It's a New Day…

Day 99 Question 99:

Are you happy?

I am one day away from entry 100.  Honestly, I was unsure if I would get this far but my determination has proven me wrong.  I have come to realize lately that I really am a person filled with great determination and strength.  I could not say that in the past.  Last night I was at the gym and I walked past some mirrors to do some weight training after I did my cardio.  I glanced at myself in the mirror and what I felt was something I have not felt in who knows long.  I did not detest what I saw.  I was actually very proud of myself because my strength and determination have made me proud…proud to see results from the hard work I have put in.  I do not looooove my body but most women don’t and most women will find flaws but I love this person I have become.  I feel like it has taken me quite a while to get here but I also think that it was supposed to.  I believe I was supposed to walk this rocky road to get to this place of contentment and self-love.  The answers were always there but I needed the journey in order to keep growing.  Right now I am the happiest in my life that I believe I have ever been.  I have no recollection of ever feeling this sort of euphoria and this natural state of peace.  It is truly amazing.  I am reaching goals that I once doubted myself on.  I am keeping my mind sharp by diving into books, documentaries, films…LIFE!!!  I ask a lot of questions nowadays…probably to the point of being annoying.  I find life and humanity so fascinating and there is .so much I want to do.  I may not accomplish everything in my years in this life but I know I will surely accomplish a lot.

There are so many lessons I have taken from this life.  I have found my likes and dislikes and I have found my voice.  I no longer bow down to the majority.  I hold my own when necessary with the ability to use tact and respect.  I have found my loves.  I have been finding myself…my strength…my happiness.  This is a beautiful gift to receive and I could only hope that everyone in this world were to be able to experience this kind of happiness.  It seems so natural and so deserving.  Everyone has this beauty and all of these gifts within themselves but some people never let them bubble up to the surface.  I was one of those people for a very long time because I was a puppet to society…I was allowing those that I thought had the power to control me.  Once I learned, accepted that the only person that controls my life is me…everything changed.

Yesterday while at the gym I read an article/piece titled: I Have Learned…  I wanted to share this piece in hopes that many of you have learned a lot of the same things and allow everyone the opportunity to add to the list.  I believe it is that seeking of knowledge and that seeking of self that allows us to experience true happiness.  Once we are able to love ourselves and to see all that we are able to offer to the world then we are able to experience peace and love.  Call me a hippie if you would like, but I now pass through almost every day and absorb my experiences and live for the moment as opposed to worrying about the past or concentrating strictly on the future.  I am able to literally stop and smell the roses or enjoy the life that is going on around me.  I would never want it to be any other way again because in my opinion this is the natural state of life…this is pure goodness and pure living.

I would love to hear your thoughts as always…on the subject at hand of on anything for that matter.  My friends near or far (whether in person or virtual) have been able to teach me and my appreciation goes far beyond your imagination.  I truly do hope that all of you are able to reach into yourselves and find your true happiness because regardless of what you think it is there.  I have put asterisks next to the ones that seem to be important in my life.  :0)

I have learned…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

**I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

**I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

**I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

**I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

**I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

**I’ve learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

**I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

DON’T HOPE…DECIDE!

Day 98 Question 98:

Do celebrities have a responsibility to be good role models for kids and teens?

This weekend I had dinner with my parents.  I have been spending more time with them lately because sometimes I slack and go far too long without seeing them.  I live only 10 minutes away from them so I don’t really have an excuse.  I am making a point to make time…life is moving really fast and I don’t want to have any regrets.

Anyhoooooo, as per usual my dad and I had some pretty passionate conversations.  He was telling me about how NY State is working on passing a bill allowing for a very in-depth sex education class in schools.  This class will discuss contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, alternative lifestyles, etc.  Apparently this class is going to be very IN YOUR FACE!  My dad seemed to not agree with this (even though he never specifically said it) and I am for this entire idea.  My dad and I are in agreement on one thing though when it comes to this issue…the main teaching of this subject should come from home.  Unfortunately this is rarely the case….for whatever the reason may be…too embarrassed to talk to kids about this, too busy, not sure what to say, etc.   In my opinion kids these days need In Your Face teaching if we want them to make good decisions.  Life is not always going to work out in their favor and we need to prepare kids for their and just be honest with them.  We live in a society where every team member gets a participating trophy.  I understand the concept of that because we don’t want any kids feeling bad or feeling left out but honestly (again, just my opinion) what are we teaching our kids?  Real life not does not work that way.  In life we have winners and losers and what it comes down to is teaching our kids to lose with dignity and to continue trying harder and harder.

With the question at hand it seems as if I have veered in a different direction (yes, real shocking for me huh..lol) but in truth so many things are tied together when we view the actions of people (children and adults alike).  Honestly, I believe, the media has taken over so much of this world and celebrities are the current “role models” for children/teens.  Now, the question is, whether these celebrities have a responsibility to be GOOD role models for children, teens and even adults.  Well, because of freedom of expression and their own belief systems they can do as they choose.  They do not have any obligation to act a certain way just because their career keeps them in the public spotlight all of the time.  With that being said, I do believe, that if they are decent human beings that they will ALWAYS TRY to be positive role models.

The definition of what a positive role model really is is going to differ for a lot of people…especially when it comes to celebrities.  We, as human beings, have so many different customs, traditions and values and if a celebrity withholds different values they may never be perceived as a good role model.  I have seen both good and horrible role models in the entertainment industry.  The problem is…there is no consequences for bad behavior.  Ok, let me tell you what I mean.  Michael Vick was found at his house and was responsible for the killing of many dogs.  He had dogs taking part in brutal vicious fights and he would even have some dogs hanging by chains.  I can only imagine what the entire scene looked like and who knows how long this was even taking place.  Well as many of you all know, Michael Vick is a NFL football player that makes millions of dollars every year.  In my opinion, he received a slap on the hand and received a mere 2 years (or actually I believe less) in jail and he is right back on the field playing football and collecting a very hefty check.  There are people that have “pirated” movies or music that have received much harsher sentences.  So, what kind of message are we giving to our kids?  Maybe Michael Vick is sorry but in my opinion he is being rewarded for disgraceful and disgusting actions.  I am not saying he should have never been allowed to play football again but I would have been much more convinced of his “rehabilitation” if I were to read about him doing a great deal of community service and making speeches declaring how truly sorry he was.  He needed to get his face out in the public and take ownership for his actions and tell people how wrong cruelty to animals is.  He didn’t do that (at least not that I saw).  Instead he got a slap on the hand and then a welcome back into the NFL.  Again, his personal life and public life should not have to be mixed but unfortunately they do.  Once you live the life of fame, your personal life is almost non-existent and every choice you make (bad and good) is going to be splattered all over the newspapers and magazines.  Celebrities don’t have to choose to be good role models but if they don’t want to look like no-good assholes they probably should at least try.

