Day 323 Question 323:

Where would you hope to see your life in 10-20 years?

 When I was a little girl I had this big idea of what adult life would be like.  I thought everyone lived the same way.  Everyone got married and had children and settled down in their homes and lived the American Dream.  Boy did I get a wide awakening as the years passed and I entered into adulthood.  I made assumptions about life as a child but growing into my late teens and early twenties I started to feel differently.  I never felt a natural connection to societal norms.  I never pictured what my wedding would look like…I never really envisioned the dress or the bridesmaids or the ceremony.  For a long time I thought there was something strange about me because I believed in love but I never really felt the connection to marriage and the longing that so many girls have for their dream wedding.  Of course the idea of a happily ever after with someone that helps bring me happiness day in and day out is great….I just never really saw the need to marry someone.  Maybe it will happen one day….who knows???  When I tell people I don’t want to get married it is inevitable that they will respond by saying, “you will one day”.  Maybe that is true but I would not be surprised or disappointed if it didn’t happen.  To me love does not equal marriage (but I highly respect those that choose to get married).

 I went off the beaten path of the question at hand.  So, where do I see my life in 10-20 years.  Obviously I cannot predict anything and up until this point my life has been one unexpected occurrence after another.  The journey has been amazing though and I try as often as I possibly can to focus on the now but I  do love to daydream about what my life may be.  I, of course, have hopes for my future and I am human so of course it would be amazing to find love….I mean real love….not “convenient” love or “in the mean time” love but rattles me to my core kind of love.  I don’t stop my life to seek this out though….I let things happen as naturally as I possibly can.  I hope I can look back in twenty years and have the ability to say that I have traveled abroad and met people I never thought I would ever meet.  I hope to one day shake hands with the Dalai Lama and meditate amongst Buddhist monks.  I hope to set my feet in different third world countries and empower and inspire young girls and women….I desperately want to give them hope and to share with them the beauty that they hold within no matter how horrid their circumstances may be.  I hope to have my words printed in a book that inspires my friends, my family and even complete strangers and I hope my words may potentially change people’s lives for the better.  I hope my words have made me find even more peace and balance in my life in the future years to come and have made those around me understand me just a little bit better.

 I have no idea what the future holds but there is so much that I ache to do and I hope that I am able to look back and say that I have accomplished those things.  I want to be part of a radio show and share my silliness with listeners but also share my passion and my thoughts that I feel need to be heard.  I want to stand in front of large groups of people (primarily young people) and share with them my journey and allow them to share with me theirs…..I want to hear their fears and their hopes and their dreams….I want to learn about what inspires them and in return I want to teach them to love in all forms of the word through even the hardest of times.  I don’t want my words to come with political meaning behind them because love and politics (in my book) never go hand in hand.  I want to share what this life has meant to me and how powerful change, self-love and compassion can be if we choose to focus on those things the most.

 I truly hope that I can look back in my life in 10 or 20 or 40 years and find pride in the fact that I continued this beautiful journey with a purpose.  I hope that I can look back knowing that I faced my fears….even the biggest fears.  My parents are older and it is almost certain that they will no longer be alive in 20 years.  I would want to look back at my life and know that I lived in a way that made them proud and continued to do for others as often as I could.  I hope to be just like my mother throughout the rest of my life and love people without question or judgment.

 When I look back in life I hope that there is great depth and substance.  I hope that I continued to seek knowledge and experiences around every corner and continued to do all of those things that I love.  I hope to have met people from all walks of life and learned their stories.  I hope to have learned more and more about myself and stood strong throughout the journey even during the times when it felt like I was being beat down from every angle.