)

Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone – morally handicapped

Spendthrift – negative saver.

Stained – creatively re-dyed

Steward, Stewardess – flight attendant

Stoned – Chemically inconvenienced.

Stud – suffering from a sex addiction (male)

Stupid – differently-brained

Stupid – intellectually impaired

The Elderly – Senior citizens

Thin – horizontally challenged

Thirsty – osmotically challenged

Tone Deaf – musically delayed

Too old/young – other aged

Too Tall – people of height

Tree-Hugger – environmental activist

Trees – Oxygen Exchange Units

Ugly – aesthetically challenged

Ugly – Cosmetically different.

Ugly – facially challenged

Unemployed – Involuntarily leisured.

Used Books – Recycled Books

Vagrant – Nonspecifically destinationed individual.

Vegetable – noble unconscious hero

Vice President – Post-Coronary Leader of the Free World

Vocal Minority – target equity group

Vomiting – Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices

Waiter, Waitress – food server

War-Monger – Peacekeeper, patriot

Welfare Bum – economically disadvantaged

Whaler – Blubber Lover

White – melanin-impoverished

White American – racially challenged

White Boy – rhythmically challenged

White Trash – caucasian culturally-disadvantaged

Wife – unpaid sex slave

Worst – least best.

Wrong – differently logical.

Day 85 Question 85:

What makes you Laugh? What puts you into hysterics? How often do you laugh?

Laughter really is the best medicine.  I laugh in excess some days.  My boss at the restaurant (the owner) where I work is always telling the manager how much she loves my laugh and she loves how happy I always am.  I am one of those people that has a sort of “dry” sarcastic sense of humor…never insulting though….I absolutely know the boundaries.

There are so many things that can make me laugh.  A lot of the time my laughter stems from the way a person tells a story.  I love when people can tell a story and give it life.  They can build up every moment then just drop the bomb on you which causes you to keel over in fits of laughter.  I don’t know if this story will even be given the justice it deserves in written form but I will give it a shot.  A close friend of mine and I were having lunch one day (we worked in the same building) and we were trading stories about the college days and all of the crazy and stupid things we did in the past.  When my friend finished telling me the story I am about the share below I had tears streaming down my face and I was unable to catch my breath because I was laughing so hard.  The story itself is awful but the way she acted it out made it just that much better.  Now mind you, this story does include driving while impaired and I DO NOT condone that….it is a story though and this person knows very well now what a poor choice it was to drive in that state.  Just for the sake of the story I am going to call my friend Ann (that is not her real name).  Anyhooooo, here it goes:

Ann and her friend Melissa had been out one night in upstate NY (the usual weekend ritual) and they were invited to a house party out in the country.  They decided to head out there and while they were there they both did quite a bit of drinking and even smoked pot.  Both were feeling quite toasty.  Something happened (I can’t remember exactly what she told me) but they got kicked out of the party.  I think it was a lot of country “rednecks” and some words were thrown out…not quite sure.  Anyhow, as they were leaving the house they were debating between each other which one was less wasted to drive (again I do not condone drinking in driving and lessons have been learned).  My friend Ann decided to drive and her friend Melissa rode in the passenger seat.  They were 15-20 miles from home and while driving they realized that the gas light as on and they were in desperate need of gas.  They found a gas station and pulled in.  Ann got out of the car, went up to the pump and started to “pump gas”.  You will understand in a minute why I put that phrase in quotes.  While she was standing there her friend Melissa rolled down her window and they just hung there chatting and laughing about the events of the night.  About fifteen minutes had passes of them jabbering to each other when Ann took a look around.  She looked at her friend and said, “This gas station is closed.”  In her next breath she said, “It has been closed and abandoned for at least 15 years now.”  Ann and her friend had pulled into a gas station that had weeds grown up almost the same heights as the pump with windows busted out of the station itself and there were no lights on.  The only light there was, was that of the street light in front of the station.  The entire time she stood there, she had no idea she was not pumping any gas and absolutely nothing had happened.  She said it took them about 20 minutes to get their composure from going into such hysterics and they were so thankful that a cop never drove by because undoubtedly he would have known something was suspicious.  Again, I may not have done this story justice (and again I do not condone driving while impaired but it was a silly choice of young people-unfortunately I have done it myself).  When this story was told to me, it was told with such animation that I could picture everything so vividly and knowing my friend’s personality, I lost it and just burst into laughter.  People in the building were even walking by giving us strange looks because we were laughing so hard.

Laughter for me comes from animated stories or someone with that charismatic personality.  I could watch re-runs of Modern Family all day long strictly for the humor.  The show is made up of a cast that are absolutely genius.  Each actor/actress on the show is so skilled at their trade because their characters are believable and they all have personalities that exude humor.  They can capture an audience with their humor….especially Ty Burrell (in my opinion).  If you have not watched this show I would recommend you check it out on hulu or go by the boxsets because I guarantee it will bring a lot of laughter for you.

In my opinion, laughter is truly that instant vacation.  To me when you are able to enjoy that sincere, heart-felt laughter (not forced and awkward) it shows that you are vulnerable (in a good way) and you are completely comfortable in the moment.  When you laugh you learn more about yourself as a person and what kind of things you find humorous and who you are able to share the same humor with.