All adults should strive to be positive role models no matter what their “status” is.  I can’t state this enough, people are going to make mistakes and that is natural in life but it is so much better to take ownership of your mistakes and admit you are wrong than to make a million excuses and point fingers.  We are teaching our children nothing by doing this…well excuse me…we are teaching them ignorance and how to be manipulative.  I believe it is fine to be silly with your kids and have strong relationships.  I don’t think it is necessary to raise your kids military style in order for them to never cause problems or have issues in life.  I believe it is important to be a role model by showing kids what happiness is…showing kids what curiosity is….showing kids the importance of education and knowledge and always search for everything that interests them.  Being a good role model 100% of the time is impossible…we all make mistakes and make stupid choices in the heat of the moment.  To be a good role model is simple though…show love over hate, try to make the best decisions you can and if sometimes you don’t then apologize when needed or admit that you were wrong, explain that losing is not the end of the world and show to them that losing can actually end up making you stronger, allow your children to decide for themselves and show them all different sides of the issues (don’t force your children to think and act like you), encourage them to always do the best that they can and reward them when they are successful, show them what hard work is and allow them to help so they don’t form any mentality of entitlements.

Celebrities can live their lives as they choose.  Whether we like it or not they are a different breed of people.  They are the people that will always be in the spotlight and whether we like it or not they are the people that are children are looking up to and modeling their behaviors and choices from.  It is not their responsibility to be good role models but we hope they choose to take that route.  I have said it 1,000,000 times and now it time 1,000,001…it truly does take a village to raise a child.  I am not a parent but I am surrounded by children day in and day out and I am aware of how much my actions can influence them.  For parents out there, you are your child’s biggest hero…even if you have not made all of the right choices and maybe you are not proud of your actions, your child/children are absorbing everything that you do.  They are not aware that your actions are wrong.  As adults we need to constantly remind ourselves of this.  Kids don’t know right from wrong unless they are taught that and if you aren’t practicing what you preach then you are setting your children up for failure.  How is that fair?

As a person I have made some big mistakes in my life but from here on out I hope I can be looked at as a mentor and a role model.  People may not always agree with my views but my heart is filled with goodness and what matters to be the most is the happiness of other people whether big or small.

Day 97 Question 97:

What are some of your favorites?

I am making this a nice relaxing Sunday.  I am currently stretched out in my bed with my book lying next to me, ready to be read.  I was unsure of what I wanted to write about today and decided to keep it light since today should be a day of rest for most people.  I started thinking about all of my favorite things and thoughts I would list them.  What are yours?

Favorite Food: Red Curry from Indo Thai (The restaurant I work at)…chocolate is a close runner up.

Favorite Smell: The clean fresh smell right after it rains

Favorite Movie: The new 21 Jump Street is right up there for comedy but Life is Beautiful is my favorite drama (intense and what a beautiful story).

Favorite Animal: I don’t have a yellow lab now but I will have one one day….I love everything about them :0)

Favorite Holiday: It’s a tossup between Halloween and Thanksgiving.  I love to see people dressed up for Halloween…even the girls that look like prostitutes ;0)

Favorite Color: Emerald Green

Favorite TV Show: NO CONTEST-Modern Family (If you haven’t seen it go buy the DVDs now—soooo funny).

Favorite Song: Waste by Phish (Love Love Love It)

Favorite Book: The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama with The Power of Now coming very close in 2^nd.

Favorite Car: Old School Volkswagen Bug

I have many favorites in my life.  I could list thousands I am sure but I want to get back to my relaxation.  I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend and has been able to spend it with people they love.  See you tomorrow when we all head back to the grind.  :0)

Day 96 Question 96:

Does freedom of speech really exist?

I admit that I do not know the ins and outs of government and politics.  I admit that I am opinionated and sometimes my opinions can be completely wacky (according to some).  I do not have all of the solutions to make this world the best place it could possibly be.  There is something my dad said a long time ago that has stuck with me because it holds so much truth, “Even if there are just two people in the world, at some point there is going to be an argument.”  Well let’s add billions more people to that….OYE!!!

The First Amendment (yes, the very 1^st one) protects the right to freedom of religion and freedom of expression from government interference.  The more I think about this the more and more I see how it is something that is impossible.  As a population, I believe we are always being censored.  In a previous post I discussed how we are all needing to be so “politically correct” as not to offend anyone.  Where is the freedom in that?  What I am seeing is that people are able to express themselves freely as long as they are not offending anyone….as long as they are going with the majority.  I also find the term expression so vague.  Ok, the first thing that popped into my head was the education and how much teachers are really able to express to their children.  There is this really weird divide in this country (well there are lots of really weird divides to be honest).  I am originally from northern NY but I moved down to Myrtle Beach South Carolina almost 10 years ago.  I crossed that Mason Dixon line and it was if I was living a completely different kind of life.  In NY, teachers were not to ever touch their students (not a hug, a pat on the shoulder…nothing…well a handshake would be ok).  There were strict rules about this in order to protect the teachers from ever having any sort of lawsuits thrown against them for touching a child inappropriately.  In South Carolina, teachers can hold hands with their students, hug them, have them on their laps, etc.  This was something that was so strange to me and I was caught in a crossfire trying to decide which way I believed to be the right way to go.  I understood both points of view.  We are now living in a society where lawsuits are being thrown out every minute (hell people are suing McDonalds for making them fat…don’t even get me started) so I understand why the state of NY enforced such strict rules.  No teacher would want to be in the sort of position that could cost them their job or potentially land them in jail.  On the other hand, although I do not understand a lot of the customs of the South and even after 10 years I experience culture shock regularly, I do love the value they put on family.  When I say family I use the term in a manner that goes way outside of just mother, father, sister, brother.  The area in which I worked in a youth service organization was very poverty-stricken.  Many children came from broken homes and did not experience much love.  Teachers provided the love and support by showing the children that they were special (not in any inappropriate way).  If a child is NEVER hugged at home, I see no harm in a teacher hugging a student that he/she knows needs it desperately.  Everyone deserves affection and kindness in some way or another (again, not in any inappropriate way).  Again though, society has shifted so much, and because of the increase in pedophilia and child abduction/underage sex cases, we are no longer able to do this.

Freedom of expression is a weird thing.  There are so many fine lines.  In some cases I believe that people should express themselves as much as they choose but in others I believe people should use discretion and keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves.  Just my own personal thinking shows to me that freedom of expression is almost an impossible concept.  The First Amendment even discusses the separation between church and state.  In NY there was absolutely a separation.  Church and state were never brought together.  Religion was a matter in which people practiced what they believed in but it was not brought into any public domains.  Everyone was allowed to believe what they wished to believe but nothing was forced upon people.  I LOVED THAT!!!  Living down south is a completely different story.  I have heard God mentioned in several classrooms.  I have heard the mention of homosexuality being wrong in the school setting.  I have even witnessed school board meeting that started with a prayer.  Where is the separation of church and state there?  In all of these scenarios I became very uncomfortable because I felt like other people’s religious beliefs were being forced upon me and in my opinion that is wrong.  If someone chooses not to practice any form of religion that is their business and they should not have to feel uncomfortable attending a meeting where people are (again I say) forcing their religious beliefs on people.  I am not a practicing Buddhist but I believe in a lot of the philosophies of Buddhism.  In my time I don’t ever see Buddhist meditations or Buddhist prayers taking place before school board meetings or in the classroom.  How is that fair????

