Day 79 Question 79

 

Day 79 Question 79:

Why are you single?

Oh how I love this question…NOT REALLY!  I figured I would address this question because it has been asked of me more times than I can count.  No, I am not tooting my own horn by saying that.  I am a 33 year old fairly attractive woman so people feel the need to ask.  The other day my roommate and I were lounging around after the gym and he (he is 34 btw) was telling me about a girl he met and she is 36 years old, never been married with no kids.  He followed it up by pondering what could be wrong with her because of those facts.  I looked at him and said, “You do realize that people say the same thing about us right?”  He looked at me and just busted into laughter.  Apparently if you haven’t taken the plunge of marriage and children by a specific age then you are looked upon as a diseased creature….I mean something MUST be wrong with you.

I am single because it is my choice to be single.  Sure I would love a companion in my life but another person is never going to define me.  Having a boyfriend/being in a relationship is not going to define me.  Being married is not going to define me.  These things are not the end all be all of my existence.  Maybe I am single because I am stubborn and hard-headed ;0).  I spent many years of my life wallowing in my own self-pity.  I was too fat.  My teeth aren’t perfect.  I am not feminine enough.  I am not smart enough.  BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!  I don’t know when the turning point was but I finally got a big slap in the face and realized that my woes were just superficial.  If I was unable to see how amazing I am then how in the hell would anyone else see it.  I would be an asset to anyone’s life.  There are no if’s, and’s or but’s about it.  When I feel moments of self-doubt and self-pity I just turn on youtube videos about young girls being sold into sex slavery or women that have been disfigured by having acid thrown on their faces and I get over it pretty quickly.

I am single because I don’t want to settle.  People can tell me that I am picky all day long and my answer to that is, “why shouldn’t I be?”  If I want to potentially spend the rest of my life with someone (being married or not) shouldn’t I know for sure it is the right person.  I want someone that challenges me and someone I absolutely love to talk to….someone that makes me feel 100% comfortable.  I think when I am around men sometimes I am awkward.  I just don’t know how to be or how to act.  I don’t want to be phony and I don’t think I am but when you start having a conversation with someone and their eyes gaze in another direction and they blantantly act uninterested then I make no more effort.  I do not want to be the one on the dates that holds all of the conversations afloat.  I think when it is right with someone the conversation just comes naturally and very easily.  I have been on dates where it has taken both parties a little bit of time to warm up and the conversation started flowing easily but I have also been on dates where I would rather drive nails into my eyeballs then stay around the other person.  After 15+ years of dating it does not take long to figure out when you have met you UN-SOULMATE!

I could boast about myself and say that I am single because men are intimidated by my education or passion but I do not believe that to be the case.  Yes, I believe I can be intimidating to some people but just the same…some people can intimidate the hell out of me.  We are living in a time where dating and romance are drastically different than 40 years ago.  I think when it comes down to it I am an old soul that wants the story book romance and if that doesn’t happen then I want to still love life every single day.  I can experience different journeys all alone and love them or I can love them in the company of someone that I share my life with.  Either way I am going to choose to love life.  Love is something I cherish and I define it in a way that it should never be taken for granted to taken lightly.

I guess if anyone wants to know why I am single they can hunt up my exes and those that I have dated in the past and ask them all of the reasons I wasn’t “The One”.  While working at the restaurant last week I got to serve a table of golfers.  Of course they were all cutting up with me and hitting on me (yep, they were all married) and one of them said, “You are a cute girl with a good head on your shoulders, why are you single?”  My response was, “I don’t know but I feel sorry for all of the guys not dating me.”

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Thoughts, Writing | 26 Comments

Day 78 Question 78

Day 78 Question 78:

What world issue tugs at your heart strings/needs more world-wide/media attention?

There are issues all over the world.  It is unfortunate but this world is not a peaceful place.  Every day we are shown images of war and hear about a school shooting where innocent victims lose their lives.  I started reading a book called Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide.  I am only about ¼ of the way into the book and my heart has absolutely melted.  The first part of this book discusses human/sex trafficking of young women in countries such as Thailand and China.  I knew this was happening.  I know this is happening on the same land that I walk my feet on every single day.  I know it happens everywhere but I just did not know about the brutality and the covering up that was being done.

I am always talking about having choices and detesting the victim mentality but I must admit that there are exceptions.  There are so many women that are sold without having a choice.  Their free will is stripped from them and they are treated like objects…not human beings.  How does this happen?  I understand that desperate times call for desperate measures but how can an individual (a father, a mother, a brother, aunt, uncle, etc.) sell their young child for profit.  How can they knowingly allow their child to be raped, beaten and used in a way that makes them just want to die?  The thing that sickens me the most is how the issue is swept under the rug by law enforcement and the media.  There are women that voluntarily sell their bodies for profit in order to make ends meet but there are millions of young girls (as young as age 11) that are kidnapped and have all purity stripped from them against their will.  It is unimaginable to think of having your virginity taken away forcefully by a stranger.  Young girls grow up to know nothing of what real love is all about.  There is nothing normal or natural about human/sex trafficking and these young girls may never know that.

In the beginning of the book (Half the Sky) a story is being told about a young girl named Rath.  This young girls family was running very short on money so Rath decided to take a dishwashing job in Thailand (a distance from where her family lived).  Her family was very concerned for her safety but Rath reassured them that she was traveling with four friends and they would be fine.  They were not fine.  These young girls were all kidnapped and thrown into a brothel in the poverty-stricken, red-light district of Thailand.  I wanted to share an excerpt:

“Rath was shattered when what was happening dawned on her.  The boss locked her up with a customer, who tried to force her to have sex with him.  She fought back, enraging the customer.  “So the boss got angry and hit me in the face, first with one hand then with the other,” she remembers telling her story with simple resignation.  “The mark stayed on my face for two weeks.”  Then the boss and the other gangsters raped her and beat her with their fists.  “You have to serve the customers,” the boss told her as he punched her.  “If not we will beat you to death.  Do you want that?”  Rath stopped protesting, but she sobbed and refused to cooperate actively.  The boss forced her to take a pill; the gangsters called it the “happy drug” or the “shake drug”.  She doesn’t know exactly what it was, but it made her head shake and induced lethargy, happiness, and compliance for about an hour.  When she wasn’t drugged, Rath was teary and insufficiently compliant-she was required to beam happily at all customers-so the boss said he would waste no more time on her.  Rath then gave in.  The girls were forced to work in the brothel seven days a week, fifteen hours a day.  They were kept naked to make it more difficult for them to run away or to keep tips or other money, and they were forbidden to ask customer to use condoms.  They were battered until they smiled constantly and simulated joy at the sight of customers, because men would not pay as much for sex with girls with reddened eyes and haggard faces.  The girls were not allowed out on the street or paid a penny for their work.”