To bring a little humor and smiles into everyone’s day I thought I would cut and paste some funny jokes that I found.  We all need some down time and some time to lighten the burdens of life and just enjoy some good ole adult comedy.  I hope you enjoy :0)

The Hippie And the Nun (15)

 One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for God to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like God and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”

The Patient (15)

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath…

‘Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask “Are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies ‘I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.’

He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, are my testicles black?’

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, ‘There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir !!’

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely……

‘ A r e-m y-t e s t-r e s u l t s-b a c k ? ‘

Funny Questions

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”, but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

What disease did cured ham originally have?

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

What do you call a woman with one leg?

– Ilene

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?

– Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

– Bob

What did the left nut say to the right nut?

The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese!

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?

Cause he was caught with seaweed.

WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?

BOO-BEE

Whats best about shagging Twenty – Eight year olds?

There is Twenty of them!

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?

Give the bitch a shovel

The fight we had last night was my fault,

my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

I also reccommend checking out these websites:

www.damnyouautocorrect.com

www.textsfromlastnight.com

www.peopleofwalmart.com

Day 84 Question 84:

What big changes are you hoping for your future?  What things are you hoping to do?

I had an in-depth conversation with my mom yesterday.  I was all flustered in the morning because of getting into it with my property manager but as the day went on I eased up and the day became peaceful.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to my mom.  I had a lot on my mind but wasn’t sure what angle to approach her at with the stuff I was thinking about.  Not in a bad or negative way but sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into my family.  What I mean is that my dreams and the course my life has taken has been so drastically different from anyone in the family.  I have been one to always push the envelope (tattoos, piercings, partying, experimenting with different things—but there are also a lot of positives to add to the list) and I just don’t know where I picked this up and where my desires have evolved from.  I have been the person in my family that just runs toward learning more and more and more.  I soak myself in books and learning about different cultures and all of the time I become more and more passionate about different issues.  I have this urge to experience so many different things and as of lately I feel like I have not been fulfilling my full potential.  Don’t get me wrong I am very happy with who I am and I am happy with my life and my choices but I am really starting to feel the urge to push myself farther than I ever have before.  I know the capabilities that I have and I no longer want to put them on the back burner.

When I finally opened up to my mom I actually started to tear up.  I told her how I feel so happy in my life right now because I have let go off so much of my self-loathing and negative thinking.  I told her that I am finally in that place where I  feel peace and I feel a sense of confidence that I had never experienced on the outside before.  I knew it had always been lingering on the inside but until now I had no idea how to pull it out.  I told her that I am feeling the desire to step outside of my comfort zone and I know that I need to be doing work that will allow me to help others.  I told her that I feel that I am meant to work in helping young girls and young women better their lives….that I would like to work with an organization that helps women all over the world.  I want to be part of the process in helping women become educated, graduate high school, ready themselves for college (when they may have never thought college was a possibility), prepare them for the workforce.  I told her I would love to stand in an auditorium and speak to young women about the importance of positive self-image and how the media does not need to influence them.  I want to teach and counsel young girls in order to make them understand and feel the true beauty they hold within themselves.  I want to help girls get to a place of self-loving and a place of personal peace long before the age of 33.  I want to help young girls and women become strong, passionate women that achieve their goals.  I want to help victims of poverty, rape, torture (in whatever manner) it may be and be part of the process of rehabilitation.  I feel it in my bones that this is what I am meant to do.  I am meant to spread the word about these important topics.  I am meant to be a part of the process to help make the world a little bit of a better place.  I need to help make some drastic changes.  I want to be a part of something big…not for recognition but for the possibility of bringing humanity even the tiniest bit closer.

I have stood by and watched day by day the occurrence of school shootings, hate crimes, news about child molestation, kidnappings, sex trafficking.  I do not want to just stand by anymore.  I want to get my hands dirty.  I told my mom tonight that I have been doing some research on some organizations around the country.  I am working on writing a cover letter that will grab the attention of the organization director along with pictures of past events for youth that I have headed up (a portfolio per se’).  The problem is, in complete honesty, is that I am scared.  I am not scared of starting a new job or meeting new people or being in a new place (it is a little nerve wracking but not completely scary).  What scares me is the chance of having another “nervous breakdown” and being away from my mother or my family.  The mental breakdown/severe panic attack (that lasted for days) that I had years back was terrifying and I do not want that to happen to me all alone in a strange place.  With this being said though, I know that I HAVE to face this fear if I am going to live the life I so desperately want.  I know that the area I am currently residing in has nothing to offer me.  I need to be somewhere that I will feel is my niche…where I am meant to be doing what I am meant to do.  I am not married, I have no children and I do love my jobs (but neither of them are careers) but nothing is holding me here.  I have no ties to where I am and a part of me feels like this would be the HUGE jump that I need to take in order to prove to myself what I am truly capable of.  I HAVE to let go of fears if I want to make the difference that I keep talking about.  My mom told me she was beyond proud of me.  She loves the passion that I have inside of me.  She doesn’t always understand me but she loves that I love to read and I write constantly.  She told me she would miss me a lot if I left (I don’t live at home with them—I live about 10 minutes from them) and she would hate for me to go through any sort of “nervous breakdown” again but she believes that I can do it.  She knows what I want and she knows I have so much to give and so much to share.  This conversation was one of the most sincere I feel that we have ever had because I was honest about what I really wanted.  She wants me to write and book and that is something that I very much want to but I do feel that I must make some of these changes that I am discussing to get the content of the book that I desire to write.  I believe once my niche is found that the creativity with flow more naturally.