I started surfing the Internet looking for different news articles on Freedom of Expression and I wanted to share what I found.  Again, I am not highly educated on government and so much of everything I state is strictly opinion-based because of what I have personally experienced.  To some people I may be wrong and that is completely ok…because opposing viewpoints are what makes the world go around.  I would really love to hear input from other people though in order to expand my knowledge on the subject.  I find this world so fascinating and I am always looking for new information.  I hope you enjoy the article and are enjoying a beautiful weekend :0)

The firing of Brooke Harris: a teachable moment about free speech

Last month, Michigan teacher Brooke Harris was fired for allegedly helping students organize a ‘hoodie’ fundraiser for the family of Trayvon Martin. By all means, give Harris her job back. But let’s also support the free-speech rights of all of our teachers, not just the ones we agree with.

The Trayvon Martin case has claimed a new martyr. The first one was Martin, the Florida teenager gunned down on Feb. 26 by neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman. Now there’s Michigan teacher Brooke Harris, who was fired last month, allegedly for helping her 8th-grade students organize a fundraiser for Martin’s family.

Ms. Harris quickly became a cause célèbre on the Internet, where more than 200,000 people have signed a petition calling for her reinstatement. As the petition correctly noted, dismissals of this type “create an atmosphere of fear” in American schools. “We will not tolerate the silencing of our nation’s best teachers,” the petition declared.

RELATED: How to raise African-American boys like Trayvon Martin to be careful, not paranoid

But we do tolerate it, and increasingly so. Harris’s firing comes at a historic low point for teacher freedom in the United States. And most of us have stood idly by, because we don’t really believe that teachers should have freedom. Instead, we want them to echo our own views.

Consider the case of Jillian Caruso, who was fired from her Massapequa Park, N.Y., elementary school after her principal objected to a picture of George W. Bush that she displayed in her classroom during Bush’s 2004 re-election campaign. A member of the Republican National Committee, Ms. Caruso alleged that the principal – who was married to a Democratic state assemblyman – violated her First Amendment rights to free speech and association.

Caruso’s dismissal generated a few columns and blog posts from outraged Republicans. But from Democrats? Not a peep. Nor did I hear much protest – from any side of the aisle – when a federal jury ruled against Caruso in 2007.

In instructing the jury, the presiding judge emphasized that Caruso had freedom of speech in her capacity as a citizen, but not as a teacher. So she was free to support President Bush on her own time – and on her own dime – but not while she was in school.

Here the judge invoked the Supreme Court’s 2006 decision in Garcetti v. Ceballos, which said that public employees have no First Amendment rights when they are speaking as part of their “official duties.” The state hires employees to deliver a certain message, the court said, so it can also penalize those who deviate from it.

Since then, federal courts have used Garcetti to uphold the removal of an Indiana teacher who told her students she opposed the war in Iraq, and of an Ohio teacher who asked her class to report on examples from the American Library Association’s 100 “most frequently challenged” books. “The right to free speech…does not extend to the in-class curricular speech of teachers in primary and secondary schools,” the Ohio ruling flatly declared.

That’s a huge problem for anyone who cares about American democracy. Teachers do not simply work “for” the government; they’re supposed to help students learn how to function within it. So they also need to model the skills and habits that democracy demands, especially the ability to analyze and evaluate different points of view.

And they can’t do that if we prevent them from taking political positions themselves, as the famed civil libertarian Alexander Meiklejohn argued in 1938. “No one can teach an art which he is forbidden to practice,” Meiklejohn explained. “Slaves cannot teach freedom.”

But propagandists cannot teach it either, Meiklejohn warned. So while teachers had the right to express their own views, he argued, they also had the duty not to impose these beliefs in the classroom; their job was to teach how to think, not what to think.

“The teacher-advocate wants thinking done as the only proper way of arriving at conclusions,” Meiklejohn wrote. “The propagandist wants believing done, no matter what the road by which the belief is reached.”

So the real question isn’t whether a teacher should be able to articulate political beliefs in class, but why. If Jillian Caruso was simply trying to sway her students in favor of George W. Bush, her principal was right to intervene. But if she was attempting to teach them about Mr. Bush – and to form their own opinion of him – than she had every right to share hers.

THE MONITOR’S VIEW: Trayvon Martin case: What cities can learn

And that brings us back to Brooke Harris, who says that her students’ fundraising idea – to wear “hoodies” to school, in honor of Trayvon Martin’s garb on the day he died – came out of an editorial-writing assignment about the tragedy. As the students discussed it, it would be helpful to know whether Harris challenged their views. Or did she simply lead them to adopt hers?

Many students in the class were African-American, like Harris, and some of them reportedly had been stopped by police who thought they looked “suspicious” – the same term that George Zimmerman used to describe Trayvon Martin. All the more reason for their teacher to raise tough questions. When is it OK for police to suspect someone, and when is it not?

I would also hope that any such discussion would analyze Florida’s “stand your ground” law, and whether Zimmerman was acting within its bounds. And in America, remember, you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty. Shouldn’t Harris have also presented Zimmerman’s side of the story, so that students could arrive at their own conclusions?

I don’t know whether that happened. Indeed, any sentiment on behalf of Zimmerman might have provoked outrage from the same people who are now rallying to Harris’s side. And in the current environment, the outcome would likely be the same: She’d be fired.

So by all means, let’s make sure Brooke Harris gets to return to her classroom. But let’s resolve to support the free-speech rights of all of our teachers, not just the ones we agree with.

OPINION: Why George Zimmerman should not be ‘crucified’ for killing Trayvon Martin

Let’s also insist that they entertain every point of view, especially those they don’t share. If we muzzle our teachers, they really can’t teach democracy. And if they simply teach their own beliefs, our students won’t learn it.

Day 95 Question 95:

What is your relationship with your father like?  How do you view him?

Yesterday a very kind fellow blogger commented on one of my entries.  He told me that he would love to hear more about the relationship my father and I have in spite of all of our differences on major issues.  In his exact words he said, “how about highlighting all the political differences between you and your father, and detailing how you can still find GENUINE love and respect for each other. I’m just so tired of divisiveness in this country right now. There is a bitterness against the opposite party. I think it would be so refreshing to hear from somebody that can find love and peace, regardless of political differences, a real life example of it.”  There was NO WAY I could not accept this challenge.  Talk about something to sharpen my mind.

