What is love?
My parents are in New York visiting my sister (I am in South Carolina) and we all decided to Skype today. The entire time that we were talking to each other, my mom and my sister were bickering back and forth. My mom said my sister was mean to her and my sister talked about how my mom instigated arguments. I listened to them and thought to myself how I had been in that same place just a few years ago. It bothered me seeing them argue but I didn’t say anything out of fear that one of them would think I was choosing sides. I understood where both were coming from but I also saw the changes that “should” be made by both parties to improve their relationship before it is too late. I am far from perfect and in the past I spent far too much time and energy on being angry and screaming at my mother because she looked at me the wrong way or because I felt like she was instigating and argument. I can’t tell you the day it happened but I changed. I stopped seeing all of the things that annoyed me and bothered me and I started seeing all of the things I love.
Love is unconditional acceptance of another human being no matter what flaws they may have or how much they might drive you crazy sometimes. Love is not a concept but a feeling. Love is putting yourself in another person’s shoes to try to understand where they are coming from before choosing to judge their thoughts or actions. Love is wanting only good things to happen for another person. Love is having a fear of losing someone because you are unsure how you will survive if they are no longer a part of your physical life. Love is helping someone through heartache and pain and experiencing sadness yourself because you cannot stand the thought of that person hurting. True love is being empathetic and compassionate and having a willingness…not not a willingness but a wanting for another person to experience optimal health and great success throughout their life. True love does not have to be a romantic love. True love is a feeling outside of yourself…..the willingness to give up your own happiness just so another person can experience their own happiness…even if it is short-lived.
Love has become this concept that has been sensationalized in a way that has made it nothing but generic in the eyes of the masses. I have fallen prey to this social stereotype. I have given up on love more times than I can count because I have yet to experience the fairytale that I have witnessed in dozens of romantic comedies. It took me 33 years and many tumbles and heartaches to realize that love is all around me…I just need to focus my eyes a little better. Real, honest and sincere love does not make you question yourself or make you feel bad mentally of physically. I have listened to so many women (myself included many times in the past) talk about different guys and how he did this or that and made them feel horrible yet they still return to relationships that are made up of nothing but chaos and dysfunction. Love is not something you question….when you know you know. Real love makes you better not bitter. I may still be single at the age of 34 but love is something I will never give up on because I think it is the most important thing in this life…..and in every life before and after. I think love is the only thing that could possibly save this sinking planet and bandage up the wounds caused by such great anger and disagreement. I am a dreamer yes and it is what I love about myself because one million times over I would rather carry love in my heart all day everyday over anger, hatred or sadness.
I do not follow religion….I question religion. I do not have a specific set of beliefs but my mind is always open. With that being said, there is a verse in the Bible (as cliché as it may have been made over the past few years) that holds such great truth in terms of the real meaning of love. I speak of Corinthians 13:4–8a.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
To whomever has chosen to read my words I ask you to take these thoughts and ideas in and study your own life. I hope your life is filled with great love and if it is not I hope that you find a way through the darkness into the light and see the love that surrounds you each and every day.
So good to see you back again Diane and discovering yourself a little more xx
am trusting but life is taking it’s time 🙂
I love what you’ve written. I decided to Blog because I’m told I should write a book about my life; you are contemplative, much like myself. Looking at yourself in the mirror…looking at your life and being self reflective is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Life is about learning from your experiences…the good and the bad. With every bad relationship I’ve had I have opted to look at what I can learn from that horrible experience. I am in a loving, committed relationship with my husband of now 11 years…12 if you count our dating. I enjoyed reading your story…I’ll be sure to read more.
We argued the whole time? (Not upset I just didn’t think so) we talked about it for a moment. No worries.