These are the big changes that I hope to see on the horizon.  I work hard now but I am going to need to push and push and push to get this ball rolling.  I am putting on my determination hat right now!  I welcome all input and I welcome all suggestions…especially about great areas to live.  Life is too short to not take chances and not take risks.  I want to look at my life in 50 years and smile because I never settled for the average….I instead chose to always chase my dreams and never stop learning along the way.

Day 83 Question 83:

What do adults bully?

First off I want to say Happy Easter to all of my readers.  I am not a highly religious person but I love to have these days with my parents…dying Easter eggs and enjoying endless hours of conversation.  My day did not start out at all the way that I was planning.  I was planning on getting up, writing my blog entry, finishing off some school work and head to my parents for a nice relaxing day.  My plan got completely derailed when I received an email from my real estate agent/property manager.

Let me give you a little back information.  I live in a condo community in which I am renting.  My roommate and I go through a real estate company to rent our unit.  The condo is owned by an older couple and to make their lives easier they decided to go through a realtor so that person could deal with any outsourcing for repair work.  I have lived in this condo for 2 ½ years and I have seen this woman (real estate agent) maybe 3 times.  This woman is the DEVIL.  If you do not think the devil exists you are wrong….she does and she is my “landlord”.  Everytime we have an issue at the condo and need something repaired I will email her and she will send someone to fix it.  After it is repaired, like clockwork she will send a nasty email telling me she cannot believe the way that we live and how everything that is broken is our fault.  This woman is a complete bully.  She has passed so much judgment on me and has insulted my character a great deal of times.  I received another one of these emails this morning (we just got our garbage disposal fixed) and I lost it.  I am not a confrontational person and I strive to be civil but today is Easter Sunday and this woman went ahead accusing me yet again of (in her own words) living below what she thinks we should live.  Our house is not sparkling clean (considering we both work 60+ hours a week) but we are by no means disgusting pigs the way this woman has insinuated more than once.  And again, we rent and have paid a security deposit (to cover cleaning and damages if needed) and this woman has felt the need over and over again to tell us that the way we live is not up to her standards.

I did not want to stoop to her level of being a bully but I had enough and I believe she needed to hear what I had to say.  This woman NEVER does walk throughs at our condos, never tells us when gate passes or gym passes have changed (we live in a gated community and usually find this out when we roll up to the gate and are unable to get into our own development).  Our lease was up in November and we had decided to go month to month (she approved and said we would have to give her 2 months notice if we decide to leave).  She has never drafted a current lease stating that we are month to month and we have signed nothing.  My roommate has been living with me for a year and a half and the first time he EVER saw her was 14 months in and she came to “help” with our electrical problem.  He snapped at my roommate about how the carpets were dirty (which we had rug cleaners scheduled to come in 2 days later) and there are marks on the wall (due to it being painted with flat paint).  My roommate finally told her she had to leave and of course an hour later I receive and email telling me about how we live being unacceptable (again by no means are we pigs) and how we need to do this and do that.  Today was my last straw.  Bullying (no matter what age) is wrong and no one deserves to be treated like that.  I was not going to be her victim and bow down to her.  I called her this morning very heated and her first words in a pissy voice were, “Diane, can we talk Monday?”  I very heatedly returned by saying, “You send me this nasty email on Easter Sunday, no we will talk about it now.”  I proceeded to tell her that she was a bully and I was done taking it from her.  In the midst of the “conversation” she hung up on me.  The woman could dish the mean insults all day long but she surely cannot take it when someone points out all of her flaws.  This woman even gets her hair done at the same salon that I do and the women working there absolutely detest her.  They say that she is extremely rude and will constantly question their skills and their trade in general.  If she is sooooo unhappy with their work, why does she go there.  She goes there because she enjoys being a bully.  This woman enjoys trying to find victims to treat like this because I believe in her sick, twisted world it makes her feel better about herself.

I wish I knew why people were bullies.  I am sure there are an array of reasons and I think one of the main reasons is the desire for power for some people.  I believe some people prey on the people they believe to be weak and I think that is sick!  Maybe I should not have responded as I did but I was over being treated in a way in which my character and person were being insulted.  It just was not right…especially by someone that DOES NOT do her job.  Anyhow, I apologize for the long rant but I hate when people bully….I don’t care what age they are.  It has become an epidemic and some people have this sense of entitlement and they believe it is ok to treat others like this.  IT IS NOT!!!!  I would never treat someone like that because I was raised to treat people with kindness and I have learned to used tact and discretion.  I do not mind if someone is stern with me but when my character is insulted or I am told how I need to live then I have a problem.