My dad is my hero.  He always has been and always will be.  I tend to talk easier and more freely with my mom but my dad and I have this unspoken connection.  As a little girl I was so close to my dad.  I would follow him around like a puppy and sit on his lap.  Nothing beats the memory of falling asleep in your parent’s bed and having your dad pick you up and carry you to your own bed.  I am biased because he is my dad and he dedicated a huge part of his life to raising me.  In growing older though I did realize there were a lot of divides when it came to different political/societal issues.  My dad was born in the late 1930’s and I was born in the last 1970’s.  That is a HUGE generation gap and times have changed so drastically.

So where do the differences lie between the two of us?  Well, my dad is not against change but he strongly believes that if something worked at one point then it is perfectly fine to continue doing it that same way.  I believe in continual change.  I love change.  I ache for change.  Obama may have preached it but I actually practice it (yes, that was a slam against Obama).  My dad is a die-hard Republican.  He is not much for women’s lib.  He is against abortion.  He believes in the death penalty.  He has always said he was pro-life (which always seem contradictory if you are against abortion but for the death-penalty).  He does not believe in teachers unions.  He could watch Bill O’Reilly 24 hours a day…well he does watch Fox News in excess.  He believes CNN is far too left-wing (which I find amusing because Fox News seems extremely Right-Wing to me).

I am the type of person that tries to look at things from every angle.  I try to understand where people are coming from and why they think as they do.  I believe we have become a nation of fighters and we have been too accustomed to arguing when we should instead choose more peaceful resolutions.  My dad thinks I am too much of a new generation “hippie”.  I meditate twice everyday and I believe in a lot of holistic healing.  I believe in the potential of there being a previous life and an after-life.  I keep my mind very open to everything because I believe there really aren’t a lot of solid answers in this world.

As you can see with how I have described the two of us we are very different.  My dad is solid in his view points and when he believes something he is completely sold…no ifs ands or buts about it!  I, on the other hand, can be easily swayed in different directions if someone educated me or shared their opinion that seems to make sense and seems very logical.

So, how is it that we still have a great relationship even through all of our differences and our mindsets?  Our relationship is solid because we don’t allow it to be any other way.  What I have learned about my dad and myself is that we convey our emotions very similarly.  Even though we may not always vocalize how we are feeling and tell people exactly how we are feeling about them (in a positive way) it is always something that is just known with us.  We both carry this kindness in each one of us and this caring about each other, our family and the world and there are no need for words.  We know this about each other and that is what makes our bond so special.  How could I not admire a man that stands up for what he believes in and is passionate about making the world a better place (even though I may not agree with all of his ideas).  I may debate him on certain topics but what right is it of mine to tell him he is wrong?  He may shrug his shoulders or give me a puzzled look when I go on a rant about something I am passionate about but he never tells me I am wrong.  I believe if society worked more in this way then we might be able to have a more peaceful nation.  Too many people work through their defensive nature and think in such a ME ME ME way, i.e. “I am right” or “Well this is how it should be”.  Too many people state these things with absolutely no backup.  We live in a world with great diversity and great opportunity to learn from each other but instead we choose to fight because everyone wants to be right (well not everybody but far too many people).

Maybe I am a dreamer (as I have said many times before) but if society could function in a manner like my dad and I do in our relationship of father and daughter then we might have a lot more agreement and a lot more resolution.  There are millions of teachable moments in the world and it is our ignorance and our selfishness that is letting these moments just pass us by.  My dad has taught me so much in this life and even if our hearts don’t feel the same thing, he is my mentor because he is giving me an opportunity to learn.  My dad is the person that has given me strength.  He will never be the enemy just because our opinions are different.  Imagine how boring the world would be if we all had the same viewpoints.

There are times when I will silently watch my dad without him even knowing and I will become amazed over how much of him is in me.  It is funny because I have a little bit of a closer relationship with my mom and my sister has a closer relationship with my dad but when it comes down to it I am more like my dad (passionate, outspoken, always thinking about world issues) and my sister is more like my mom (maternal, caring, kind, family-oriented).  Our dynamic works perfectly though.

I hope in a sense I have answered the question that my blogging friend had for me.  There are so many people I don’t understand and cannot relate to but because of those things I refuse to hold hatred against them.  Hate is not only a strong word but a strong emotion.  The peace I have come to embrace comes from the ability to look through the eyes of another.  I remind myself constantly that I have never walked in another person’s shoes EVER so before I judge or draw conclusions I need to either find out more information from them or remind myself that it is unfair to dislike someone if I know nothing about them.  People’s pasts would probably surprise a lot of people as well as allow people to understand others a whole lot more.  We are all shaped from different molds and I choose to use this to my advantage and learn from others.  Yes I will find people to be ignorant but again I try to be understanding because their knowledge may be different from mine.  I am not saying everyone has to think like this but I do believe that if people tried just a little bit more to understand that everyone has walked a different path and it is unfair to make snap judgments and assumptions, then we may have a lot less animosity and anger in this world.

I went a little off topic there…that is a little piece of my dad in me.  Anyhoooooo, I hope many of my readers have a parent that they can look at in a heroic way.  I am beyond lucky to have the parents that I do.  I would share them with everyone if I could because I find them to be such great people.  Everyone deserves the same love I have received.  To all of you, regardless of your points of views or your background or the path you have taken I still see goodness in all of you and that will never stop.  I hope all of you are able to embrace this beautiful thing we call life :0)

Day 94 Question 94:

Where is the luck in your life?

This is an odd question I know.  I think sometimes we tend to lose ourselves (some more than others) and we forget all about the many many many wonderful things in our lives.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately for different reasons.  Not every day of life is full of unicorns and butterflies but there is always the potential for good.  There is always opportunity to see the beauty that lies in the world around you…even in the hardest of times.

The reason I started thinking about this topic is because there is a woman I work with (I have discussed her in a previous blog) and she is a Debbie Downer.  Nothing in life is ever good enough and according to her she has never ever had a good day.  I worked with her last night and from the moment I walked in until we parted ways at the end of the night it was one complaint after another…and of course nothing was her fault.  The world is just a terrible place according to her and everyone is just out to get her.  As annoying as this is every time I work with her, it hit me last night, how lucky I really am.  Life is going to throw curveballs but I am still able to see so much of the good and that is where I put my main focus.  I am actually uncomfortable when I feel like I whine and bitch too much.  I believe that sort of toxicity can ruin the mood for an entire group of people.  I would not want to be responsible for bringing other people’s moods down.  That is just selfish.

As I have stated and will state in many of my entries, I do not claim to be “perfect”.  I am not even close to being perfect.  I just speak about things that I think are important because day to day society can become chaotic and I think we all just need to take a step back and look at all that we have.  The girl I work with has a daughter that loves her, she has a job, she has friends, she has a husband (although she doesn’t love him…she told me last night…he loves her…even through all of the abuse she takes from him), she lives less than 1 mile from the beach.  I know it is her life and probably none of my business but I wish so much she could see all of these amazing things in her life instead of bitching about ailment after ailment after ailment and how her husband has done something wrong yet again.  She really has no idea what true hardship is…at least that is my opinion.  Women in other countries are being killed daily just because of their gender.  Young girls in different parts of the world are being sold into sex-slavery and are having their virginity violently taken from them by men that are triple their age.  There are people all over the world that have no idea where they are going to sleep tonight or how they are going to feed their children…not all of these people are trying to better their lives but a lot are and a lot have just been dealt a bad hand.  I have worked with teenage mothers that although they have barely two nickels to rub together they feel blessed because of having a family.  The one simple thing called family made them feel that the world was a tolerable place.

