Day 301 Question 301:
What was a horrible date experience you have had?
I am starting to wonder about where I am at in terms of relationships. After the last guy I cared about and I went our separate ways I have found that I kind of went into (I guess you would call it) shut down mode. Since him I just haven’t felt a spark or an interest…I really have put forth no effort…well maybe a little effort. I met a guy online and we chatted on the phone a few times and I wasn’t really sure what I was thinking about him but I decided that after a year of dating no one I would go on a simple coffee date with this guy. It lasted about an hour and I WANTED TO STAB MYSELF IN THE NECK OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!
I generally like to write about topics I feel passionate about and world issues that peak my interest. Well today I must turn the tables and tell anyone and everyone that is reading that I went on a coffee date with the world’s biggest DOUCHEBAG and I may never go on a another date ever again (ok maybe that is a little extreme). This guy is a divorced father of 2 and all I kept thinking was how sorry I felt for his children to have a father of this kind of jackass caliber. Our “date” lasted one hour and in that time span this moron threw out the N word, referred to gay people as fags, talked about beating the shit out of his 30 year old brother for stealing money (and as a side note this guy is 34 and him and his 30 year old brother both live at home with mom and dad), he made every kind of racist, prejudice and sexist joke imaginable (and I am talking the crudest of the crude). I am an avid writer and reader and he told me he hates to read and sees no point in it. I told him I would like to visit third-world countries to educate and empower women and he told me that was stupid and unnecessary because they need to learn on their own….he implied we just need to turn a blind eye. He told me he does whatever he wants and loves to embarrass the person that he is with because he thinks it is funny. I literally just sat there speechless….I could not say anything because I knew if I did I would end up telling him what a waste of space he was. At one point he even asked what I thought of him and I could not even answer the question…I sat there just shaking my head. It had to read all over my face that I thought he was an embarrassment to society as a whole. I am unsure if he was into me at all but I am pretty sure my facial expressions let him know that it would be a cold day in hell before I ever was within a 10 mile radius of him again. He told me I was quirky and silly and one of those dreamer hippie types. He is former military so I am sure my personality was a turn-off to him. All I kept thinking about was how terrifying it is that jerkoffs like that are supposed to be defending our country and our freedom. There was not one single appealing quality about this guy….I am unsure if I have ever been so turned off by someone as I was this guy.
In 2012 the dating pool seems to be very polluted. I don’t understand why it has to be so difficult or where some of these people crawl out of the woodwork from but I believe I have finally just shut down. When I took the time this past year to find myself and to embrace my passions I realized that I can’t ever settle again. I never want to settle to settle. If I end up with someone I want them to make me always crave more….in every way….mentally, emotionally, physically. It has been a long time since someone has made me really excited….has made me just want to talk and be me around them. I realized while on this horrific “date” today (oh and btw I bought my own coffee) that I don’t and don’t want to share the important parts of my life and pieces of me with anyone that is not going to appreciate it. I can easily sit in silence and not tell a word about myself when I know that someone doesn’t really care. This dickweed today talked nonstop about himself and did not ask me one single question….he never thought to ask me about myself…not one single thing. Maybe this is crazy but I observe people in situations such as this and when someone never asks you about you and your life then there is no reason to invest the time or emotion….you may be talking but they aren’t listening….these people are just waiting for you to finish so they can go on talking about themselves.
So, even though I experience moments of loneliness and sometimes question whether or not I have officially become dead inside, I will continue to embrace my single life. I may take the chance again at some point but I also may bring a helmet with me just in case. ;0)
Very well written, my friend 😉 I feel for you, and I am amazed you didn’t find a window and jump through it. What a situation (pun slightly intended).
Nice rant. Feel better? 🙂 Just know one thing. guys feel the same way sometimes.
D – I imagine that you found this person on a dating site, not a follower through WordPress or other site where you might meet someone who marches to the same tune.
Your experience is not unique, you will find that sadly a very large percentage of the people you meet will fall into the same of similar paradigms.
When I took the Dale Carnegie Course I wondered why they don’t make this class mandatory in all of our school systems.
Don’t close off your heart, just look elsewhere in the future, look where people like you hang out, as behavior based questions should you meet anyone on line again.
Someone as bright as you should be able to ask questions in a way that people can’t hide who they truly are.
building walls never helps us grow, tearing them down does!
Good Luck, and glad you made it out ok!!!
He certainly is a bag of douche! I hope you find someone good for you, great post 🙂
oh my.. I am amazed you survived the date, what a character. I always find it odd when people assume that being single equals being unhappy up to the stage where they almost treat you as if you were suffering from a disease or something – and you need to be cured. Blah.. Love comes when it comes and till then why shouldn’t you enjoy this crazy ride called life. 🙂
I completely concur with you!! I am finding that the male, and female, populous doesnt realize how much “douche-baggery” is out there!! Its quite sad.
Holy Jumping Catfish. If they would just tell the truth about who they really are on their profiles or, at minimum, on the telephone before you agree to meet. An F-bomber kept it all at bay until we were in the restaurant and I wanted to crawl under the table and die, he was so loud and opinionated and dropping the F-bomb so much the servers and people around us were all giving us “the look.” It was painful but brief. A Masters holding guy taught me the more education the more cleverly they can manipulate you or, as happened in his case, so he thought. I did meet him. Thank God we live in different cities hours from one another. Amen. Another waits until I meet him for the second time to tell me he is married. I really like what GrandfatherSky said above. But I struggle with even meeting anyone anymore. I think doing life alone is not such a bad thing. It’s a lot less energy sapping and time wasting, that is for sure, lol. In some cases, I have talked with them online or the telephone for weeks only to have one say on his way to meet me for the first time, “now that we are meeting I want you to close your dating profile.” Hah. No meet. Then Mr. Millionaire waffles so much, you can see he has his pick of the cream of the crop and can’t commit to anything or anyone but corporate success as his 65 years on the planet with no long term relationship tell you BEFORE you meet. I dunno. I ask myself the same questions. But then I ask myself, why do I ask these questions, lol lol. Thanks for sharing! Looking forward to more of your question answers, very candid and validating for me as a reader 🙂
Oh, he sounds charming …. not!!! I feel for you. I’ve been on some humdingers myself! Like the time I met up with a guy I knew at his parents house (quite posh area) and he accused me of stealing something out of the bathroom when I came out holding my hair scrunchie in my hand! Or the date I picked up to go to the cinema and he was lurking at the frount door ready to pounce, or…I could go on
The right guy is out there, and he’ll appear just when you least expect it – maybe even someone you already know.
I thought I’d found that special someone – a while back, but it was not meant to be.
I say I’ve already got Prince Charming – he’s just 5!
You have the perfect Prince Charming :0)