This is only one small excerpt from the book.  It absolutely made my skin crawl.  I am not a mother but all I kept thinking about was if I was and if this was my daughter.  What is my daughter were kidnapped and sold into a sex slave trade.  I even thought about it being me.  I can only imagine how horrific it must be.  I cannot imagine the mentality of these young girls.  These girls will be scarred for life and even if they are to escape these circumstances their lives will never be normal.  They have been accustomed to a life of fear.  They will constantly be looking over their shoulder waiting to be taken.  They will be haunted by nightmares of rape and beatings.

I don’t understand how such inhumane acts can occur and how the governments do not step up to the plate and get these women out of these brothels.  I know there is (as always) so much red tape and some women are there voluntarily and blah blah blah.  No woman should sell her body in this fashion.  I always want to be a part of the assistance and the aid in some way or another but in this case the problem is so huge that I am unsure of what the solution would be….hence why  am not a government official.  It breaks my heart though because these women are brought into the world never standing a chance for a decent life.  They are breeded like animals and are sold at young ages to have their bodies mutilated and taken advantage of.  How awful it must be to be born in certain countries.  I guess this is all these women know though.  I must share one last excerpt from the book-two journalists were crossing the border from India into Nepal:

“While sitting in the border shack, Nick began talking with one Indian OFFICER who spoke excellent English.  The man said he had been dispatched by the intelligence bureau to monitor the border.  “So what exactly are you monitoring?” Nick asked.  “We’re looking for terrorists or terror supplies,” said the man, who wasn’t monitoring anything very closely since one truck after another was driving past.  “After 9/11, we’ve tightened things up here.  And we’re also looking for smuggled or pirated goods.  If we find them we’ll confiscate them.”  “What about trafficked girls?” Nick asked.  “Are you keeping an eye out for them?  There must be a lot.”  “Oh, a lot, but we don’t worry about them.  There’s nothing you can do about them.”  The officer replied.  “Well, you could arrest the traffickers.  Isn’t trafficking girls as important as pirating DVDs?”  Nick asked.  The intelligence officer laughed genially and threw up his hands.  “Prostitution is inevitable.” He chuckled.  “There has always been prostitution in every country.  And what’s a young man going to do from the time when he turns eighteen until when he gets married at thirty?”  Nick replied, “Well, is the best solution really to kidnap Nepali girls and imprison them in Indian brothels?”  The officer shrugged unperturbed.  “It’s unfortunate.” He agreed.  “These girls are sacrificed so that we can have harmony in society.  So that the good girls can be safe.”

How very disheartening to read this words.  How awful is it that people have become so stone-like that they do not care what happens to an innocent human being.  It is all a game and these girls are the pawns.  It terrifies me to think about the things that the government just lets slide because they just don’t want to deal with it.  When the KONY 2012 campaign came out, of course like anything else, there was criticism.  People assumed that the creator of this campaign was just looking for publicity…meanwhile young children are being made into killing machines or are being killed themselves.  Children are sleeping in rooms piled wall to wall with other children.  They live in rags and are malnourished terribly.  I can only imagine how many diseases are floating among these young people.  I watched part of the mini-series called Human Trafficking and it was all about sex-trade and the American government getting involved trying to stop this crime ring.  The girls in the brothels became friends because all they had was each other.  Two girls in particular became very close and always confided in each other.  One of the girls grew very sick and the other told the “pimp” that she had to get medical attention because she was going to die if she didn’t.  He told her he would get her help.  He carried the sick girl out of the room dragged her into a room next door and shot and killed her.  He killed her like he was hunting an animal and felt absolutely no regret and no guilt.  How can people function like that?

I know this entry wasn’t my typical happy, inspirational type post but I felt it was something important to address.  I sometimes feel the NEED to bring awareness to certain issues and subjects.  I don’t have the answers but I have information and I feel like it is my job to share the information…because someone else might have the answer…or at least part of it.  I also wanted to share a website: http://www.skirball.org/half-the-sky  A friend of mine from high school scans my Facebook page from time to time and she knows my interests and the type of person that I am and she knew this would be something that would interest me.  Once I visited this site I bought the book and I have drowned in every word.  I share this with you in hopes to bring awareness.

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Day 77 Question 77

Day 77 Question 77:

What are some important things/people/events in your life that have shaped you into who you are to this very day?

I have been going back and forth about what to write about today.  Nothing in particular is standing out in my mind.  I have been thinking a lot about my life lately and how much I have changed.  I have revisited my past in my mind and traveled the journey to where I am now and see that the person I once was no longer exists.  I am glad about that.  I never hated who I was…I believe I was always true in form at the moment.  I have just found the me that I love and this is the person that I had been in search of for a very long time.  This me finally slapped the old me in the face and said, “Get it together.  You are not a victim.  Life is what you want it to be.  You have an endless amount of choices.  Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself and start living.”  I needed to stop living in the past and let all of the things that happened in the past control me.

I cannot pinpoint exact when this change of mindset occurred…it has been within the last 6 months.  For so long I held all of this resentment and anger toward events of my past and my actions of the past.  I decided to start talking to people.  I decided to start seeking out information and the knowledge of others on how they deal with their stresses and mishaps in life.  I threw myself into books and into my writing.  I found me!  It became the situation of all or nothing.  I gave myself an ultimatum.  I could step outside of my comfort zone and choose to accept everything about myself…the good and the bad…OR I could just continue living in misery…feeling sorry for myself and hating the person that I am.  The second was not an option.

I had enough of beating myself and questioning why things happened as they did.  They were happening as they were because of my mindset.  I really do believe that when you exude positivity it comes back to you tenfold.   But the same occurs when you exude negativity.  In a short period of time I read books that motivated me and made me take a long look at myself (The Power of Now, The Art of Happiness, Being Zen) and I started absorbing what I was reading.  I made the choice to start embracing the positive in my life and seeing EVERYTHING as an opportunity…even the hard stuff.  I wanted to be someone that others would want to be around because of the positivity that I give off.  I started thinking about the number of people I had in my life that I could not stand being around because all they did was spew negativity and I no longer wanted to be one of those people.

 It took me a long time to learn but I finally have…nothing good comes from anger, hatred, complaining, whining, etc.  All is does is deteriorate your health and brainwashes you to believe that your life is terrible and will never ever get better.  As I have gone on and on about in so many other entries, your life path is all of the choices that you make.  If you want to bitch and moan about how awful everything is in your life that is your right but don’t make others suffer.  You are the one choosing to be miserable when you could actually look at your situation in a whole different life.  The victim mentality gets really old really fast in my book.

