Day 165 Question 165:
What do you think about at night when you can’t sleep/before you go to sleep?
I lay in bed every night winding down from the day. Some of my days are nonstop and once my body is comfortable positioned in my bed I take the time to just relax my mind and body. I can never go to sleep right away…even if I am really tried. My mind has been wired to use this time to think and to wonder. My thoughts are never the same of course. I spend a little bit of this time reflecting on my day but mainly I think about the future and wonder what life is going to be like. I try very hard to stay in the present and live in the now but I do love to spend time daydreaming (I guess in this case it would be night dreaming) and building “scenes” in my head of what the future could be. I don’t stress over these things and wonder “what if?” as much anymore. I just allow my mind to wonder and visualize things naturally.
Just recently I was lying in bed and I had finished reading the last book of 50 Shades of Grey. I found the book quite cheesy and for the most part annoying (sorry ladies) but it got me thinking about my Prince Charming. I am so undecided on whether or not I would ever want to get married. I LOVE my independence. I would love having a man in my life and share a lot of experiences with him. I am just unsure about bringing any legal paperwork into the relationship. I am not the typical girly girl that dreams of the perfect proposal and the lavish wedding. I am simplistic. I never pictured the proposal but I pictured myself in a white lace gown surrounded by a small group of friends and family followed by a party that was not overtaken by masses of people that I did not or hardly knew….small by perfect. I thought about a life being built between us and I dreamt of art and creativity being a huge part of our home. Who knows if these things are in my future….it is fun to fanaticize about.
I think about who will be a part of my life in the future. I think about what the world will be like in 10 years. I think about what I will be doing to make a difference in this world. I think about the people in my life that are so important to me and I hope that they experience happiness that they all deserve. I think about the good, the bad and the unbelievable. I think about change a lot…changes I want to continue making for myself and changes I want to see in the world. It takes a while for my mind to slow down and for my head to stop spinning. I have finally come to accept that I am a person that does not stop very easily….even when I try to relax my mind makes mental to do lists. At night I am making list after list after list. I don’t beat myself up if I don’t do all of those things on the lists but I keep them in my mind just as reminders. I think about all of the projects I am working on and the many that I want to take on. I think about the books I want to write and how I want to stop talking about it and actually sit my ass down and put the hours and hours worth of work into it. I know I have the talent…it is the organization I need to focus on…and probably sitting still for a lengthy period of time. I can get so easily distracted. :0)
Lying in bed at night, winding down from the day is my favorite time. I can zone out and watch episode after episode of Modern Family (because I have an almost unhealthy obsession with that show) or I can just lie there and think. I can rest my body and just reflect….I can use this time for just me and my thoughts. It is the time for no distractions. What do you think about???