Day 57 Question 57:

How do you want to be remembered after you die?  What do you want to be remembered for?

Good afternoon Blogosphere!  I was undecided about a question today because over the last few days the creative juices haven’t been flowing in full force.  I have days like that and I look at those days as opportunities to rest and recharge.  I believe it is my mind and body giving me a hint to slow down.

I decided on this question because last night at the gym I was reading an article about a young woman that would go visit people in nursing homes.  In one such nursing home there were a group of old men that were labeled as being stubborn and unfriendly.  Instead of running away from these this young woman decided to break through the walls and befriend these men.  She came to find out really quickly that these men were not stubborn nor unfriendly…they were lonely.  They had no one left in their lives and in the nursing home no one took the time to spend with them other than giving them their medicines and necessary hygiene and medical treatments.  These men were actually quite lively and full of all kinds of jokes (the dirtier the better).  This young woman became especially close with one of the men in particular and she spent a great deal of time talking to him outside of the group.  He shared stories of his past and gave advice when he felt needed.  At the end of one conversation he posed the question to the young woman of how she would want to be remembered after her final days.

I started thinking about this question in depth as a trekked along on the elliptical (I am telling you…I get this insane enlightenment when I read these articles while coasting along on the elliptical-it must be all of the endorphins bouncing around).  My first initial thought was that other’s opinions of me are not the most important but then I realized that that was not the angle I wanted to look from.  There are many people’s opinions that matter to me.  I am sure I will pass a great deal after my parents do but I still would want to think that I did everything in this life to make them as proud as possible…even after they are gone.

If I had my choice of how people viewed me it would be as a compassionate and empathetic person.  I would hope that people would realize that I made mistakes in life but my comebacks always blew them out of the water.  After I pass I hope that the people that choose to remember me and reflect on my life see that kindness was always what I strived for and spending my life learning to constantly better myself in all of the ways I thought possible.  I want to be known as the dreamer….the person that believed that peace was really possible in humanity.  I want to be remembered for making people laugh and making them always feel warm and welcome when they were in my presence.

For as long as I have known, my life has been this continual seeking of knowledge.  I decided to share this blog with the world to allow people to either meet a complete stranger and learn about her life or for those that know me to get a better idea of who I really am.  I wanted to be able to look back on this blog 5, 10, 15, 20, etc. years down the road and be able to revisit my life.  I wanted to be able to remember the old me in as much detail as I could.  I hope that the people that mean the most to me in life always have fond memories of me.  There will always be those memories of sadness, hurt, betrayal, etc. but I hope the good will always outweigh the bad.  I believe the people that truly know me will be able to say that I am the person that always tried to do the right thing (even if sometimes that didn’t work out).  I hope people remember that I would do for others so much quicker than I would do for myself because that is where my comfort lies.  Just the other day I was talking to my manager at the restaurant (we are very close friends) and he was telling me that he was going to be financially struggling for a couple of weeks in April because he will not be getting paid for one of his jobs (he is also a teacher at a private school).  My first initial instinct was trying to figure out a way to help him.  I wanted to offer up my tips to him for those two weeks so he would not have to struggle.  I knew that might hurt me a little bit but I would still be just fine and I would feel 100x more comfortable knowing he was not living in a constant state of worry.  It bothers me when those that I am close with feel sadness, pain or worry.  I want to do everything I can to take those feelings away from that person.  This is what I want to be known for when I pass from this life.  I want to be known as the kind person that would do anything I could to comfort someone or to make them smile.  I want to be known as the explorer of life and the girl that may have had a lot of fears but was always going one step further to conquer them.  I want to be known as the woman that sought out so many different people in life to hear their stories and to learn about life outside of my own.

I truly hope that in this lifetime I have been able to inspire people…if not just one person.  I hope my words have opened doors for people and have allowed them to see a beauty within themselves that may have gotten shuffle in the chaos called life.  I am not looking for grand recognition, I just want to help in life where I can.  I have struggled in different areas and I know what it is like to have self-esteem issues and to be overpowered by the media and if I can do anything to help young and old women alike (people actually) see what power they hold within themselves (and this power has nothing to do with their outer appearance) then I believe I will have truly lived.  I want to be able to spread the word in different ways to let people know that the world does not have to be this ugly place that is made up of hatred and continual arguments.  I want to leave this world being known for wanting to spread love, peace, happiness and all of those other aspects that make this world what it really is and should be.  Anger, hatred and violence should not be options and maybe I am a dreamer but I will never change the hope that I carry within myself.  I will never give up hope!