I have not always been this person and by no means whatsoever do I feel or think that I am better than anyone.  I do not have all of the answers in life and I am going to screw up many more times in my life.  What I do know though is that we are what we want to be in this life.  Life is hard and full of obstacles and challenges and instead of giving up or just being lazy because we don’t want to do the work we should instead face the challenges and look at them as opportunities.  You don’t have to prove to anyone that you can do it…prove it to yourself!

I really haven’t answered the question at hand.  There are many things that have helped shaped the changes I have made in my life.  The main factor was my inner desire to want better for myself and the knowing what potential I have.  I was done wasting time.  Honestly, the last guy I dated pushed me over the edge (not in a bad way) and I knew when it ended that I was done with the pity party and I was done with this person that was so completely lost in life.  I decided that I was not going to just crawl into a hole and allow even more of me to die inside.  I was going to flourish and grow.  Yes, I chose to hibernate for a while and take time for just myself because that is what I knew I needed.  I didn’t feel bad about it.  I embraced this time to learn more about me and to love how different I am in mind, body and soul.  This time allowed me to make a mental shift and see that my body does not define me, my work does not define me, the superficial things do not define me.  I am this creature roaming the Earth that has more beauty than one can even imagine.  A kind of beauty that is not defined by shape, color, features, etc.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity I remind myself constantly that life is not defined by what other’s think, feel and see when it comes to me.  The only thing that matters is what I think and I think I am quite amazing.  I want EVERYONE to feel this way about themselves.

We are going to undoubtedly experience many hardships throughout our lives and with these hardships we will always have a choice in how we react to it.  Remember that you are your own definition.  You are not your job, your race, your gender or your religion.  You are what you feel and what you want yourself to be.  You are unique (yes we all are I know ;0).  Happiness is a choice.  Trust me when I say this.

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing | 21 Comments

Day 76 Question 76

Day 76 Question 76:

It’s been said that after they pass away, the most important people in our lives “live within us.” Is there anyone from your past that lives within you?

Throughout my life I have experienced many people pass away.  I have not had any gradparents alive for over 10 years…hell maybe even over 15 years.  My parents are older so unfortunately I got less time with my grandparents than I would have liked.  I loved all of them dearly but being the young ages that I was when they passed I didn’t get to appreciate them in the same way I probably would have as an adult…the way I appreciate my parents now that I am grown and have a sense of maturity and understanding of the world.  It is so funny when you are young so many people say, “You will understand when you are older,” or “You will thank me later (mainly parents when they are disciplining or saying no.”  It truly is amazing how much truth there is in those statements….how getting older and experiencing more of life how much you do understand where people are coming from.  You start to understand that your parents goal was not to make your life miserable.  Their goal was to protect you and help you make the best choices so you could have a good life.

I lost my grandmother (on my mom’s side) almost 20 years ago.  Out of all of my grandparents she was the one that held such a huge place in my heart.  I see so much of her in my mother and I think that is the reason my mom and I have such a close relationship.  My memories of my grandmother are a lot fewer than I wish they would be but the one’s I hold onto I know I will never forget.  She is the person that has passed that I believe lives within me.  Just like my mother, my grandmother was such a selfless woman.  She was silly and happy all day everyday (at least when I was around).  My grandmother loved so deeply within her and she made whoever she surrounded her with so comfortable and she would always bring the biggest smiles to everyone’s face…usually she was making everyone laugh.  She saw the good in people…even when they made mistakes.  I don’t know if I should even indulge this information (because there is not 100% solid proof) but family members were almost certain that my grandfather cheated on my grandmother in their younger years.  My mother told me that she knew about the affairs.  She loved my grandmother and she loved her three girls.  It is hard for me to swallow someone staying with a cheater but my grandmother believed in the vows that she took and didn’t think she just up and leave on account of one thing he did wrong when he had done so many things right.  I do not know the details.  I could be completely off base.  What I do know is that my grandmother was this beautiful woman that chose to give people the benefit of the doubt because she would rather love than fight.  She had this understanding that people make mistakes and have faults.  She was not a pushover…she knew the limits….but she was a fighter.  My grandmother took vows and she was going to honor them.  The relationship my grandparents had at the time that I knew them was that of complete, true and genuine love.  My grandmother adored my grandfather and my grandfather adored my grandmother.  If my grandfather did cheat in his earlier years he learned from it and he realized what a gem he had in my grandmother.

My grandfather passed away 20 years ago and when that happened my grandmother changed.  She was still loving but it became obvious that she was just going through the motions in life.  Part of her heart was now missing.  My grandmother died 8 months later and I still feel so strongly in me that she ultimately died of a broken heart.

I believe it is my grandmother that lives within me because I have so much love in me.  I feel it in the tips of my fingers and down to my gut.  I may become annoyed at things and not understand why people do as they do but I try my hardest to see the good in them and remember that our lives are not the same.  I believe my grandmother has guided me to be like this.  I am unsure of how I feel about God, religion, afterlife, etc. but I once had a dream that gave me a belief in something.  In this dream I was walking down a street in NY where I grew up.  I went up to this one house that had an enclosed porch.  I walked into the enclosed porch and when I went up to the main door to knock to be let inside I looked to my left and saw my grandmother sitting in a chair.  In my dream I knew she had passed away and my heart immediately started to pound.  She just looked at me and said, “I just want you to know I am doing ok.  I am really happy now.”  I stood there in silence.  It was as if my feet had lead poured straight into them and I couldn’t move.  I didn’t utter one word.  She told me she loved me and that was the last thing I remember.  I believe I woke up shortly after.

I have always been the type of person to try to hide a lot of emotions.  I did not want to cry or show sadness in front of people.  At funerals I held everything in…when the sadness and overwhelming emotion was bubbling up inside of me (I have no trouble expressing emotion now…if I need to cry I am going to cry).  I think my grandmother always sensed that about me and I don’t know the exact meaning of this dream but a part of me feels like she was giving me the message that all would be ok.  She wanted me to know I would be ok.  I will hold onto this dream until my last dying breath because it is something that gives me great hope.  It helps me lose some of the fear that I have had about the unknown.  Everything really will be ok.

I decided to write this entry today because last night I spent time with my parents.  I made them dinner and after we were finished my mother decided to go in the other room to watch The Waltons (she just loves that show-why I do not know…hahaha) so my dad and I sat at the table for about an hour and a half and just chatted about all kinds of different memories.  He reminded me of so many things from my childhood and different places we had been.  He told me things about family members that I did not know.  Those are the conversations I love having with my parents….they give me a greater insight into where I have come from.  I knew I had to write about someone in my family today…I was meant to.  I could not think of anyone better than my grandmother.  She was my little, adorable hero.  She stood only 5 feet tall but she was full of sass and humor and kindness and love.  She was the grandmother that so many people could only dream of.  She is the PERSON so many people should take lessons from…she understood what humanity should be like.  Even though I was only 13 when she passed away, she played a big part in shaping who I am as a person and I could not be more thankful.