I again apologize for this content on what is supposed to be a joyful day.  With my meditation I have been able to ease my emotions quite quickly but this morning I was set off and it took me a little while to come down from my anxiety of the situation.  I just don’t function like that and I think our country/the world are in a great state of despair because of too many people acting in this sort of way.  Treating others like they are animals or like they are below you in status is not right.  Speaking to someone in a belittling manner is not right.  Insulting someone is not right.  Disrespecting someone based on their appearance, gender, sexual orientation, etc. is not right.  I had had enough this morning with this woman.  This was the last time I was going to be bullied by her.  I did not insult her character and my goal was not an eye for an eye.  My goal was to tell her that I deserved much more respect as a tenant than she was giving me and I would not condone being insulted every single time I would contact her in regards to something being fixed.  I never went outside of the argument and threw out any insults regarding her character because I know better than that.

I am now done with my rant…it was just one of those days that a lot of unnecessary chaos occurred…unfortunately they are inevitable to happen from time to time.  I just wasn’t expecting it to happen on Easter Sunday (btw in one of her return emails part of her response was: Well I sure hope you never get a letter from the IRS on Christmas Eve).  So more or less she was telling me I was stupid that I cared about it being Easter….and really????  Why on earth would I get a letter from the IRS on Christmas Eve?  This lady is off her rocker.  Ha Ha Ha.  On this end I am just going to send positive energy in hopes that she starts to treat people better.  I am going to be thankful that I do not treat people in that respect.  After this is written and posted I am going to let it go and move on.

I hope all of my readers had a wonderful day.  I hope you were able to be with your families and I hope the weather was cooperative.  I send you so much love and so much positive energy!

Day 82 Question 82:

Is revenge sometimes justified?  Do you believe in an eye for an eye?

As strange as it sounds, this is a subject I have thought about a lot lately.  I guess that would be due to everything I have been reading and watching…plus a certain work circumstance.  Honestly, I do not believe in an eye for an eye.  I find it to be just a simple solution to try to brush whatever the problem is under the rug.  I have been reading a book called Half the Sky (amazing book-I recommend everyone read it) and it deals with the issue of human trafficking/sex trade.  The stories in the book paint images of horrific acts being performed on women…gang rape, mutilation, beatings.  It is heartbreaking to think that some females are born in certain countries and their destiny is to live a life of torture.  With this being said, I do not believe the answer is to brutally beat or murder the person/people responsible.  I just cannot see (and this is strictly my opinion) what that solves.  If anything it opens the door for bigger problems.  In the book a woman was gang raped and beaten and in her country the normal next occurrence is for the woman to commit suicide.  In this case she did not but instead she fought back and she went to the authorities and she demanded recognition of the problem by government authorities.  The man responsible for her rapings and beatings sat in a court room filled with dozens of other women he had also raped and victimized.  The women grew angrier and angrier and formed a circle around the man and stabbed him thousands of times and cut off his penis.  By the end of it all he was just a pile of blood and guts strewn all over the floor.  I completely understand the anger and pain these women are experiencing but their actions of an “eye for an eye” have now caused all of them to live a life in hiding.  This man that they killed had an “army” behind them and they were out to seek revenge.  These women now may never live a life of any kind of freedom.  Trust me, I am not condoning any actions of this horrible man that did these things to these innocent women, I just believe there are other ways than violence to solve the problem.

For a very long time I supported the death penalty.  I supported it because my father does and I guess I just felt like it was the right way of thinking.  The more I studied and became educated and found my beliefs, the more I realized that I really don’t support the death penalty.  It seems to me like the government/police officials are performing the same sort of act that got the perpetrator thrown in jail.  I just don’t believe two wrongs make a right.  Killing is killing no matter what the circumstance may be.  I think our legal system in this country needs a big change and honestly a part of me thinks we are so deep in the hole that most people have given up trying to change.  Our country (and so many other countries) have become far too violent and I just can’t condone this type of violence on any level.  As cliché as it may sound, violence is never the answer.  I know I may have that peace, love and happiness hippie mentality but I just don’t understand why violence has become the answer for so many?  I cannot be convinced that it is ever really the best strategic move for someone to make.  In my opinion violence and believing that an “eye for an eye” is the right way of thinking just makes more and more people ignorant.  Unfortunately, these sort of ways of thinking are teaching people ignorance without even realizing it.

I have said before that if someone were to harm my family that I would undoubtedly take them out but truth be told that would not be what I would do.  I know a lot of rage would build up inside of me and the thoughts would be there but I would rather someone rot in a 4-walled bare room by their lonesome and die from their own craziness than to kill them myself or have them killed (even if it was an execution).  The latter just seems like too easy of a way out and in my opinion it gives complete control and power to the perpetrator.  He may be losing his life but he is going out knowing that the government and the people stooped to the same level he did in the end.

