Day 165 Question 165:
What do you think about at night when you can’t sleep/before you go to sleep?
I lay in bed every night winding down from the day. Some of my days are nonstop and once my body is comfortable positioned in my bed I take the time to just relax my mind and body. I can never go to sleep right away…even if I am really tried. My mind has been wired to use this time to think and to wonder. My thoughts are never the same of course. I spend a little bit of this time reflecting on my day but mainly I think about the future and wonder what life is going to be like. I try very hard to stay in the present and live in the now but I do love to spend time daydreaming (I guess in this case it would be night dreaming) and building “scenes” in my head of what the future could be. I don’t stress over these things and wonder “what if?” as much anymore. I just allow my mind to wonder and visualize things naturally.
Just recently I was lying in bed and I had finished reading the last book of 50 Shades of Grey. I found the book quite cheesy and for the most part annoying (sorry ladies) but it got me thinking about my Prince Charming. I am so undecided on whether or not I would ever want to get married. I LOVE my independence. I would love having a man in my life and share a lot of experiences with him. I am just unsure about bringing any legal paperwork into the relationship. I am not the typical girly girl that dreams of the perfect proposal and the lavish wedding. I am simplistic. I never pictured the proposal but I pictured myself in a white lace gown surrounded by a small group of friends and family followed by a party that was not overtaken by masses of people that I did not or hardly knew….small by perfect. I thought about a life being built between us and I dreamt of art and creativity being a huge part of our home. Who knows if these things are in my future….it is fun to fanaticize about.
I think about who will be a part of my life in the future. I think about what the world will be like in 10 years. I think about what I will be doing to make a difference in this world. I think about the people in my life that are so important to me and I hope that they experience happiness that they all deserve. I think about the good, the bad and the unbelievable. I think about change a lot…changes I want to continue making for myself and changes I want to see in the world. It takes a while for my mind to slow down and for my head to stop spinning. I have finally come to accept that I am a person that does not stop very easily….even when I try to relax my mind makes mental to do lists. At night I am making list after list after list. I don’t beat myself up if I don’t do all of those things on the lists but I keep them in my mind just as reminders. I think about all of the projects I am working on and the many that I want to take on. I think about the books I want to write and how I want to stop talking about it and actually sit my ass down and put the hours and hours worth of work into it. I know I have the talent…it is the organization I need to focus on…and probably sitting still for a lengthy period of time. I can get so easily distracted. :0)
Lying in bed at night, winding down from the day is my favorite time. I can zone out and watch episode after episode of Modern Family (because I have an almost unhealthy obsession with that show) or I can just lie there and think. I can rest my body and just reflect….I can use this time for just me and my thoughts. It is the time for no distractions. What do you think about???
What do I think about? Hmmm?
Will anyone notice if I get up and turn the hallway light on?(I’m scared of the dark).
Will my partner/children/cats all be breathing when I wake up?
Did I lock the doors and windows?
Did we lock the car?
Am I actually gonna get some sleep? (I sleep about 3 hours a night).
Who’s that in the hallway? Arrrgggggg! OH! It’s the cat!
Did I make my children feel loved today?
You know the list is endless, and, it’s usually the same every night.
I like what you think about at bed time…. Wanna swap brains tonight?!!
Happy hugs your way
Sounds soooooo familiar! 🙂 I give you MUCHO cred on your blog organization~ you are on point! I still cannot get my thoughts slowed down to write consistently!!
I think about all I have gleaned and savored through my blogging that day and all I have wonder and gratitude for in my day’s encounters. I prayerfully yearn for more and more “learning” opportunities on the coming day.
I know of a woman who was alot like you describe yourself to be in this post. She was a type “A” run, run, run, leader until she had an accident that laid her up. Then she had no way to accomplish all the things she was used to accomplishing. She got quiet and wrote about her experience. It’s a great and popular read among leaders I know.
Her name is Ruth Haley Barton. The book: Invitation to Solitude and Silence. She really found herself in the quiet times she was forced to, at first, endure. Perhaps this can be helpful to your readers.
It was REALLY helpful to me. I made some major course changes and now I’m finishing the first draft of my second book. And enjoying the quiet as I’ve stepped out of the stream of busyness that consumes our culture and had caught hold of me.
Thanks Diane. Keep writing. Love reading your posts.