Day 341 Question 341:

Where do you go for inspiration?

It is inevitable that throughout this life we are going to struggle.  There are people out there that are not going to like us for whatever rhyme or reason but we must keep moving forward.  I struggled for a very long time trying to find myself but I was never really lost….I just needed to dig deeper to find my passions and to learn to accept like and circumstances for what they are.  I needed to accept that there are people that I was never going to feel comfortable with and that was a signal that those people do not need to be a part of my life and that is not a bad thing.  My body reacts according to nature.  If I cannot accept what I feel then I am not truly living.  Feeling sadness and anger and frustration are natural to the cycle of life…we are presented with too much every day to not feel these things.  What is important though is how we react to these emotions.  Do we allow the anger to control us and then load the gun and take off or do we reach out for comfort?  Do we reach out to more than one person when we feel like the first, second or even third person wasn’t listening?  I know the feeling of not being seen.  I am always wondering if what goes on in my head is at all similar to what goes on in other peoples.  I sometimes have the urge to scream at the top of my lungs “LISTEN TO ME” but doing that does not mean I will be heard.  I appreciate the bonds I have with certain people in a much different way than I used to because I have learned the difference between forced relationships and natural relationships.  I want to say that I know I am different but then I remember that normal is only something that can be personally defined and I don’t want to be normal because to me that equates to being boring.  Strike me dead in this moment if I ever choose to just live the dull life because I grew sick of living and even trying.  I love my individuality and I will do everything in my power to grasp onto it with my tightest grip until the last breath I have leaves my body.

I go to my life for inspiration.  I go to my life and I write everything that I am feeling….I put the words to paper and that is what makes me feel alive.  My mother has always told me that I missed my calling in life and that I should be a famous writer.  Fame has never been something I sought after but I would love to share my words with the world….I want to inspire others to start believing and start living if they feel as if they have fallen…if they need to hear words of encouragement….if they just need answers.  I don’t have the answers to all of life’s questions but I believe my words could be answers what some people might need at certain moments in their lives.  When I write I imagine a young girl or woman living a poor and violence-filled life in a run-down third world country reading my words (somehow by some means) and feeling that there is hope….learning her value in that very moment….believing for the first time ever that she is beautiful.  I imagine the young girl that struggles with her weight reading and re-reading what I have written so she learns and absorbs that her outer self does not and will not ever define her!  I imagine standing in front of my parents friends and family members after they have passed and reading all of the things I have ever written about them and in that moment being able to relive all of the beautiful moments I had with the two people that gave me life…allowing everyone to see and feel even more of the gifts that my parents offered to the world day in and day out.  My writing is what inspires me because it is everything that I feel….it is who I am to the fullest extent that a person could possibly be.