What I am about to talk about it completely off the beaten path or murders and death.  An eye for an eye does not always have to be on such horrific scales.  I work at a restaurant part-time and I love it but there are a few people there that are just straight up slackers.  There are two in particular that just do the bare minimum to get by.  They both portray senses of entitlement and in my opinion they just act selfish and it is just a job to them (meanwhile one is in his mid 30’s and the other is in her 40’s and they are destined to be servers the rest of their lives).  The job requires a good amount of prep work by the staff in order for each day/night to run smoothly.  I came to work on Wednesday night after working my day job and nothing was prepped.  I was working with the female I just spoke of.  I asked her why nothing was prepped and she told me that the male I spoke of left her high and dry and she wasn’t going to prep anything and that he needed to learn his lesson.  Neither one of them saw the big picture and realized that they were fucking over the ENTIRE restaurant.  They were playing this silly game of getting back at each other and never realized that the owner and all of the staff are the ones that suffer when nothing is done.  I start prepping for the next day so it would be ready because we are coming into the summer and it can become a madhouse there.  If you aren’t prepared you are just asking for chaos.  While I was prepping she just kept telling me how I just needed to leave it for him and blah blah blah.  I told her that was not how I worked.  The best interest is for the restaurant and for the owner to have a successful business.  The picture is so much larger than either of them were choosing to see.  When items are not prepped people have to wait longer for their food which in turn could mean the loss of future business and we all know how word of mouth can spread like wildfire.  It can be a quick spiral down…even if it starts with something as small as prepping items for salads.

By no means am I perfect.  I have moments of anger and flying off the handle too quickly but since I have starting meditating and chosen to take a whole different outlook on life I have come to realize that holding grudges and holding onto anger is far too toxic.  An eye for an eye solves nothing…even in the most horrific of cases.  We all are supposed to hold our power and when we stoop to the level of the accused then all we are doing is handing all of our power over to them.

If you have never seen it, I definitely recommend checking out the movie Gandhi.  I have inserted the entire youtube video below.  Again, I know to many I may sound like I am full of fluff and my ideals are not realistic but if we do not have some people to spread the peace and love can you imagine what this world would be like…it is already headed in that direction.  I have been part of the problem for too long and I am over with that.  I want to be part of the solution.

Day 81 Question 81:

What are your thoughts on previous lives/afterlife?

There have been discussions about whether we ever lived previous lives or whether or not there is an afterlife for as long as I can remember.  Most of you know that I do not consider myself a religious person.  I am not drawn to God, The Bible, Christianity, etc. but I am absolutely a spiritual being.  I do believe there is something out there that guides us all…something that makes us lead through the paths that we do.  I am unsure if I really believe in coincidences.  I believe things fall into place the way they are meant to.  I am unsure of the reasons though.  For the longest time I was in search of the answer but I have realized that the journey is the answer.

When asked if I believe in previous lives or an afterlife I do have to say yes that I do believe in both.  I believe our experiences in many cases are a result of something that happened in a previous life.  We may have no knowledge or remembrance of this life.  We may have lived in a completely different form.  I believe we can only come in touch with it when we reach a complete state of enlightenment…when our life is in perfect balance.  I know not everyone is going to agree with this.  I say this because this is what I feel.  I would never try to twist anyone’s arm to think and believe as I do.  For several years I had experienced dreadful self-doubt and had gone through a couple of full blown mental breakdowns.  I was on and off medication and even with medication I still was nervous and worried.  I could never pinpoint where exactly the worry and dread were coming from.  I believe something in my past life was sending me a message.  I believe I needed to experience those things to bring awareness and change into my life.  It may seem silly to some but it makes sense to me.  I am unable to except that when we die in this life that that is the end.  There are too many things out there that seem to tell me otherwise.

The reason I chose this question is because I wanted to share a story I fell in love with that I read while I was at the gym last night.  This question is hard to answer for me in the written word because it is something more that I feel rather than what I think.  I would love to know your thoughts about the subject….I am always open to different viewpoints.

The story is as follows:

Grandma Was a Shaolin Monk

By Antonio Graceffo

I was a successful investment banker in New York City, but I quit my job to follow my dreams and live an adventure life in Asia. Over the last five and a half years, I have lived in temples, tribal villages and jungles. Through the books, CDs, DVD, and magazine articles I write I hope to share my adventures with others who feel trapped in their lives and their careers. You can take a look at my website at speakingadventure.com. You may not know it, but you are on your path already.

I was wearing an oversized white cowboy hat, boots three sizes too big, two pistols, and nothing else. The woman I was with refused to take me to the fair till I put some clothes on.

I stomped my foot and shouted, “But grandma, I don’t want to put any clothes on.”

It was the feast day of Santo Antonio, my patron saint, which for me was like a second birthday that I looked forward to all year. My grandma took me by the hand, and walked me – after I had dressed, of course – what seemed a long, long way to the festival at Our Lady of Perpetual Suffering Church.

Pink cotton candy melted on my tongue as I stood in a crowd of excited children, our noses pressed up against the fence, each waiting impatiently for our turn to ride the carousel. The carousel went round and round. Amid the flashes of red, white, and green, each of us secretly selected that horse, that perfect horse that we would mount when the time came.

For me, the choice was easy. There was a tremendous white stallion which looked identical to the Lone Ranger’s horse, Silver. The Lone Ranger was a major hero for me. I lived with my grandmother because my mother had died when I was a baby. I always felt small and weak. But the Lone Ranger was big and strong. I had no control over who I was or where I went, which is another reason I idolized the Lone Ranger. He was so fiercely independent and could ride his horse anywhere he wanted any time.