If you could answer this same question, who would the person that has passed away be that has had a great influence on your life?

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing | 20 Comments

Day 75 Question 75

Day 75 Question 75:

Do you think that all people view love the same?

I touch on the topic of love a lot in my blog because to be honest I believe love is really all that there is…the one thing in the whole world that matters the most.  I, of course, do not believe everyone views love the same way.  There are different forms of love and intensities of love.  I believe there is something deeply rooted within all of us that is the same when it comes to the feeling of love but that is impossible to put into words.  With this entry I wanted to make my words short and share something I find so heart-warming.  I love to share the things that I find with others…it is like a game of give and take.  Plus I am heading to my parents house (the two people I love the most in this world) and I want to get there before too long.  I am making them dinner tonight (baked tilapia, red potatoes and grilled veggies-yummm).  I am 33 years old and my parents are 72 and 74.  My life gets really hectic and busy sometimes so I try to make a point to spend time with them when I have the chance.  Well I will no longer blabber on in my own words.  I hope you find this piece that I share as endearing as I did.  :0)

What Does Love Mean?

by Author Unknown

This is from a widely circulated email where the source is unknown:

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s Love.”

 Rebecca – age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

 Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

 Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs.”

Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

 Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.”

Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

 Nikka – age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears iteveryday.”

Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”

 Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”

Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”

 Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

 Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her oldclothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”

 Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you”

Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

 Mark – age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”

 Jessica – age 8

And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart.) The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

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Day 74 Question 74

Day 74 Question 74:

What are you grateful for?

Yesterday while I was at the gym and I was reading an article while trekking along on the elliptical (shocking I know).  The article was completely opinion-based and the woman that wrote is was discussing how it seems like tragedy, whether large or small, is what seems to make us realize as a society what we are grateful for.  She wasn’t speaking for everyone and she even said that a lot of people are grateful day in and day out but sometimes it takes a big bomb or a huge tragedy to stir our memories of what is truly important to us.  I would have to agree with her.  I wanted to include her article then include a little input of my own (yes, I am sure the entry will be long…you are welcome to stop reading if you choose…but I believe it is something worth the time and hope you choose to stay).  Here is her article then I will followup with my thoughts:

Back To Normal

Author: D Anthony, D-Rose Impressions, 10/01, (Revised 06/02)

* Excerpt from the motivational and inspirational book,

The Nurse in the Delivery Room Slapped Me… Once *

We have to get back to normal. That was the popular sentiment. From the President to countless dignitaries, self proclaimed grief and terrorism ‘experts’ and so many television reporters – everyone concurred the most effective way to respond to the horrific events of September 11, 2001 was to simply get back to normal.

On 9-11, America suffered a tragedy of few, if any, parallels. In a well organized plot, hijackers of four commercial planes managed to effectively transform them into fuel filled, flying weapons of mass destruction. The aftermath – two one hundred and ten story World Trade Center towers demolished, massive damage to the Pentagon, the fourth plane crashed in an open field, approximately three thousand suspected deaths, layoffs in numerous industries, declarations of war, a shaken economy, a shaken America.

The days after the tragedy saw astonishment give way to sorrow and anger… then national pride… then a sense of determination. And that steadfast determination could be heard just about everywhere… over the airwaves… from co-workers… from neighbors next door… “We can’t let this act change our lives… we have to get back to normal”.

We have to get back to normal…

I still remember that Tuesday like it was yesterday. What I remember is that as the tragic events of the day unfolded… somewhere between disbelief and grief something else happened. Our priorities changed. Work became significantly less important. People called family and friends to check on them – to let them know they were loved. People went home and talked to their kids. People hugged (I mean really hugged) their loved ones. People canceled unnecessary business trips. Families spent more time at home together. Church pews were occupied. Firefighters and policemen (and women) were recognized – hailed as heroes. We slowed down and focused on the truly important. We argued less and thought about people more. It seems we discovered just a taste of the way things used to be – what our grandparents, and even more their grandparents, meant by ‘normal’.

Maybe, just maybe life’s trials and tribulations are supposed to have purpose. What if these events exist for the purpose of presenting us with the opportunity of choice.

In response to these events we can choose to grow – or not. We can choose to search for meaning… to gain a little more perspective – or not. We can choose to recognize the blessings and people in our lives – or not. We can choose to appreciate each and every day – or not. We can choose to slow down… to spend more time on the truly important things in life – or not. We can choose to make a difference in the world – or not. We can choose to work less and play more – or not. We can choose to strengthen our faith and our compassion. While choosing not to forget, we can choose to funnel our energy… to grow.

Nine months later, and it seems the shift back is just about complete. The truth is most times our memories are of the short-term variety. When we experience pain, we hurt for a while, endeavor to get past it – then return to normal. Usually we forfeit our opportunity to grow.

One incredible story from September 11th is that of a young lady in her early thirties, working in the World Trade Center that fateful morning. Upon feeling the impact of the plane, she left her desk intending to vacate the building.

While making her descent down the stairwell along with others, an announcement came over the intercom. The damaged area had been secured and everyone could return to their offices. Ignoring the announcement, and others changing their direction – she listened only to the inner feeling telling her to get out. At about the fourth floor she felt rumbling. (What she felt was what we could only watch in horror on live television.) The building collapsed around her – and all she could do was ride the falling mass to the ground.

In darkness… in complete and eerie silence was where she found herself. Buried in the debris that was, only seconds ago, the world-renowned one hundred and ten-story World Trade Center Building (south). Was…

With a heavy object preventing movement of her lower body and no light or sound to speak of – she could only yell for help. Those calls went unheeded. By the next afternoon she was beginning to lose hope that
she would ever make it out alive. She prayed, asking God for a sign. She asked for anything that could offer her hope… anything that would give her the will to go on.
A short while later the sound of tapping cut through the darkness. She called out… someone responded. She managed to wiggle her hand through the debris above and a firefighter grabbed it. She was the last person to be rescued from the catastrophic scene.

Watching the still somewhat physically and emotionally shaken young woman tell her story from her hospital bed a couple months later, a tear made its way from my eye. And as the young lady thanked God for blessing her through a mixture of smiles and tears, I found myself wondering… I wondered to what degree her life had changed. I wondered whether she was concerned about getting back to normal. I wondered whether normal had taken on a whole new meaning in her life.

In the weeks following the tragedy, it seemed that our collective anxiety and shaken sense of security caused us to pause and re-evaluate our daily activities. Our pace slowed… our priorities shifted… loved ones knew they were loved… heroes were found in our midst… the simple things in life (concepts like family, compassion, trust, safety, sacrifice, time and love) became a little more important. Our priorities were in order. Home, once again, became the place where our hearts were.