I go through these phases in life where I focus on different subjects/topics.  I like to try to keep my mind sharp and I have this never-ending curiosity.  As of lately I have thrown myself into reading about the happenings in other countries.  When I started doing researched was when I realized how LUCKY I truly am.  I find it ignorant to take life for granted because I have a life that is a billion times better than so many others in this big world….and when I say better I am not implying I am better but my circumstances and my living situation is so much more acceptable and actually incredible in comparison to what so many others have to endure.  Also, do not get me wrong, I am not saying that the girl at the restaurant does not have her share of problems…my irritation comes from her ignorance.  I believe that if you are going to complain about one ailment after another and talk about how financially unstable you are then you probably should not be at the bar drinking heavily and smoking cigarettes 4-5 days a week (if not more).  In my opinion, you are a walking contradiction.  I feel lucky to have a better head on my shoulders and to be able to see my own faults and do everything to fix them whenever I can.

I feel lucky to have an extremely loving family that has taught me the importance of kindness and seeing the good over the bad as much as possible.  I feel lucky to be educated and to have the desire to learn and learn and learn some more…until my last breath.  I feel lucky to have experienced so much culture and diversity in my 33 years of life.  I feel lucky to have had people in my life that have helped me through the roughest of times.  I feel lucky to have so much laughter in my life.  I feel lucky to have scenic views almost everywhere I go and to have an appreciation for nature.  I could go on and on.

What really stirred this entry was something I was watching before the little porkchops that I watch woke up this morning.  There was an E Investigates story on television and it was about a family that went mysteriously missing.  The story itself was interesting but what kept peaking my interest was the host.  The host was Laura Ling (Lisa Ling’s sister).  This was the same woman/journalist that was that was captured and thrown in jail in North Korea and sentenced to 12 years of hard labor.  For several months Laura Ling and a fellow journalist were help in a North Korea prison under conditions that must have been unimaginable.  The two women probably ate very little and spent majority of their days in pain from the labor they had to do or just filthy from the lack of water and personal cleaning supplies.  The two reporters wandered into North Korea for a news story and were almost immediately captured.  Their intentions were to harm no one.  I can only imagine how terrifying this experience must have been for these two women…both physically and mentally.  The point I am trying to make is that Laura Ling endured this terrifying experience and came back stronger than ever after she returned to the United States.  She continued her passions in journalism and she was not going to let this experience take control of her life.  She returned feeling lucky to be alive and lucky to be able to be reunited with her family.  Through something so scary she still moved forward.  I wanted to share an article I found (if you are not very familiar with the story).

So tell me, where is there luck in your life?

Ling Sisters Recount Laura’s Capture In North Korea

On March 17, 2009, journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling were apprehended by North Korean soldiers while filming a documentary along the China-North Korea border. The two women were charged with illegal entry for crossing into North Korea — and after several months of interrogation by North Korean officials, sentenced to 12 years of hard labor in one of North Korea’s prison camps.

After finding out that Laura had been arrested in North Korea, Lisa Ling — Laura’s sister and a special correspondent on The Oprah Winfrey Show and CNN — started calling every diplomatic official she knew. She also contacted other journalists to publicize Laura’s ordeal. For several weeks, Lisa appeared on national media outlets alongside other family members as part of a campaign to bring the two journalists home.

In an interview with Fresh Air contributor Dave Davies, the sisters describe their dual experiences with Laura’s detention and release. They detail their infrequent phone conversations, in which Laura was able to tell Lisa that the only way she and Euna would be released was if a special envoy — former President Bill Clinton — traveled to Pyongyang to meet with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il. Clinton made the trip in August 2009, after Laura and Euna had spent 140 days in captivity, and helped secure their release.

On the story Laura Ling and Euna Lee were looking for at the China-North Korea border

Laura Ling: “We were covering a story about North Korean defectors, people who are fleeing the very desperate conditions in North Korea — mass starvation, a brutal dictatorship — and they’re crossing over into China. Now many of these defectors are women, and many of these women are trafficked into really horrendous situations in neighboring China. They are forced into marriages. They are lured into the prostitution industry. And because China does not regard North Korean defectors as refugees … they will send them back across the border to North Korea if they are caught. And that means that these people face certain punishment. They will be sent to North Korea’s notorious labor camps and possibly face torture or worse. That’s the story I was trying to bring to light for Current TV.”

On the local guide they hired to take them to the border

Laura Ling: “Foreign journalists who are working overseas often hire what we call fixers — local guides in the area who have worked with other media entities before to help them with the story. And this is a man we had hired who had previously seemed very cautious. And there were some actions that were in retrospect very suspicious. … We went to the river to film the thoroughfare where North Koreans are crossing into China. It was never our intention when we were there that morning to cross the [Tumen] River [that separates China and North Korea]. And our guide began making some low hooting noises across the border. … Now previously, our guide had told us that he had connections in North Korea. Our guide was involved in smuggling goods himself. And so, in my mind, I thought he was trying to make a connection with some of the border guards that he knew. He said in the past that he had taken some media to actually converse with some of these border guards on the other side. And he continued to walk closer to the North Korean side of the river and he got to the other side, stepped foot on the soil and motioned for us to follow him, which we did. We ended up on the other side of the border, and he pointed out safe houses where defectors are kept until they’re ready to be smuggled across the border. And really, it was about that time — we were not on the soil for more than a minute — when we knew we had to leave. And that’s when we turned back and walked back across the ice to the Chinese side.”

On what they initially told their captors

Laura Ling: “When we were initially caught, Euna had told our captors that we were students, that we were working on a documentary and were working on the piece about the border region and trade in the region. We knew that the subject we were covering — North Koreans fleeing these horrible conditions in their country — was not going to be looked upon well by our captors. And so we were hoping, while we were still on the border, that we might be able to convince them to send us back across the border to China. And that became very clear, after about 24 hours, that that was not going to happen.”

On Lisa’s reaction when she found out Laura had been detained

Lisa Ling: “I got a call at 2:30 in the morning on March 17 from my brother-in-law, Laura’s husband, Ian. And he said, ‘Laura has been abducted by North Korean border guards.’ And that just sent a complete shock through my system because Laura — there was never any intention to go anywhere near North Korea. Their assignment was to go to China and South Korea, so we were shocked. I knew the story they were covering, but I didn’t think they were going to get close to North Korea. So Ian and I immediately — I had Ian call our parents because we needed our mother to make contact with Chinese authorities in China, and she’s proficient in Mandarin — and I just started calling everyone in the diplomatic world that I knew. One of my first calls was to Richard Holbrooke, who was the U.S. special representative to Afghanistan and the most senior diplomat I know. And I wanted to get word to Secretary of State Clinton that this was happening. And one of the first calls we also made was to the chairman of Current TV, Laura’s employer, [former] Vice President Al Gore. Because we felt like, if this was going to become the international incident that we thought it could, we needed Vice President Gore to help us.”

