Feb. 1st, 2006 at 2:52 PM

Do you feel like sometimes no one can hear you? No one can relate to you? No one can see you? You are the most secluded person in the whole wide world? Does this scare you? Sometimes being one individual and knowing that not one single being can ever feel your exact emotions or thoughts is frightening because you start to question your own reality and your own sanity. Are we supposed to have the thoughts we do? Do other people think and feel completely different from they way you do or the way I do? Doctors have said that this feeling of being secluded can sometimes be diagnosed as depression(not saying that this may not be true for some-depression is a subject I will not expand on without any backup or extended knowledge) but I see it as a survival of the individual fittest. We have no choice but to only live in our body. We can not jump into someone else’s when things aren’t going the way we want them to or just to see what their emotions feel like when they cry or laugh or say something witty. When we feel irritated at someone’s actions or something they may say we have no idea what the other person is feeling when they are performing these actions or speaking these words. We assume why they are the way they are but how could you tell someone they are annoying you and you need them to tell you their exact feelings they had while doing so. Maybe their feelings and actions had completely genuine intentions behind them or they momentarily became nervous in yours or someone elses presence and spoke without thinking ahead. Even if we did ask how do we know we would get the truth from the other person even if they were willing to give us an answer after being outright insulted. You can’t ask someone why they are the way they are an expect a certain, truth-filled answer. How would you answer a question like that if it was posed to you? People can tell us what they think about us and how they feel about us but we will never know their entire overall view of how they see us as a person. We all know the truth can hurt sometimes but what can be the truth one day can change another. I always think about why people are the way they are (whether good or bad or even both) and I wonder why I am the way I am but I cannot answer either way. I just don’t know. Can I dismiss this all and just not think about it. I wish. Your thoughts don’t just quit because you want them to–they start up even more intensly when you do this.