Day 105 Question 105:
Should gays be able to marry? Adopt children?
I have written a lot of entries with the subject being homosexuality and their rights. It is a subject I feel very passionately about and it is a subject that is constantly getting nationwide media attention. I have to answer this question straight out….ABSOLUTELY YES!!! This is a discussion I have had with my dad quite a few times and we do not agree on this subject. It is actually quite weird to me the way my dad thinks about it. About a week ago we were having dinner and the subject came up. We bantered back and forth and I know my dad gets flustered with my way of thinking sometimes….i.e. I don’t think marriage is the solution and just because 2 people have children does not mean they should have to get married. Well anyhow, my dad has no problem with people being gay (even though I know he would not love it if I were to come home and say I am…he would accept me though) but he does not believe that they should be able to get married. He believes that civil unions are fine for them but that marriage is meant for a man or a woman. I asked him, “According to who? The Bible? God?” He kind of sat there caught up in his words because like me, my dad is agnostic. He does not get wrapped up in religion and he stands pretty much on the same ground as I do. I pointed this out to him and he still just said it is meant for a man or a woman. It confused me how he was following the “rules” of the Bible (which in my opinion can and has been lost in translation for several years) but he is not at all a religious person. He believes that MAYBE there is some sort of higher power but there is not a God that he prays to or a church that he attends. Just like me he focuses on bettering himself and does not look to any higher power for guidance. I let him have his beliefs and we moved onto another subject. This topic still sat with me for a while though.
The day I was talking to my parents I told them that right now in my life I am really starting to feel balanced and I am starting to really understand who I am as a person. I know more about where I stand on the issues. The reason I know these things now is because I feel them. I know I know that sounds weird but I explained it to my parents by telling them that when I make decisions I go by what the feeling inside of me is telling me. My decisions though are strictly right for me….they may not be the right decisions for everyone. In every part of my being I feel that people are born gay. One of my dearest friends in the world is a gay male and one day I asked him outright if he believes that he was born gay and his answer was, “Without a doubt!” He told me that he knew that this was not something that was a choice for him….there was nothing that influenced him to “become gay”. He said he knew from when he was very young that he was attracted to boys. With how cruel this world is, I don’t believe that anyone would really choose to be gay.
With this being MY blog I HAVE to be completely honest in how I feel. What I feel makes up who I am. The way I feel brings me to a natural state of being….a place of absolute truth and genuineness. I believe in gay marriage and gay adoption because I believe all people on this earth deserve to be treated equal. We have the Constitution and all of this laws and regulations that state that this country represents freedom and equality but in truth it really does not. This country is made up of people picking and choosing what we can believe and what we can practice. No matter what the majority always rules. My very dear friend that I mentioned above is one of the best people I have ever met in my 33 years of life. This man would give the shirt of his back to a random stranger if he felt that they were in need. He has a kindness and a sincerity that draws people to him. I have told him time and time again that I wish more people in the world could be like him. He is positive, hilarious, intelligent and caring. I adore him with everything in me and even though he is 8 years younger than me, I look up to him. I admire all of his qualities and his strengths and I strive to be like him because he (in my eyes) continues to grow and becomes more and more successful as a person each and every time I see him. With all of this being said, I am disgusted that he is unable to have the same opportunities for marriage and potentially children that I do. This is a man that (hands down) would treat his partner with respect and love until death did them part. He would put straight couples to shame because he understands what it means to love someone and to treat them right. He should not be stripped of the joy of marriage simply because he chooses a partner of the same gender. Not allowing 2 people that are deeply in love to get married or potentially adopt children is just IGNORANT.
I shy away from religion so much for a variety of reasons. I find religion to have so many barriers and so many rules and limitations. I, myself, am a person that will accept people no matter what their race, creed, gender, status or sexual orientation is. Of course I have judged people and I will do it again many times before I die but I have never hated someone based on who they are or believed someone should be stripped of the same rights and priveledges that I have simply because we are two “different” people. I find that many religions tend to do this. I once passed by a church a few months back on my way to my parents. On the sign outside it read :GAY MARRIAGE MAY BE LEGAL IN VERMONT BUT IT IS STILL ILLEGAL IN THE BIBLE! I had to turn around and pass by it again to make sure I read it right. My idea of the church while I was growing up was a place of safety and security. The church was supposed to be this place where ANYONE could go and be welcome and receive no judgment. In becoming an adult I have found this to be a complete fantasy. I know I am stepping on some toes with these words and I know not all churches are like this….but I am having a hard time getting this bad taste out of my mouth.
It saddens me that we live in this world that is so far from being equal. I have decided to practice meditation and become heavily involved in the human services field because I want to be a part of the solution and not part of the problem. I may be only one voice but I want my voice to represent equality and love and drive to make this world just a little bit kinder. I am not saying everyone has to love everyone or understand everyone…it comes down to acceptance. You may believe that homosexuality is a “sin” but in truth all of us are sinners in some way or another. If no one is being harmed then just accept people. If you encounter gay people and they are doing nothing to hurt you, offend you or harm you then why not accept them….maybe even potentially befriend them….why not go out of your comfort zone and pride yourself on accepting even more people into your life and hope that you AND them live a long life of happiness and goodness. To me, it is that simple. People are people….happiness is the goal for all. Ignorance is the problem that is not allowing this goal to become a reality.
Again, I must state that my words are never meant to offend. I speak solely from my own feelings and my thoughts. I do not believe religion to be a bad thing at all. I actually admire those for having faith in their beliefs. It is something that (at least at this time in my life) is just not the right fit. What I am trying to do here is just express to people as a whole that we are all the same…we are all people….we all have air in our lungs and thoughts in our heads. Our differences should not drive us apart, they should bring us together. If we allowed ourselves to jump into the melting pot then we would be able to learn and to understand so much more than we ever have. I love to think about people asking questions just to learn about who someone else is and where they come from. I am well known for me super duper inquisitive…the amount of questions I ask could even potentially annoy people. I will always respect people if it gets to that point but it will not change my curiosity and my desire to know more about the world around me and the paths that others have walked. I hope these words have made you think….think about who you are and what you represent as a person. I have when you think about who you are, you are able to see kindness, compassion and empathy because it is these things that have the potential to make the world an even more beautiful place.
I wanted to just add a little sidenote here at the end. I don’t know if any of you have ever watched Modern Family or not. If you have not, please check it out somehow (you can find it on www.hulu.com). There is a gay couple (Cameron and Mitchell) that adopt a baby from Vietnam. The way their story is portrayed is awesome because the focus is strongly on them being a gay couple but just generally being a couple. It shows their ups and downs and their comedic twists and how well they work as two people. Their relationship is so strong and when you watch it (at least for me) you tend to forget that they are a gay couple. Regardless of that, it is a super awesome show and everyone should watch every single episode :0)