When the attendant raised the red velvet rope, it was like opening the starting gate at Belmont raceway. A throng of laughing, screaming children sprinted to the carousel, praying that they would get the horse they wanted. Unbelievably, no one had taken my horse. When I got close enough, I vaulted onto his back. Well actually, the attendant had to help me.

In my child’s imagination, the only thing that separated me from the Lone Ranger was my clothes and my lack of a horse. I believed that riding that horse, wearing my hat, pistols, and boots would change me into the Lone Ranger. “Hi Yo, Silver!!!” I screamed with excitement.

There was a mirror at the side of the carousel. As we came around, I fully expected to see a reflection of myself transformed into a magnificent Lone Ranger. But to my great disappointment, what I saw instead was the same small, weak boy I had been when I started. By the third time we had gone around, I was forced fully back into my sad reality by the small image in the mirror. I threw my hat on the ground in despair.

When the ride finished, my grandmother picked me up off of the horse. Seeing my profound disappointment, she encouraged me, “Anthony, no matter where you go, or what you do, no matter how far you ride on any horse, you will always be you. You are wonderful, and I love you just the way you are.”

Then she smiled and added, “but if it makes you happy to dream you’re the Lone Ranger, then do it. Don’t ever stop dreaming for the rest of your life.” She put the hat back on my head, and I fell asleep in her arms on the subway ride home.

When I woke up, I was thirty-four years old.

I was a successful investment banker working on Wall Street. Money had become the guiding principle of my life. Most of my day was spent sending out letters or calling people on the phone and asking them to buy my products. Mired in paper and consumed by visions of wealth, I had forgotten who I was. Yet I still had a picture of the Lone Ranger on the wall in my office.

The feast of Santo Antonio had just passed and rather than celebrating, I had worked twelve hours that day. But on a quiet Tuesday morning just days later, the concussion of two planes crashing into the side of the World Trade Center woke me from my slumber. Ironically, it was like awakening from my life and falling into a horrific dream.

When the buildings in Manhattan were evacuated, I joined the press of terrified humanity, wandering aimlessly through the silent and crowded streets. The air was full of a white powder, which I believed was anthrax or some other chemical or biological agent.

Thinking I had been sentenced to death, I made my way to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. The pews were full, and the doors were jammed with people praying silently, tears streaming down their faces.

I would later learn that the dust that clogged my nostrils, burned my lungs, and gummed up my eyes, was not some poison, but rather the charred remains of 3,000 innocent people who lived like me, concerned only with the rise and fall of the stock market. For many, the single legacy they would leave behind was the money they had earned.

Faced with death, money means nothing. We are all mortal, which by definition means we are all faced with possibility of death every minute of every day, whether we are aware of it or not. Awakened from the slumber of what had been, I saw for the first time that money has no real meaning any moment of any day.

I vowed to change my life, to become a different person. And so, I flew to Asia in search of another path. My first stop was Taiwan, where I soon settled in with my newfound Kung Fu team. They took me in and gave me a place to sleep. They fed me. They gave me clothing. They trained me. They taught me kung fu and culture. And most especially, they taught me about their religion. My teammates here weren’t considered monks, yet as Kung Fu practitioners, they were deeply devoted to their practice of Buddhism.

In the west, when we feel indebted to someone, we can assuage our guilt by paying them. But there was nothing I could give these avowed ascetics. When I tried to give them money, they refused to accept it. This confused me, because back in New York, I didn’t know anyone who refused money.

Later, after I learned to speak their language, I talked to them about it. “Why do you always refuse when I try to give you money?” I asked. Using my Chinese name, they said, “An Dong Ni, money is a prison. The things we own wind up owning us.”

Over a period of months, as my understanding of the language, the culture and the religion grew, they explained further. The Buddhists believe that each time we die, we will be reincarnated at a higher or lower level, depending upon the balance of our good and bad deeds in our last life. Their ultimate goal is to reach the highest level, and they believe that the things we own will weigh us down and keep us from that highest goal.

They told me that if I took all of my money and possessions, wrapped my arms around them and jumped in a swimming pool, I would sink to the bottom and die. The only way to save myself would be to let go of those things. Only then would I be free. Money and possessions form golden chains, they said, which prevent the soul from soaring to the next level. The only way to get free is to cut those chains.

I determined to cut all of the chains with my old life. The first chain I had already cut when I left my country. Next, I cut my money, my job, my language, and my culture. I lived like my Chinese brothers, and I learned to love them.

The one chain I still maintained was my religion. I was still Catholic. And, as much as I loved studying with my friends, and even going to prayers with them, in my heart I just didn’t feel that I could ever give up my religion. I sought advice from my Buddhist advisor on this, “Gwo Su, you are the best person I know, serene, peaceful, kind, generous. I want to be like you. Should I become Buddhist?”

Gwo Su shook his head with a soft smile. “Have you learned nothing from us? We weren’t teaching you to become one of us. We were teaching you a lesson in tolerance. If I ask you to become like me, to take my religion, this is not tolerance.”