Unfortunately however, time doesn’t compliment a short attention span. Thus since the weeks following the tragedy we’ve steadily regressed to our September 10th perspectives. Importance has again been superceded by urgency… home has again been superceded by work… reflection has again been superceded by trivial pursuits. We no longer speak to strangers on the street… we no longer hug (I mean really hug) loved ones. Our heroes, once again, can be found in stadiums and arenas. Time has become, once again, something we find on a watch.

Thus, while most other voices have quieted, I continue to call for us to get back to normal. But it’s not the normal of today, or of September 10th, for which we should be striving – it’s the normal our great-great-grandparents knew… the normal we were collectively well on our way to knowing in the latter part of September 2001.

I know that’s the way I want to live my life… and that’s the kind of world I want to live in. What about you?

Back to me: After reading this story the thoughts came rushing through my head and I kept thinking about all of the things I am so lucky to have in my life and all of the things I am thankful and grateful for.  I am beyond grateful that I have two parents that have never considered divorce and have been the biggest support system in my life (even if they didn’t always understand or agree with my choices).  I am grateful to have a sister that is one of my very best friends that I can always count on to make me laugh when I need it the most.  I am grateful to have good friends…they may not be in abundance but the one’s I do have mean the world to me and I try to let them know that as often as possible.  I am grateful I have had so many people in my life push me just that much more…it has made me grow in a way I never thought possible.  Believe it or not I am grateful for experiencing loss and experiencing pain and heartbreak because it has given me the opportunity to appreciate who I am and what I have so much more.  I am grateful for having a sense of determination and wanting to keep improving more and more every single day.  I am grateful for living in a place where I can enjoy the beauty and the sound of the ocean whenever I want.  I am grateful for my jobs and working for people that I absolutely adore.  I am grateful for my health…I am working to improve it every day.

The amount of things that I am grateful for far exceeds the amount of room I have to state them.  Life is this blessing that we are all given and we are all introduced to these lifestyles of chaos and busyness that we sometimes forget to take a step back and enjoy everything that we have.  If you are a parent and you are reading this…stop and take a moment to tell your kids that you love them (if they are grown and live far away then call them or email them a quick note).  Tell your bosses you appreciate them (even if you don’t love your job-remember you may never know where someone else’s anger or bitterness comes from) it could change their entire day around.  If you are a teenager or a young adult…even if your parents drive you crazy…take one mere moment to tell them you love them.  It is so true that no one is guaranteed tomorrow.  Trust me when I say that the older you get the more you understand where your parents are coming from (and if you do not have a good relationship with them…just think that maybe they are doing the best with the resources that they have).  Someone that you love can be taken from you in the blink of an eye and your entire world could be turned upside down.  In this life it is far too ease to take for granted all of the opportunities that we have.  I have to remind myself of this all of the time and I am taking the time right here and right now to remind you that showing how grateful you are does not only have to come in times of pain and hardship.  When you realize that your life is flying by at 150 miles per hour take a moment to stop…breathe in the air around you, soak up your surroundings, talk to your friends, spend time with your family….do something that makes you appreciate what life is offering all around you.

The video I am inserting below is titled The Spirit of Thanksgiving but I thought it would be perfect for today’s post because being grateful should not only come one day a year.

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Day 73 Question 73

Day 73 Question 73:

If you could write a book, what would it be about?  What would the title be?

I have wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember.  The problem being is my lack of focus.  I have focus sometimes but I can’t always seem to hold onto it.  I am so interested in sooooo many things that it can be hard for me to focus on only one.  I think that is why this blog has been such a godsend for me to be able to express myself….there is no order and absolutely no structure.  Hahaha.  Honestly, I would love to condense this blog and take my favorite and most meaningful pieces and put in in book format and send it out in hopes of it becoming a book that will sit on bookshelves all over the world.

If I were to write a book on a subject outside of this blog (well something more structured I mean) it would have to be a book geared mainly toward women and the topic at hand would have to be self-esteem.  I would not want it to be your typical book that would just tell you to love yourself and to tell yourself daily that you are beautiful.  I would write a book that would capture the reader’s attention and give them the opportunity to see that they are not alone in the world.  They are the owners of their destiny and fate.  I would want to write a book that could be relatable to thousands, maybe millions, maybe all women in some way or another.  My book would include stories shared by women of all ages, shapes, sizes, weights, colors, cultures, sexual orientation, etc.  I believe when we are exposed to other’s stories we are able to get a much greater perspective on our own lives.  We are able to appreciate what we have just a little bit more and we are able to build in ourselves a sense of compassion and empathy for others.

I think the topic of self-esteem is so important because I believe this is something that is affecting our world (and especially our women) in a very tragic way.  I believe people are losing their sense of identity nowadays because the media, our friends, our family, everyone is telling us how we should be and we no longer know who we are.  It is easy to lose the grip on ourselves but it is completely possible to get it back when we do.

I have to share a quick story.  I have a friend that I graduated high school with.  We have not seen each other in years and we were friends in high school but not sure close friends.  This girl was so kind and had such a great personality.  She was not part of the “popular” group and she definitely wasn’t a “nerd”.  She kind of just stayed in her middle ground but she was accepted and liked by all.  This girl was very easy to like because she just exuded positivity and kindness.  I found out about a year and a half ago that she had stage 4 colon cancer.  One month after being diagnosed, her father was also diagnosed with colon cancer.  He passed away 2 days ago.  She is in complete remission.  She has had a very long battle with chemotherapy treatment and pretty much not being mobile for the last year.  She has spent majority of the last year in the hospital.  What is truly amazing about this story is that right after being diagnosed she was married and her husband has stayed by her side the entire time.  I follow her Facebook updates and through all of the awful treatments and time in and out of the hospital and now losing her father, this girl has kept such a positive attitude.  I am sure everyday has not been easy for her.  I am sure there are days she just wished it was all over with because the suffering and the pain seemed unbearable but she pushed through.  She is (very obviously) a fighter.

My life keeps changing (I believe for the better) because of having people like this in my life and being exposed to stories that inspire me.  I am unsure of how I would deal with the same situation my friend had to go through.  She sounds like she has been way stronger than I ever could be…but I guess you have to be when something like this happens to you.  I guess what I always say is truth, “If you believe you are defeated then in fact you are defeated.”  It was in your face obvious that this high school friend of mine was NOT going to be defeated.

