Day 283 Question 283:
At what point are we good enough? When are we self-improved enough to accept ourselves?
Take a look at your life. Can you TRULY say to yourself that you love everything last little thing about yourself? Can you spend each day not criticizing at least one thing about yourself? We all have our moments of self-doubt and self-questioning, whether it be linked to our physical attributes or our psychological state. We are creatures of question and continually wanting to improve ourselves in some way or another. The question is, when are we really good enough? Is there a peak that we can possibly reach in which we can go no further? By what person’s rules are we living by to say what is really good enough?
I have spent the majority of my life feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Self-criticism came far too easy and far too often. In the blink of an eye I have up living with all of this self-doubt and decided I was going to accept myself. I can choose to change certain things but I strongly believe in the natural way of things. I believe that there is a big different between being comfortable and confident with oneself and convincing oneself that you are truly comfortable and confident. I fall right down the middle between the two. I know I am a great writer and have the natural ability to welcome people into my life and make them feel comfortable. I have a nurturing way about myself that comes with ease and never feels forced. I am smart and sophisticated but I still have moments of unease. I am constantly looking for improve myself and I guess the question at hand is what are my goals and why are those my goals? I continually work on my body and want to get to a healthy place. My body will never be “perfect” in comparison to society’s standards because there are stretch marks and cellulite and loose skin that will never stretch back to normal. No, I do not enjoy looking at it but that does not mean I quit the challenge for wellness. I believe we are good enough when we set realistic goals and reach those goals….when we are able to accept that society is not who we need to look to for approval but instead decide what we want and work toward those goals (hopefully they are healthy goals…and I say this loosely because what one may consider healthy another may not). Hopefully young girls will strive toward focusing on keeping themselves healthy and by this I do not mean by being a size 2 or fitting into a tiny bikini…by healthy I mean making conscious choices that will keep their body running to the best of its ability and feeling comfortable in their own skin. As a society, we are continually looking to others for approval and we don’t even know how to look at ourselves for the same approval. It is unfortunately what the natural way of things in this society that have been for a very long time. I have internal battles all of the time because I know that sometimes how I feel and what I want do not coincide with what others think is right. For example, when I had issues with family members talking negatively about me I stood up for myself. I never used to do that but I have grown to feel that we should all do that (in a constructive way of course) because it allows us a freedom to be ourselves. My father does not like confrontation and believes I should have just let it go. I respect my father greatly so I debated back and forth whether or not what I did was right or wrong. Did I overstep any boundaries? Did I say the wrong thing? It was because of my father’s beliefs that I had all of these questions and self-doubt because I didn’t want him to be upset with me or disappointed with me. I had to go with what my feelings and my gut were telling me and I knew in the end that I made the right decision. I knew that if I did not express my hurt to these people that it would stay bottled up inside of me and would just turn into continual resentment and dislike for these people. Being honest is not always an easy thing….especially being honest in a tactful way.
I do think we (as a society of people) can be good enough but it only goes along with being accepting of ourselves. I truly believe that accepting oneself fully may potentially be one of the hardest things for us to do. There is no easy way to accept flaws or faults. If you think about your life, how have you handled heartbreak or doubt? It is hard to accept the pain and the just allow it to be what it is….we want it to go away immediately and when it doesn’t it stirs up even more negative emotions such as anxiety and anger. These emotions are toxic for your body and mind. They will come and go and when we accept that we are able to see the natural flow in life. This may sound all hippie dippy to some but it makes a lot more sense once you starting practicing it….instead of reacting to certain negative emotions just let me be what they are. I have personally found that by doing this that the negativity passes much quicker and I problems become insignificant. I no longer let that negative ego have control over me.
Honestly, I think being good enough comes with finding an inner peace and to be honest many people don’t find it because of the chaos that surrounds them every day and some don’t strive to find it. It is something that is not introduced very often because life is so fast paced and we are always on a constant track forward and must keep going and going and going. I may not love every part of myself but I know I am good enough simply because I am (finally) living in a natural state….I am living to meet my expectations not the expectations of the masses. I continually challenge myself to keep my mind sharp and my senses alert. Once I stopper living to meet the outer beauty standards of society and stopped listening to everyone up on their soapbox and started listening to my own inner voice (without doubt and questioning), I knew then that I was good enough….better than good enough.