Day 80 Question 80:

What did you dream of becoming when you were younger, and why?  If you did not become this, what do you think the reason is?

I am not one to have regrets or wish that I could go back in time and change things (ok well not very often at least).  I believe things happen the way they are meant to.  I believe we need to learn from our choices and our “mistakes” and we are meant to be where we are at at this very moment.

I am not unhappy with my life even a little bit.  I do sometimes think about what life would be like if I had done things different or chosen a different path (I think it is natural to think that way).  As young as being in elementary school I always held onto the dream of being a reporter/journalist.  As many of you know very well, I love to write and to express myself.  Sometimes my grammar is imperfect and I tend to avoid proofreading far too much but the passion is there and it is the one thing I KNOW I am good at.  I know I am able to express myself in a way that can catch a reader’s attention.  I discuss topics which I believe are relatable to a lot of people.

In remember in the 5^th grade we had an assignment where everyone in the class had to design the front cover of a newspaper.  This cover needed to include a newspaper name, articles and pictures.  The goal was to catch the attention of our fellow classmates.  The teacher wanted us to show creativity as well as do research on important topics.  Of course he was also making sure we were using correct grammar and punctuation.  When this assignment was due the teacher posted all of these newspaper covers in the hallway (there were about 22 kids in my class) outside of the classroom.  He decided (without us previously knowing this) to make this a contest.  We each had to go out into the hallway and review all of the newspaper cover designs and vote for which one we thought was the best.  The teacher made sure that we did not choose based on popularity or voted for our own or our friends (unless we really did think our friends was the best).  The teacher tallied up the votes and the next day the winner was announced.  To my complete and utter shock, I was announced the winner.  I remember my newspaper cover including a picture of an airplane with the roof being torn off (I am not exactly sure of what details I gave in the article) and another stories about zombies being found in a local neighborhood.  This was an assignment that I loved.  I put a lot of effort into it but the effort came easy because it was something I was interested…something that grabbed and held my attention.  Winning this contest meant everything to me at the time because it showed me that I was good at something…I was able to see that I really did have a natural talent.

Over the years I was always drawn to writing.  I did not always love writing assigned papers for classes but when a topic interested me I felt like I could write forever.  When I was young I had Christmas stories published in the local newspaper and when I was in college I wrote short stories that I still hold onto in a folder in my bedroom to this very day.  In middle school when we had to take Career Skills and we were asked (about 10,000 times) what we would like to do for a career, my answer always came back to reporting/journalism.

As you know I have not become a reporter/journalist.  I am not living a life of regrets of kicking myself every day because of it.  I would still love to work for a newspaper.  I would love to climb the ladder and become a well-known reporter that is able to report news pieces on so many topics/issues that I find of great importance.  I would love to have my name under an article title in a major newspaper on a daily/weekly basis.  I guess I just got stuck.  Life seemed to be on this timeline for so long and until fairly recently I was just walking around in circles and didn’t really know what I wanted my life to be.  I have dove into so many things that I love and have had amazing experiences in my life…I don’t doubt that I will always be doing something that I love.  The reason I am drawn to reporting/journalism is because no 2 days are ever the same.  There is non-stop opportunity to continue learning.  There is non-stop opportunity to meet new people and be exposed to different viewpoints.  It is a job that is never boring….a job filled with excitement and adventure.

I can’t give a solid answer as to why I did not pursue this passion in my younger years (who knows I may still pursue it—I am quite drive and age should not be a factor).  If I had to guess I would say it is because I was not living for me.  I grew up thinking that life needed to be a certain way.  I tended to be a follower in my younger years and now that I am older and have figured out life a lot more I have realized that I was destined to be a leader….it just required time to get to that conclusion.  I was (and still kind of am) a people pleaser.  I was choosing to do what I thought other people would want me to do or what I thought would make other people happy.  I wanted to please my parents (and I do not think there is anything wrong with that).  I went in directions in which I thought they would want me to go in and I wasn’t ever really listening to my inner voice.  I never thought my inner voice really had a say in it all.

I have come to realize that my inner voice is really the most important voice there is.  No one knows my wants and needs better than me.  Life is about enjoying a journey of happiness and in most cases when you listen to your inner voice…the happiness is soon to follow.  No matter what happens with my career choices throughout life, I will ALWAYS continue to write…whether it is in this blog, for a local newspaper, for a national newspaper or just for myself.  I will always express myself in written word (I believe) until my dying days…until my fingers are no longer able to hold a pen or click the keys on the keyboard.  I truly believe I have messages to send to the world and I do believe my voice needs to be heard.  My words may get jumbled and I may not always have a minute by minute itinerary but I do believe that the things I feel I need to express are not just important for me but important for the world.  I want to express myself and tell young girls/youth/teens to embrace who they are and not allow media and society to shape them or brainwash them into thinking that beauty means being anorexic or made of plastic.  I want to express the need for people to come together (and get past the ME ME ME syndrome) and put a stop to human trafficking, sex trades, child abuse, hate crimes, etc.  I would love to be the next Oprah but I do not require her money….I just want the platform….if the money came then I would plan to do as much work as possible to improve humanity (broad statement but true statement).  I am one person and cannot do it all myself but I do believe one person can make a big difference.

I do have fears and anxieties that hold me back in certain areas and I am working on them all of the time.  I KNOW we must face our fears and step out of our comfort zone if we want to see real results.  I am nervous to start a life that is so different from what I know with it being in a place that I do not know anyone and do not know my way around.  It would be a fresh start but it is also nerve racking and scary.  With all of the accomplishments and changes I have made in my life as of recently I know I can do it though…I just need to do my research and keep pushing myself harder and harder every day.

Well there you have it folks.  You all now know what I want to be when I grow up.  I have so many more things to accomplish in life and knowing how much determination I have I believe I can achieve them all (whether they be on small scales or giant levels).  So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?