Day 104 Question 104:
When do you find time to reflect? What do you usually reflect about?
Reflection time! It is Sunday and I have found that sleeping a lot on Sundays comes with quite a bit of ease. My week is coming to an end and it is as if my body just wants to wind down and relax….and I accept that with pleasure. I am headed to the pool in a few minutes to get some sun and hopefully turn a shade of less than pastey like I currently am. I wanted to do a quick entry today because Sunday should hopefully be everyone’s downtime and it should be a time for ease of mind. I know that is not always the case but I do hope that everyone is able to have at least one day a week or every couple of weeks like that.
My time of reflection includes an absurd amount because as many of you have already guessed….my mind goes a mile a minute. This used to panic me and worry me but once I accepted this, I started to love this about myself. There are times when I wish my mind would slow down but if it chooses not to I use it as an opportunity to create as opposed to an opportunity to have an anxiety attack or get upset. This part of me is the most beautiful part of me because it allows me to give…to give in so many forms.
When I find time to reflect I think about the people in my life (my friends, my family, strangers I have met in random places) and I draw a curiosity in my mind about their lives. I wonder what they are thinking and feeling and I wonder if we share any of the same thoughts and feelings. I reflect on love and myself. I reflect on my true feelings and how my feelings constantly change on this subject. I am this fiercely independent person that wants to prove to herself that she can do anything on her own but I still have this part of me that has this love to share. I want to find my male counterpart….my best friend….and although I don’t think I want to ever get married….I want to share my life with this person and hope this person wants to share their life with me. I have these images of laughter and this ease between 2 people (one of them being myself) and feel that natural state of existence. Everything in life seems to be falling into place just perfectly (the way it is supposed to be) and the area of romantic love is currently on pause (which I am ok with).
When I find time to reflect I think about the person I was and who I am now and I see this transformation and this pride in how much I have pushed myself. No one but me has pushed me out of my comfort zone and because of this I have been able to experience the happiness that I always used to talk about. I write every single day and in the words on the paper I find myself. I see the artist that I am and I see the ease and the beauty in words and I have found yet another thing to love just that much more.
I didn’t want to make this entry too long because I wanted to enjoy the day and I wanted my readers to enjoy their day. I just wanted to pass on the opportunity for others to be able to reflect on their lives and themselves and I do hope so much that you are all able to see what beauty there is….even through some of the hardest parts. Life can see absolutely impossible sometimes and we can conjur up hatred and anger and it is hard to move past these things but it is possible…trust me I am proof of that. I lived a life that was unnecessarily miserable and when I figured out that my thoughts were my choice, I took complete control and in that small action the world became a completely different and beautiful place. I hope the same for all of you. I may not know you but I hope you do not have to experience pain or heart-ache….and if you do I hope it is minimal and isn’t something that controls you. I hope whatever you reflect on makes you smile and gives you that feeling that all in life is good. :0)
Have a wonderful Sunday All :0)