If I were to write a book I would want to interview and speak with women/people with all different kinds of backgrounds and I would want to share their stories.  The other day I was watching an episode of Modern Family (because I am obsessed with the show) and Manny (11 year old boy) was not invited to a party by his classmate because kids thought he was weird.  His uncle Mitchell sat down and talked to him and told him that when we are young we are all so desperate to fit in and it is almost as if overnight we all want to be different.  My book would want to be a message to the world to let everyone know what being different is ok.  Everyone has their own story to tell and even though you may not understand or be able to relate, the differences can teach you something you never knew before.  Differences should bring us together not push us apart.

I am unsure what my book title would be.  I have tossed around a couple of ideas and the one that keeps coming back full circle is: I Promise It Will All Be Ok.  This one sticks out so much because in my opinion it holds so much truth.  It has taken me 33 long years to find myself.  I have not found myself in full but I have discovered the person that had been hiding in the shadows for a very long time.  I hid behind a mask of insecurity and self-loathing.  That was never the true, genuine me.  That is never the true, genuine anyone.  My book to the world would allow women/people to evaluate themselves and be able to find how truly beautiful, special and unique they are.  It would allow them to throw away that person that was holding them back…their own mean, inner critic.  I think every one of us has this ugly, mean, self-criticizing demon inside of us (with some it is more apparent) but we don’t all know how to get rid of this nuisance.  My book would be a guide to love yourself (as cheesy as that might sound to some people).  It would not be step by step instructions of how to look in the mirror and love everything you see or love everything about yourself but instead it would be words written about every woman in the world.  Words written that all women can relate to in some way or another.  Words that would comfort women in knowing they are not alone in their journey and even through the hardest times there is always a light at the end of the tunnel…even if it is so very faint.  I believe everyone in the world deserves a fair chance to experience true happiness.  I know what it feels like to suffer and if I could be a part of the process in helping someone (or hopefully many others) ease their pain then there is nothing more that I could possibly ask for.

Posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing | 25 Comments

Day 72 Question 72

Day 72 Question 72:

What story/stories have you read recently that made an impact on you/moved you?

I love writing pretty much more than anything in the world.  Writing is the one thing that makes me feel most comfortable because I am able to express myself in truest form.  Today I decided to share the writings (4 of them-of you don’t have time to read them all at once please bookmark and return to them-I promise they are worth it) of others because these people have shared stories that truly moved me.  There comes a time(s) in our lives when we feel like the world is against us and everything is just falling apart.  During those times we also feel like there is no way to get back up.  We struggle.  We feel hopeless.  It has been awhile since I have felt this way but I know those times also come and go due to life circumstances.  Yesterday I went to the gym after work and I was trekking away on the elliptical as usual.  When I am on the elliptical I will usually read magazines or articles I printed from the Internet to potentially make me forget the tedious exercise task at hand ;0).  I started reading last night and while I was on the elliptical I had to hold back the tears from these two stories I am about the share.  I felt sadness but I felt a greater appreciation for my own life as well.  These two stories moved me in a way to truly believe that anything is possible.  We can do anything we just sometimes choose not to (because of laziness or fear).  I wanted to share these two stories with my readers because I felt that they needed recognition.  These stories are the epitome of selflessness.  I fell in love with the kindest of strangers and their willingness to forget about themselves just to brighten someone else’s life.  I hope you enjoy these 4 stories as much as I did.  :0)

Rick and Dick Hoyt: Team Hoyt

The inspiring story of Rick and Dick Hoyt (Team Hoyt) was originally published in Sports Illustrated. After reading this incredibly moving story of transformation between a father and his son, don’t miss the four-minute video of this amazing love story available here. May we all find inspiration both within and outside of ourselves every day to be the very best we can be.

Strongest Dad in the World

Rick Reilly for Sports Illustrated

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars – all in the same day.

Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much – except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

“He’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life,” Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. “Put him in an institution.”

But the Hoyts weren’t buying it. They noticed the way Rick’s eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. “No way,” Dick says he was told. “There’s nothing going on in his brain.”

“Tell him a joke,” Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? “Go Bruins!” And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, “Dad, I want to do that.”

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described “porker” who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. “Then it was me who was handicapped,” Dick says. “I was sore for two weeks.”

That day changed Rick’s life. “Dad,” he typed, “when we were running, it felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!”

And that sentence changed Dick’s life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

“No way,” Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren’t quite a single runner, and they weren’t quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway. Then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, “Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?”

How’s a guy who never learned to swim and hadn’t ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? “No way,” he says. Dick does it purely for “the awesome feeling” he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992 – only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don’t keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

“No question about it,” Rick types. “My dad is the Father of the Century.”

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. “If you hadn’t been in such great shape,” one doctor told him, “you probably would’ve died 15 years ago.”

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other’s life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father’s Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. “The thing I’d most like,” Rick types, “is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.”

The Cab Ride I’ll Never Forget

by Kent Nerburn

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers.”

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware—beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Something For Stevie—Dan Anderson

From Stories for a Faithful Heart by Alice Gray

I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn’t sure I wanted one. I wasn’t sure how my customers would react. Stevie was short, a little dumpy, with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Down syndrome.

I wasn’t worried about most of my trucker customers. Truckers don’t generally care who buses tables as long as the food is good and the pies are homemade. The ones who concerned me were the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded “truckstop germ;” and the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truckstop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie, so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.

I shouldn’t have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger. Within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truckstop mascot. After that I really didn’t care what the rest of the customers thought. He was a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table.

Our only problem was convincing him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus the dishes and glasses onto the cart and meticulously wipe the table with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.

Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truckstop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home.

That’s why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work. He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Down syndrome often have heart problems at an early age, so this wasn’t unexpected. There was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months. A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery and doing fine. Frannie, my head waitress, let out a war whoop and did a little dance the aisle when she heard the good news.

Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, grinned. “Okay, Frannie, what was that all about?” he asked. “We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay,” she responded. “I was wondering where he was,” said Belle. Frannie quickly told him and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie’s surgery, then sighed. “Yeah, I m glad he is going to be okay,” she said, “but I don’t know how he and his mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they’re barely getting by as it is.” Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables.

After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand a funny look on her face. “What’s up?” I asked. “That table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting,” she said, “this was folded and tucked under a coffee cup.” She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed “Something For Stevie.”

“Pony Pete also asked me what that dance was all about,” she said, “so I told him about Stevie and his mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this.” She handed me another paper napkin that had “Something For Stevie” scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply, “Truckers.”

That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work. His placement worker said he’s been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn’t matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. We met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.

Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn’t stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting. “Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast, “I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. “Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you two is on me. I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room. I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession.

We stopped in front of the big table; its surface covered with a mess of coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins. “First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess,” I said, trying to sound stern. Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had “Something for Stevie” printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table. Stevie stared at the money, then at dozens of napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it.