On Laura’s reaction when she was sentenced to 12 years of hard labor

Laura Ling: “I had tried to prepare myself for a lengthy sentence but nothing could prepare me for the verdict, when I heard the words ’12 years.’ And it was after the judge said ’12 years,’ he said, ‘No forgiveness, no appeal.’ And that really cut into me, because all along I had been hoping that there might be the opportunity for an appeal despite the long sentence. And I was wondering if those words meant that the window of opportunity had closed and my fate was sealed.”

On former President Clinton’s arrival in North Korea

Lisa Ling: “We’re so used to seeing a jovial character, and when he descended off that plane, just to see that completely deadpan expression on his face was so out of the ordinary.”

Laura Ling: “And he later said that he, in fact, had to practice [his stoicism]. That Hillary and Chelsea had to coach him so that he could maintain that look of total stoicism. We also learned that there was a whole itinerary that the North Koreans wanted [President] Clinton and his team to attend, visits to various monuments — a whole stadium filled with child acrobatic performers. And they had to be careful to walk that line and not attend any of those events so as not to seem like they were being chummy with the North Koreans or the North Korean leader. … And I think they walked that line very well. They stuck to the mission at hand, which was to bring us home.”

Lisa Ling: “No money was exchanged and no diplomacy was conducted. It truly was a private humanitarian mission.”

Day 93 Question 93:

What is something that has taken you a long time to learn but you are glad that you have?

Sometimes I pick the most random of questions to answer for this blog.  A lot of the reason for this is because of what I have experienced just prior to throwing the question out there.  This morning I was chatting with a new friend and we started discussing relationships and the self and when I was answering I realized how different I have become…I believe in a good way.  What I realized that it has taken me a long time to truly learn about myself and learn who I really am.  I believe it is a process and some people find themselves earlier than others.  We all have this path in life and it helps us grow.  Even the hardships and stressful times have made the journey worth it because it has helped me figure out me just a little bit more.

I have been thinking about this a lot because of my father.  I love my father with everything in me and I find him to be fascinating and kind and generous.  I have just realized that over a lot of time I had conformed to his way of thinking.  I conformed without even realizing I was doing it.  My dad thinks I am odd and strange sometimes.  He doesn’t think I am weird in the sense like I practice Voo Doo or I eat strange, foreign things.  He doesn’t understand my way of thinking a lot.  I don’t always understand his either.  We are from VERY different generations.  My dad is a die-hard Republican and he will be until his very last breath.  I think he may have been a Republican leader in a past life.  Ok, there you go, me talking about a past life is something my dad would consider me strange for.  He doesn’t get into any of that kind of thing.  He doesn’t think about spirituality or processes such as meditation to clam the mind and body.  I read a lot about holistic healing and believe in striving for maintaining a peaceful state of mind as much as possible.  My dad would refer to me as a “Peace Loving Hippie”.  Don’t get me wrong, my dad is not a bad man with  ignorant ways of thinking.  In my opinion, he is brilliant.  He loves politics and believes in the continual improvement of this country.  He can spout off about taxes, Healthcare, and politics all day long.  We may not necessarily have the same take on everything but we certainly are both very passionate.

Ok, I have veered away from the original direction I was planning on going.  So this morning the conversation I was having started out by talking about a mutual friend.  This mutual friend is a female and she is a very nice person but when it comes to dating/relationships she has the tendency to get insecure and clingy (at least from an outsiders perspective).  She dated the person I was talking to and she dated my roommate at one time and both have mentioned her being insecure and clingy.  She is a really nice girl and it is so obvious she has a big heart and is all together a genuine person.  She is who I was probably a year or so ago (for as long as I can remember).  I wanted to find someone to be with and who knows….maybe settle down and get married….maybe start a family.  I realized that I was completely ignoring my wants and needs in life in my quest to find someone else.  It hit me like a ton of bricks one day that I had to love me first and always continue to do the things that make me happy and if someone comes along to join my journey then great but if not there are still over a million opportunities in life.  I am too much of a knowledge seeker and an adventurer to spend a majority of my time searching for something that may not even be the right fit in my life.  I believe that if the right person comes along that everything will come naturally.  Life has enough complications.  I don’t think searching for a relationship should be one of them.  I came into this world as one person and I will leave as one person.  All of the wonderful people in my life have been these amazing bonuses and I appreciate them for everything that they are and everything that they have taught me but in the end I have to always love myself and stay on the path of self-discovery and self-improvement.  No one will ever know exactly I am feeling or thinking except me so if I don’t love me to the absolute fullest then I find it impossible to love another.

So, the lesson that took me such a long time to learn was acceptance and love of self.  We live in this crazy world of media and parents that teach us this or that and teachers that educate us on various subjects and bosses that want us to do things their way so therefore conforming is almost natural for everyone at some point.  I have conformed in many ways and it took a long road to figure out where my morals and values really stood.  It took me time to figure out WHO I am (and I will continue figuring this out all of my life) and even better to embrace this person.  For the first time, probably since I was a very young child, I adore the person that I am and have become.  I truly believe that people that choose to have me in their life are lucky (and I do not mean to say that in a cocky, boasting fashion).  I have come to this clearing on my journey that has shown me comfort and peace…something I have needed for so long.  I have found this through writing, meditation and surrounding myself with people that are genuinely positive and happy majority of the time.  It is not easy to “drop” people from your life but sometimes it is necessary if you want to see improvements.  I could no longer surround myself with chronic complainers or people that talked the talk but never walked the walk.  I conformed before and I REFUSE to conform again…especially in that way.  I am too positive and I see too much beauty and opportunity in this world to become one of those people that only sees the problems in life.  Problems and stresses are inevitable but how they are handled is choice.  Screaming and throwing temper tantrums or treating people poorly is never going to get you head in life…it might for a minute or 2 but you definitely won’t be popular amongst most people.  I love people far too much to start burning bridges everywhere I go.  I have made mistakes in the past and I will continue to make mistakes and I will always do my best to correct them and to take ownership.  I am not the Oracle of all perfect knowledge on how to treat people but I have learned that there really aren’t many other options if you want to live a truly happy life.

Day 92 Question 92:

In what ways has technology changed you?

So I was originally going to answer this question yesterday but yesterday ended up being this crazy cluster-f**k of chaos and I needed to write about that.  This question stirred in my mind though and I knew I needed to answer it.

