Some Things to Ponder…

I have made progress!  I have pushed myself…even when I wanted to just lie in bed all day.  I measured myself on January 22^nd and since the scale doesn’t move much for me I decided to measure myself today to see if the work I had been doing was paying off at all.  Well, after the unveiling of the numbers I have lost 6 inches in a matter of 11 days (probably more since I had started the journey even before that).  The hard work is paying off and I feel great….not only physically but mentally and to be honest I prefer the mental health benefits over the physical health benefits by far.  This journey thus far has shown me what I am capable of and the drive I have within me.  I, of course, still have more changes to be made (eliminating a lot of processed food—even if it is Lean Cuisine 😉 but in this moment I would like to bask in my achievement.  I want to tell my readers that their struggle does not need to be a struggle but instead a challenge.  I mean who doesn’t love a good challenge?  Who doesn’t love reaching a goal that we never thought was possible?

I have heard a quote by Kate Moss over and over again and she said at one time, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”  These 7 little words disgust me.  Young girls will stand in the mirror dissecting every inch of their body and long to be thin without knowing that it is far more important to be healthy…plus Kate Moss has been known to put some white powder up her nose (and yes there is photographic proof) from time to time…is this really someone we should be listening to?  Sorry, she may be a nice person and maybe she has obtained a healthier lifestyle now but those 7 little words have been engraved in the minds of not thousands but millions of women all over the world and those 7 little words have caused women so much pain and suffering caused by anorexia, bulimia and mental anguish due to the hatred of their own bodies.  I am a curvy woman.  I am 5’8 and the lowest weight I ever got to was 137lbs and I still had curves and heavier thighs.  I have been a yo yo on the scale since I was a pre-teen (or I guess the modern day term is tween).  When I was 137 lbs (I was 20 years old) I was starving and I still looked in the mirror and was unsatisfied.  My father never told me until recently that during that time he was worried about me because I was starting to look sunken in the face and chest bone.  I never saw that though….I would never be thin enough.  I am 34 years old now and for the first time I am at peace with my body.  I do not LOVE my body but I am ok with the imperfections that I know I will carry with me through life.  I now know that my body does not define me….it is simply my home that needs to be nourished properly….so I am able to live a long life and accomplish all of those other things that DO define me.  I posed these questions to myself and I wanted to pose them to my readers…especially those that are going through the same struggles (I am going to submit them in an upcoming entry—I wanted to give my friends on this journey the chance to think about these things).  I think it is important to see the “problem” for what it is and see what you are truly feeling before you make any changes.  We can say we are going to change but if our heart isn’t in it then those are simply just words.

1)      What is your goal?

2)      Is that goal realistic? (Don’t answer quickly, think about this question)

3)      If that goal is realistic, how do you plan on reaching it?

4)      What has set you back in the past?  Why have you “failed” (for lack of a better word)?

5)      What scares you?

6)      Do you believe you can do it?  Why or why not?

7)      What are your weaknesses?  What do you struggle with then trying to lose weight/get healthy?

8)      Do you love yourself?  Why or why not?

9)      In your opinion, what does it mean to be beautiful?

10)  Do you have a strong support system?  If not, why?

I posed all of these questions because I think they all tie into the way we see ourselves.  When we answer these questions with brutal honesty we are able to see how we view ourselves…and sometimes that view can be a really ugly one.  I know every person on this earth has beauty within them (with some it is hidden behind ugly behaviors).  Until I came to grips with how I really saw myself I was unable to make any changes….I was living in a box wrapped with chains.  No one should have to confine themselves because they hate the way they look.  With that being said, the media and societal pressure to look a certain way does not make it easy for many to hold their heads high with confidence.  I guess I am old-fashioned in ways and I don’t understand how society has turned so superficial….how a person’s looks have become more important than their depth.  I guess that is why I am here.  I am not only reaching my hand out to any and all of those people that need words of encouragement or support but I am also reminding myself that what I look like will never hold a candle to who I am!