I turned to his mother. “There’s over $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. Happy Thanksgiving!” Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, too. But you know what’s funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table… best worker I ever hired.

 A Last Wish

Dear friends,

The touching story of Bopsy and a little boy’s last wish below is taken from the book Chicken Soup for the Soul, which is filled with wonderfully inspirational stories, but this one is extra special. And best of all, it’s true! Click on the link at the bottom of this page if you want to verify the story and learn more about how this little boy became the very first recipient of the now famous Make-A-Wish Foundation. May we all remember how precious life is, and how special the moment of death can be. Have a most wonderful day and weekend ahead!

With very best wishes,

Fred Burks for the WantToKnow.info team

The Littlest Firefighter

The 26-year-old mother stared down at her son who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible. The leukemia would see to that.

But she still wanted her son’s dreams to come true. She took her son’s hand and asked, “Bopsy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?”

“Mommy, I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.” Mom smiled back and said, “Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.”

Later that day she went to her local fire department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son’s final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her six-year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, “Look, we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!

“And if you’ll give us his sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat — not a toy one — with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They’re all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.”

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Bopsy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Bopsy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Bopsy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the paramedic’s van, and even the fire chief’s car. He was also videotaped for the local news program.

Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Bopsy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night in the hospital months later, all of Bopsy’s vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Bopsy had spent as a fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Bopsy as he made his transition. The chief replied, “We can do better than that. We’ll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? It’s just the fire department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to Bopsy’s third floor open window and five firefighters climbed up the ladder into Bopsy’s room. With his mother’s permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they loved him.

With his dying breath, Bopsy looked up at the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I really a fireman now?” “Yes, Bopsy, you are a fireman now,” the chief said. With those words, Bopsy smiled and closed his eyes one last time. He passed away later that evening.

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Day 71 Question 71

Day 71 Question 71:

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

Sometimes I just want to slow down.  I am at a stage in my life where I truly have acceptance and love for the person that I am.  It has taken me a LONG time to get here but now that I am here I am never leaving.  I embrace change…I actually love change because it allows you to step outside of your comfort zone and really grow.  I believe change is necessary in order for people to keep learning and thriving.

When it comes to change I believe we should hold onto our morals and values and all of those things that make us who we are.  I have been raised to be polite and have grown to be compassionate and those are two things I will never ever change about myself.  Change runs along the lines of conquering fears and wanting to practice different lifestyles.  Since I was little I have been overcome with nervousness.  I can’t pinpoint when this began or where it even stems from…I don’t really think that is important because that is the past…the past is an illusion.  To this day I still feel a nervous tension in me from time to time (it has subsided A LOT) since I started practicing meditation regularly.  A lot of this nervousness comes from always pushing myself 25 steps ahead.  The thing I want to and will change about myself is giving myself the clearance to just slow down.  I am not on the go 24 hours a day 7 days a week but sometimes my mind is.  I have this creativity that surges through my body and I get bazillions of ideas that come to me.  I want to do this and I want to do that and start this project or start that project or go here or go there.  Creativity is a beautiful thing but it must be something that comes naturally…it should never be forced.  I am the type of person that wants to get everything done quickly.  I don’t know why I am that way.  Procrastination has never been a concept in my life…if anything I would get projects done far in advance.  The problem though is that I have not let my creative juices flow naturally…and when I don’t allow myself that then my work suffers.  I live my life as if everything is on a timeline and I am slowly started to accept that not EVERYTHING needs to be on a timeline.  Reading The Power of Now  by Eckhart Tolle made me open my eyes and realize how important it is to embrace the NOW because that is all there is.  Even with this blog I sometimes catch myself thinking that I have to get it posted by a certain time everyday…I literally will have a whole conversation in my head in which I will say, “Well most people will log into Facebook at some point mid-afternoon and people are used to you posting at that time already.  Plus you will either be working at night or going to the gym after work and you will need to go home and shower and by the time you are done that I am sure you won’t want to write anything and if you don’t write anything then your blog won’t be what you said it was going to be (a question answered every day for 365 days).”  I started meditating because this is the kind of thinking that my mind would do.  I was focusing on the “What If”  all of the time.

I have been getting better with this.  Like I said, meditation has brought a sense of calm and ease within me and I know the more I practice, it will get better and better.  I have always been a results driven person.  I was always looking for an end-point.  What I am focusing on changing is no longer looking for the end point (i.e. finding my happiness, looking for love, etc.) but instead enjoying the journey because the journey is the actual answer.  When we are accustomed to being a certain way (from childhood) it is next to impossible to just flip a switch and change everything in one day.  Change is a process and it is something that you must really want.  I have found my happiness because I am slowly stopping the search for answers in everything.  Not everything in life needs and answer.  I do not need to know why everyone else do the things they do.  The change I want to make is in my perception so I am able to look at life from a different angle.  Instead of questioning people’s actions I want to accept them and work with their differences.  I cannot force others to change in order to make them fit my needs and I would not want someone to do that to me.  It may drive me nuts sometimes when I encounter people that are completely different from myself and do things in a manner in which I believe may be wrong but I am choosing to start seeing these things as opportunities to learn more about myself and more about the diversity of the world.

A lot of people in the world do not accept or embrace change.  We, as people, tend to get used to certain patterns and become monotonous because we are comfortable being a certain way.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with that.  What is most important is that people are living their lives in happiness.  I believe that if a person questions their happiness then that might be a sign that there is a need for change.  Change is not evil.  Change is not something that anyone should force you into.  Change could be something miniscule or something gigantic.  We all want to change something about ourselves.  I would find it hard to believe that there is one person on this planet that would not want to change one thing about themselves….whether it be physical, mental, emotional, educational, etc.  Yes,  I think it is VITAL to embrace who we are…”flaws” and all.  I am just curious to see what people would say if they were asked what they would change about themselves and why they want to change those things.  :0)

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Day 70 Question 70

Day 70 Question 70:

What recent news story made a pretty big impact on you?

In the news lately we have been hearing more and more often about various hate crimes that are taking place all over the nation (all over the world actually).  I was skipping through questions to possibly answer this week for my blog entries when I came across a headline on Yahoo News that caught my attention: Iraqi Woman Beaten to Death in California, Hate Crime Suspected (I inserted the article below along with a couple of other articles I think people should read to bring awareness to what is really going on in this country).

I am a person filled with love that tries my very best to treat everyone with respect.  By no means am I perfect and I admit that I have wrongly judged people or made politically incorrect comments in my day but the idea of hate crimes just absolutely baffles me.  I see EVERYONE in this world as equals because we are all human beings.  We all breathe the same air.  We all have a pulse.  We all have a beating heart in our chest.  We may vary in size, shape and color but we are all still people.  I look at people of different heritages and ethnicities and see an opportunity to learn and also an opportunity to educate.  Unfortunately, a lot of people around the world do not see things the way that I do.