So, if you had a chance to read yesterdays entry (if not you really should because it’s juicy;) you know that my brand new computer pooped the bed.  The hard drive completely crapped out.  Luckily it is under warranty and luckily my old laptop is still functioning so I still have something to use while it is out for repair.  I started thinking about how dependent on technology I have become.  I am literally obsessed.  I can sadly admit that I have an addiction.  I feel lost without my laptop and my cell phone.  Thinking that then re-reading it makes me feel pretty yucky….I mean I am not torturing myself with guilt or anything but I have come to realize how much human contact I have lost because of all of this technology (and I definitely know I am not alone in this).

Technology is a necessity…especially in this day and age (well at least in this country-in other countries it may not be something that people even really think about).  We live in a society where computer knowledge is a must in order to advance.  Communication with others is primarily done through text messaging.  I have harped many times about how we are losing family values and relationships and human contact because of this boom in technology and I am a huge culprit that has yet to change my ways.  I surf on Facebook for far too many hours a day.  I have lengthy conversations with people via text.  Honestly, the idea of picking up the phone and calling people almost seems awkward and uncomfortable….isn’t that crazy????  In 2000, I lived in upstate NY and was in college.  I didn’t have a cell phone and I didn’t have my own personal computer….we all got through perfectly.  We called each other on landlines or just stopped at each other’s apartments.  Boy have times changed.  I have friends that I absolutely adore but because we have spent so much time texting I feel a little bit strange thinking about picking up the phone to call them to talk.

In thinking about all of this I realized that this is another revelation of mine….I MUST STEP OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE!!!!  If I do not want to be guilty of this then I have to take the necessary steps.  The one thing I loved about the “relationship” I had with the last guy I was dating is that he really wasn’t a texter…he preferred talking on the phone.  It felt more natural to me and I felt more comfortable with myself and the entire situation.  I feel that if I date someone I want to hear their voice….I do not want our entire conversation to happen through words on a tiny screen.  We are unable to convey any sort of emotion that way.  And how many times have you been completely lost in translation through this type of communication?

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t think technology is evil by any means.  I guess it could be but if used properly then it can do so much good.  For myself, I think (as sad as it sounds) that I have abused technology.  I became a conformist when it comes to technology and I have followed the crowd….and I hate conforming!!!!

So, with this being said, I have decided to give myself a challenge.  I will have to still use my laptop for school work and of course to continue with this blog but I am going to limit my time.  I am going to allot myself only a small amount of time everyday for Facebook or other social media-esque sites.  I will use the Internet for good….to learn more :0)  I have also decided to limit my texting everyday.  I cannot shut my phone off during the day in case my boss needed me for an emergency but I am going to try my hardest to shut my phone off every night from probably 7:30-10 and just spend that time with no technology (unless I have school work).  I want to use my time for reading more and actually writing with a pen and paper.  And where I am currently living the weather is beautiful 95% of the year…I want to be outside.  There is no excuse not to be outside or doing things that bring me to a peaceful place.  So starting today the challenge is on!

I wanted to include an interesting article I found on the subject as well (find it below).  And btw…are you addicted to technology (honestly)?

Relationships And Technology: Is Texting Ruining Romance?

“Can’t do this anymore. It’s over. You’re a fantastic woman — but I’m not the man for you. Call me?”

This is the way that The Daily Mail’s Mandy Appleyard recalls being unceremoniously dumped … through a text message. Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer’s relationship reportedly also ended this way, and one of this season’s “Bachelor” contestants recounted on-air how her ex-boyfriend had sent her a text welcoming her to “Dumpsville.” It appears that Appleyard’s digital breakup is far from unique. In fact, a new survey conducted by mobile phone site Recombu.com says that one in 10 people have been dumped via text, reported Digital Journal. The survey of 2,000-people also indicated that one-third of individuals in relationships say they’ve snooped in their partner’s inbox, and 25 percent of people confessed to using texts to illicitly flirt with people other than their partners.

 Though Appleyard admits to flirtatious texting herself, she says she generally views the text message as a lazy way to communicate with another person — especially someone that you’re involved with romantically. “The text is the pygmy of communication methods. It’s a Post-it note, a P.S. It’s minimum investment, minimum effort. It’s often cowardly — a way to avoid face-to-face contact,” she writes.

The piece asks a question many others have posed: Is technology eroding our relationships? According to the editor of Recombu.com, Hannah Bouckley, it isn’t — it’s merely reproducing behavior that existed before the era of texting and making it easier. As she told The Daily Mail:

It is easier to write a few words and then send it through a text and avoid confrontation … Texting is such a part of how we communicate as a whole now that it is natural that this will be used for something [relationship related].

While technology has certainly made it easier to avoid face-to-face confrontation and communication — often to the detriment of relationships — the news isn’t all bad. In some situations, texting can actually enhance romance. Eleven percent of people surveyed by Recombu.com said that they’d been asked out via text message, and some experts say that sexy texting can actually benefit a sexual relationship.

In the book “Firtexting,” authors Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz contend that “sexting,” the exchange of sexually explicit words and images via text, as well as less explicit flirtatious texting, has the power to enhance couples’ sexual connection. “When you’ve been with the same person for a while, what better way to spice up your relationship than with a fiery flirtext?” wrote Goldstein and Baniuszewicz. They also assert that couples can express sexual desires that through technology that they may not be discussing face-to-face.

Have you ever used texting to end, begin or spice up a relationship? Do you think technology is helping or hurting our romantic encounters?

Day 90 Question 90:

What is your take/opinion on sex education/contraception education in schools?

I am STILL reading the book Half the Sky.  It never usually takes me this long to get through a book but for the last month I have been going non-stop.  I pulled three doubles this past week and when I finally had a little free time it was spent working out or sleeping.  This book is phenomenal though.  The information contained within it has really given me perspective on my own life as well as the lives the girls/women all over the world lead.

I spent last Easter Sunday with my parents.  When I left their house, on my drive home I realized how different my dad and I are.  We have a great relationship and I love listening to how passionate he gets about certain issues and how he stands up for what he believes in but it hit me hard that day that we really don’t stand on the same ground when it comes to several issues.  I realized that all of my life I conformed to his values because he is my dad and it seemed like the right thing to do but one day I realized that there were many things that I felt very differently about than him.  I also realized there is a HUGE generation gap between us.  I am 33 and he will be 74 on May 1^st.  Society has changed so much and change is something my dad doesn’t take quite well.  He is not a big fan of women’s lib…..he steers so far to the right.  I sit pretty much right in the middle.  There are some issues I agree with the Republican take on and others that I agree with the Democrats.  I still think it is crazy how divided this country can be sometimes.