“Tolerance,” he said, “is learning to accept people who are different. If you can learn to accept and love people who are different, if you can learn to see their differences as beautiful, then you have achieved tolerance.”

After two years with these spiritual warriors, Gwo Su’s wise words helped me to realize that although I had been going through the motions, I had failed to learn this central lesson. They had always given me the freedom to live as an American Catholic among Chinese Buddhists without ever asking me to change. This was a truly profound lesson.

“How could I have been so stupid?” I asked.

“You Americans are so full of yourselves that it is nearly impossible for you to learn anything new,” Gwo Su said flatly. “If your glass is full of water, you cannot put something more tasty into it. You must first empty your glass that it may be filled. Only by loosing everything are we free to gain the most precious gifts.”

The Buddhists believe that each time we are reborn, we are born at just the right level – based on our accumulation of past good and bad deeds or karma – to learn the lessons that we need to learn in order to progress spiritually. So a cruel king may be reborn as a beggar in order that he may learn humility. Thus if you are born as a man, a woman, a horse, disabled, rich, or poor, it is because these are the lessons that you need to learn through taking on these roles.

These martial arts masters also believe that your race, your religion, and sometimes even your profession – the core aspects of who you are – are all carefully chosen, and you cannot change them. They feel that the way you are born is the way you should be. Yes, you can change your actions. You can change your behavior. But you cannot change the core of who you are.

Through my extraordinary journey with these people, I learned that acceptance and tolerance both of myself and of those around me opens the door to incredible new possibilities.

My next stop was Mainland China, where I lived with the monks in Shaolin Temple, the birth place of Chinese martial arts. None of us worked or went to school there. We spent all of our time learning Kung Fu and learning more lessons in Buddhism.

After departing Shaolin, I took up residence in Hong Kong where I wrote a book called The Monk from Brooklyn – a daily account of my many fascinating experiences in the presence of these masters. I decided that I wanted to dedicate my life to adventure and to learning and studying. Through my writing and public speaking, I wanted to pass the valuable lessons I learned on to others.

But to do that, I would need money. And the only way I could think of to get money was to sell my books and magazine articles.

The next thing I knew, I found myself sitting in an office I had set up in Starbucks of all places, in Hong Kong. I had my computer and my cell phone, a Mocha Frapuccino and my Lone Ranger screen saver. I spent all day sending email or calling people on the phone asking them to buy my books and magazine articles.

One day, in the midst of a heavy negotiation with a publisher, I burst out laughing as it suddenly hit me. I had traveled half way around the world only to wind up back where I started! I was a salesman again, doing exactly what I had done on Wall Street. But the monks had taught me that this, too, was OK. I am a salesman, and that is who I am.

If I had just listened to my grandma all those years ago at the Feast of Santo Antonio, I could have saved myself a lot of miles and a lot of heartache. She had told me, “Anthony, no matter where you go or what you do, no matter how far you ride on any horse, you will always be you. You are wonderful, and I love you just the way you are.”

Then she smiled and she said, “but if it makes you happy to dream you are the Lone Ranger, then you do it.” I guess my grandma would be happy because sometimes, if the work gets too monotonous, I step away from my desk, put on the cowboy hat, the boots, the two pistols, and nothing else.

My grandma also told me, “don’t ever stop dreaming, for the rest of your life.” Those words reminded me of stories the monks had told me. My grandmother somehow already knew the lessons that the Shaolin monks had taught me so well. Sometimes, I believe I will wake up from this crazy dream and discover that I really am just a little boy sleeping in her arms on the subway, dreaming that I am this man. And the monks would tell me, I am truly both. It is just another form of the same person.

The one lesson that I wish to give is this: You are who you are, and that is OK. Whether you are a man or a woman, rich or poor, fat or skinny, old or young, you are fine just the way you are. It doesn’t matter if you are Black, White, Asian, Latino, Hindu, Sikh, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, or whatever else. It is our differences that make us special. Celebrate your uniqueness! Yet allow others their uniqueness, too.

And if you make a conscious choice to change jobs, start a business, earn more money, lose weight, finish a degree, or achieve any goal or dream you have, just do it. If you believe it will serve you, go ahead and do it. But don’t ever let anyone bully you into feeling bad about who you are. You are who you are supposed to be.

Like my grandma and the Shaolin masters, I now know that you are beautiful just the way you are.

Day 80 Question 80:

What did you dream of becoming when you were younger, and why?  If you did not become this, what do you think the reason is?

I am not one to have regrets or wish that I could go back in time and change things (ok well not very often at least).  I believe things happen the way they are meant to.  I believe we need to learn from our choices and our “mistakes” and we are meant to be where we are at at this very moment.

I am not unhappy with my life even a little bit.  I do sometimes think about what life would be like if I had done things different or chosen a different path (I think it is natural to think that way).  As young as being in elementary school I always held onto the dream of being a reporter/journalist.  As many of you know very well, I love to write and to express myself.  Sometimes my grammar is imperfect and I tend to avoid proofreading far too much but the passion is there and it is the one thing I KNOW I am good at.  I know I am able to express myself in a way that can catch a reader’s attention.  I discuss topics which I believe are relatable to a lot of people.