In California and Iraqi woman was beaten to death in her own home with a note laying next to her lifeless body that said, “Go back to your country.”  She had received a vicious note just a week before in which she was called a terrorist.  She was the mother of 5 children and it was her 17 year old daughter that had to discover her mother lying in a pool of blood no longer alive.  I can’t wrap my brain around that kind of hatred.  Whoever is responsible for this crime I am sure never took into account the young children that would be suffering (emotionally/mentally) without their mother and how emotionally traumatizing it would be for one of them to find her severely beaten body.  It is nothing but pure selfishness and IGNORANCE!!!

9/11/2001 marks the date of when the Twin Towers were attacked and thousands of innocent Americans were killed.  This was an atrocious act of terrorism and YES the attackers were Muslim but they were Muslim extremists.  It is WRONG to blame an entire race of people for the actions of a few.  It is WRONG to call all Muslim people terrorists.  I work at a restaurant that employs people that are from Mexico, Thailand and Indonesia.  My boss (the owner) is a dear friend of mine.  She is originally from Indonesia and she was born and raised Muslim.  Our former sushi chef was also Muslim.  Never ever in a million years would either of these people perform terrorist acts.  My boss is one of the kindest people I have ever met and to be honest she takes greater pride in this country than most Americans that were born here.  It truly breaks my heart that people believe certain things that they do.  It breaks my heart that people can live with hate in their hearts and be ok with it.  It breaks my heart to think that violence is the answer for some people.  In my opinion, humanity is slowly turning into this place of selfishness and has this overlying tone of “ME ME ME”.  As people we need to do something about it.  I don’t have the answer but I share what I do in my blogs in order to throw it in people’s faces.

I don’t care what anyone says, there is absolutely NO excuse for hate crimes.  If you don’t like someone that is your business.  If you choose to be racist or prejudice that is your business too.  If you choose to harm or kill another person than you are making it the business of the public.  Maybe I am a dreamer but in my opinion, as American people (or people in general) we are a family and we should protect each other.  I am amazed at how much hatred occurs between the people of a country called the “UNITED” States.  Nowadays, there is nothing united about us.  We are people that are divided on almost every issue…whether it be politics, religion, parenting, education, etc.  We are a country that just enjoys and argument and it is sadly dividing us as people more and more every single day.

I expect ridicule and backlash for my thoughts.  I expect people to tell me that I am wrong.  People are entitled to that as I am entitled to my own opinion.  That is why I made the title of this blog: In My Opinion.  I don’t have all of the answers but I do know that treating people like they are below you is just wrong.  I do know that harming people strictly because of their race or creed is wrong.  I would love for someone to tell me differently and be able to back is up with a sophisticated argument.  I have my doubts that that would be possible.

I feel like this entry has a negative undertone and I feel like I am being kind of snippy and that is not my intention.  I am just sick and tired of looking at a newspaper, turning on the news or even just turning on my computer and seeing headlines everyday about someone/people being killed, tortured, beaten based on nothing
but superficial ignorance and hatred.  I am an American born white woman (and I guess being a woman I would be inferior in some people’s eyes).  I have gay friends.  I have black friends.  I have Muslim friends.  I have Mexican friends.  I have disabled friends.  I have young friends.  I have old friends.  I have deaf friends.  I wish more people would see the world through different lenses and just accept people.  If they choose not to like people then just keep that to themselves and accept that people are different.  People have a hard time with acceptance though (I understand it is not always an easy thing).  People have been born and raised to believe that the answer is to spout off at the mouth and to fight.  I am not saying people should always just keep their mouths shut but I believe we need to start educating children at a young age about tact, discretion and respect.  Too many adults these days are shitty role models for their children…just check out the 2nd video I posted below.  Remember while you watch that this woman is a mother (warning there is a lot of swearing).

I don’t have all of the answers on how to stop hate crimes.  I cannot change everyone’s minds and views on the world (I wouldn’t want to).  I just hate to see the direction our world is headed.  I feel like over time we should have started to move past racism and prejudice but it seems to be getting stronger and stronger every minute, every day and every year.  Please check out the news articles below and the videos I have posted and share them.  No, they are not easy topics to take in but there needs to be awareness.  If you are a parent I hope you teach your children about equality and teach them about humanity.  As people we need to start educating each other.  We need to take a stand and better ourselves.  Hatred (in my opinion) is unnatural.  It is a reflex for some people because that is what they were taught to know all while growing up.  We need to teach love.  Love is natural.  Acceptance is the right choice.  Kindness is the answer.  If you are unable to practice these things then keep to yourself.  Violence solves absolutely nothing.  This is something I know for certain.  Violence only causes more mass chaos.  Do you want to be the cause of mass chaos?

Iraqi Woman Beaten to Death in California, Hate Crime Suspected

By Olivia Katrandjian | ABC

A woman from Iraq who was found beaten, lying in a pool of blood in her in El Cajon, Calif., home next to a note saying “go back to your country,” has died and police are investigating her death as a possible a hate crime.

Shaima Alawadi’s  17-year-old daughter found her unconscious on the dining room floor of her home Wednesday. She was taken to the hospital and put on life support, but she was taken off life around 3 p.m. Saturday.

“Our understanding is that she was beaten and she was hit with some kind of a tool about 8 times in the head. She was knocked on the floor and was found in a pool of blood,” said Hanif Mohebi, the director of the San Diego chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

Alawadi was a 32-year-old mother of five children, ranging in age from eight to 17.

“A week ago they left a letter saying this is our country not yours you terrorist, and so my mom ignored that thinking it was just kids playing a prank,” Alawadi’s daughter, Fatima Al Himidi, told ABC News affiliate KGTV. “But the day they hit her, they left another note again, and it said the same thing.”

Al Himidi told KGTV the intruders did not steal anything from their home, and the only motive must have been hate.

“A hate crime is one of the possibilities, and we will be looking at that,” Lt. Mark Coit said, according to The Associated Press. “We don’t want to focus on only one issue and miss something else.”

Al Awadi immigrated to the United States from Iraq in the mid-1990s.

There is a large Iraqi population in El Cajon, Mohebi said, and its members often face “discriminatory hate incidents.”

“Our ultimate goal is that whoever did this is brought to justice,” Mohebi said.

Check out these links as well

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57403331-504083/three-men-plead-guilty-to-hate-crimes-charges-in-fatal-rundown-of-james-anderson/

http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/politics/2012/03/25/george-zimmerman-may-face-hate-crime-charge-for-florida-kililng/

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/03/jury-reaches-verdict-in-rutgers-spycam-trial/1



Posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Writing | 25 Comments