I am babbling on about all of this because in the book Half the Sky, one of the chapters discusses birth control.  In many countries birth control is not even an option or comes in very limited supply.  I started to reflect back on when I was working for a youth service organization.  One of my main job responsibilities was to teach Pregnancy Prevention and STD Education.  It was not an easy subject to talk about but the hardest part was only being allowed to “preach” ABSTINENCE ONLY!  I was not allowed to discuss contraception or birth control with the students.  The word condom could not even pass my lips.  Maybe I am one of these “new age kids” but come on….WAKE UP….kids are having sex younger and younger nowadays.  Why would we not educate them to be safe?  Why would we not remind them of the dangers of unprotected sex?  I have heard that people think by educating young people about sex that we are encouraging them to have sex.  Again, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES….a lot of them already are.  While working for this organization we put together a HUGE youth day that had booths and activities for youth/teens.  There was food and we had brought in a guest speaker from MTV made.  All of the youth could enter their names in a drawing to win a brand new laptop…they had to visit every booth and get a sticker in order to be part of the drawing.  When the time finally came for a drawing, a young lady’s name was pulled out of the bowl and wouldn’t you know that the winner of the laptop was a 17 year old junior that was 8 ½ months pregnant.  I had spoken to the girl prior to the drawing and sadly, this girl was unsure of who the father was.  What kind of message are we sending these kids if we are not teaching them the hard, cold facts?  We have become this country that must be so “politically correct” about everything and walk on eggshells to make sure that we don’t say one thing out of line that we are slowing ruining our children.  Maybe those are harsh words but in my opinion they are true.  No 16 or 17 year old girl is prepared to be a mother.  Hell, I am 33 years old and I don’t even know if I am prepared.  This is 2012, not 1950.  Dates consist of “makeout” parties where teens are being dared to have sex or perform in some sort of sexual activity.  When I was working with a class of 12-14 year olds, I did an anonymous survey and I found that 11 out of the 13 students had participated in some form of sexual activity.  THESE ARE 7^TH AND 8^TH GRADERS!!!  I used the word gynecologist in class and one girl had no idea what that was but she could potentially be one of the students taking part in sexual activity.

I think it is crucial for us to educate our children.  No I am not a parent but I have always believed that it takes a village to raise a child and I think it is time to give of the whole naïve act and the stop being so ignorant.

I have read so much on sex education in schools and the statistics of teen pregnancies and STD rates just blew me away.  I have always been an advocate of honest teaching…and by honest teaching I mean educating young people on what is REALLY going on in the world.  Why are we candy coating everything for them and protecting them from ever being hurt.  Of course we don’t want our kids to get hurt but they need to be able to take care of themselves.  We have made it so kids rely on adults to do everything for them and if they don’t get their way they throw a fit (trust me I used to be one of those kids).  The more we smother our kids and shelter them from the outside world the more damage we are doing.  Have you ever thought maybe this is the reason that so many people are on medication for anxiety or depression or are participating in regularly therapy sessions.  If we don’t teach them the truth, someone else with and that someone else might not teach them the right things.  I wanted to share an article I found very interesting…one thing that just jumped off the page at me was “The bill also allow schools to skip sex education entirely.”  I am literally sitting here shaking my head in disbelief.  Have we really become a country of people that could be that ignorant????  The more we shelter them the more they rebel.  If we don’t teach them the media will….and with what I have seen in the media…I don’t know how positive that outcome would be.  Here is the article:

Sex Education Update: The Good, the Bad, and Utah

Several states are passing laws that would prevent teaching sex education in the classroom.

It seems that some conservative legislators have declared open season on reproductive health lately (contraception and ultrasounds and sluts, oh my!). And now, they’re training their sights on the classroom.

The bad news first:

Utah lawmakers recently passed legislation that amounts to a gag rule on teaching sex education. Teachers in public schools would be barred from teaching about contraception, homosexuality, or anything else about sex—other than to say that teens shouldn’t have it before marriage.

If the bill becomes law, which looks likely, Utah would become the first state to ban the practice of teaching contraception as a means of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

The bill would also allow schools to skip sex education entirely. This is likely a terrible idea, given a recent Guttmacher Institute study that showed more teens who received no formal sex education had sex before the age of 20 than their educated peers.

Even abstinence-only education may be better than no education at all, the study authors said, because such programs often discuss contraception if only to emphasize their failure rates. Yet other research has shown abstinence-only programs to have no statistically significant effect on teen sexual activity.

Rep. Bill Wright, who sponsored the Utah bill, offered a strongly negative opinion on sex education.

“Why don’t we just be honest with them upfront that sex outside marriage is devastating?” he said.

But when about 95 percent of Americans have pre-marital sex, withholding information from teenagers on how to avoid life-changing consequences that can come with sexual activity seems like the height of dishonesty.

And Wisconsin legislators seem eager to join Utah’s educational irresponsibility club. There, Gov. Scott Walker is poised to sign legislation that would emphasize abstinence-only sex education and remove requirements to teach about contraception.

Now, some good news:

Fourth and fifth graders in Muskegon, Mich. public schools will learn about homosexuality and transgender issues as well as how sexual intercourse works. (The latter is reserved for fifth graders, though fourth graders will learn about sperm and eggs.)

“Many kids, the data show us, become sexually active in fifth, sixth grade,” said Isabel Blake-Evans, the district’s executive director of secondary education. “The whole premise behind this is to keep kids safe.”

The information about homosexuality and transgender issues will be used as part of diversity and anti-bullying instruction—hopefully making life a little easier for queer youth in Michigan.

Of course, Fox News’s ever-critical culture warriors didn’t take kindly to this news. Gretchen Carlson said that parents’ “power is being usurped by the school district” on these so-called “cultural issues.”

There’s great news for young adults, too: The Colorado Department of Public Health has started a program called BeforePlay, which encourages open discussion of pre-marital sex to help destigmatize it and reduce unintended pregnancy.

As Jezebel put it: “Wow, a government program that actually responds to pressing sex ed issues in a rational, accessible, non-preachy way!”

If other states take Colorado’s cue, the sexual health of young Americans might stand a fighting chance against some of these conservative attacks.

My dad is a conservative through and through.  I am not sure of his take on sex education in schools but I know he is Pro-Life all the way.  I, myself, don’t really like talking about the topic of abortion because it causes too much controversy but what I am always thinking about is that if young people were educated when it comes to sexual activity, contraception, birth control and STDs then there is a VERY good chance that we would see a significant drop in abortions and unwanted pregnancy.  It is terrifying to think about the number of girls that go to shady places to get these procedures done by some quack too.  Studies show that the human brain does not fully mature until around the age of 26 (I think it took my brain a little longer).  I believe we are all pre-wired to make stupid mistakes and make bad decisions but I also think that education is the key to preventing those bad decisions.

I chose this topic because it is important to me.  I am not a mother and who knows if I ever will be but I have always sworn that I would always be honest with my children.  I will love them with every part of my being but I must also show them what the world is really like…I think it is so vital to be honest.  I would hope in teaching my kids this way of thinking and letting them know that I am trying to make a difference that they will also want to pass on the same message.  In a way it is Paying It Forward.

I expect ridicule and I expect some negativity with this topic and as usual I welcome it with open arms.  Who knows, somebodies wisdom might just change my way of thinking.  As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.  :0)  I send out all of my life and the hope for you to have an amazing day!