In remember in the 5^th grade we had an assignment where everyone in the class had to design the front cover of a newspaper.  This cover needed to include a newspaper name, articles and pictures.  The goal was to catch the attention of our fellow classmates.  The teacher wanted us to show creativity as well as do research on important topics.  Of course he was also making sure we were using correct grammar and punctuation.  When this assignment was due the teacher posted all of these newspaper covers in the hallway (there were about 22 kids in my class) outside of the classroom.  He decided (without us previously knowing this) to make this a contest.  We each had to go out into the hallway and review all of the newspaper cover designs and vote for which one we thought was the best.  The teacher made sure that we did not choose based on popularity or voted for our own or our friends (unless we really did think our friends was the best).  The teacher tallied up the votes and the next day the winner was announced.  To my complete and utter shock, I was announced the winner.  I remember my newspaper cover including a picture of an airplane with the roof being torn off (I am not exactly sure of what details I gave in the article) and another stories about zombies being found in a local neighborhood.  This was an assignment that I loved.  I put a lot of effort into it but the effort came easy because it was something I was interested…something that grabbed and held my attention.  Winning this contest meant everything to me at the time because it showed me that I was good at something…I was able to see that I really did have a natural talent.

Over the years I was always drawn to writing.  I did not always love writing assigned papers for classes but when a topic interested me I felt like I could write forever.  When I was young I had Christmas stories published in the local newspaper and when I was in college I wrote short stories that I still hold onto in a folder in my bedroom to this very day.  In middle school when we had to take Career Skills and we were asked (about 10,000 times) what we would like to do for a career, my answer always came back to reporting/journalism.

As you know I have not become a reporter/journalist.  I am not living a life of regrets of kicking myself every day because of it.  I would still love to work for a newspaper.  I would love to climb the ladder and become a well-known reporter that is able to report news pieces on so many topics/issues that I find of great importance.  I would love to have my name under an article title in a major newspaper on a daily/weekly basis.  I guess I just got stuck.  Life seemed to be on this timeline for so long and until fairly recently I was just walking around in circles and didn’t really know what I wanted my life to be.  I have dove into so many things that I love and have had amazing experiences in my life…I don’t doubt that I will always be doing something that I love.  The reason I am drawn to reporting/journalism is because no 2 days are ever the same.  There is non-stop opportunity to continue learning.  There is non-stop opportunity to meet new people and be exposed to different viewpoints.  It is a job that is never boring….a job filled with excitement and adventure.

I can’t give a solid answer as to why I did not pursue this passion in my younger years (who knows I may still pursue it—I am quite drive and age should not be a factor).  If I had to guess I would say it is because I was not living for me.  I grew up thinking that life needed to be a certain way.  I tended to be a follower in my younger years and now that I am older and have figured out life a lot more I have realized that I was destined to be a leader….it just required time to get to that conclusion.  I was (and still kind of am) a people pleaser.  I was choosing to do what I thought other people would want me to do or what I thought would make other people happy.  I wanted to please my parents (and I do not think there is anything wrong with that).  I went in directions in which I thought they would want me to go in and I wasn’t ever really listening to my inner voice.  I never thought my inner voice really had a say in it all.

I have come to realize that my inner voice is really the most important voice there is.  No one knows my wants and needs better than me.  Life is about enjoying a journey of happiness and in most cases when you listen to your inner voice…the happiness is soon to follow.  No matter what happens with my career choices throughout life, I will ALWAYS continue to write…whether it is in this blog, for a local newspaper, for a national newspaper or just for myself.  I will always express myself in written word (I believe) until my dying days…until my fingers are no longer able to hold a pen or click the keys on the keyboard.  I truly believe I have messages to send to the world and I do believe my voice needs to be heard.  My words may get jumbled and I may not always have a minute by minute itinerary but I do believe that the things I feel I need to express are not just important for me but important for the world.  I want to express myself and tell young girls/youth/teens to embrace who they are and not allow media and society to shape them or brainwash them into thinking that beauty means being anorexic or made of plastic.  I want to express the need for people to come together (and get past the ME ME ME syndrome) and put a stop to human trafficking, sex trades, child abuse, hate crimes, etc.  I would love to be the next Oprah but I do not require her money….I just want the platform….if the money came then I would plan to do as much work as possible to improve humanity (broad statement but true statement).  I am one person and cannot do it all myself but I do believe one person can make a big difference.

I do have fears and anxieties that hold me back in certain areas and I am working on them all of the time.  I KNOW we must face our fears and step out of our comfort zone if we want to see real results.  I am nervous to start a life that is so different from what I know with it being in a place that I do not know anyone and do not know my way around.  It would be a fresh start but it is also nerve racking and scary.  With all of the accomplishments and changes I have made in my life as of recently I know I can do it though…I just need to do my research and keep pushing myself harder and harder every day.

Well there you have it folks.  You all now know what I want to be when I grow up.  I have so many more things to accomplish in life and knowing how much determination I have I believe I can achieve them all (whether they be on small scales or giant levels).  So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?