Day 294 Question 294:
What is it about you that other people would change if they could?
Do you ever wonder what you do that people wish you didn’t….you know those quirky habits that you have that get under people’s skin. As most know I am a born worry-wart. Unfortunately I am always thinking about how I am perceived. If I were to make a guess I think it would be my indecisiveness that would probably drive people up the wall as well as my inability to communicate as easily as I would like. I am not a confrontational person and there are times I think people push me to try to get me to be confrontational. I don’t think certain people do it in a negative was as much as they try to get me to use my voice. I can express myself in words on paper so easily but through vocal expression (in my personal world) I sometimes stumble over what I want to say. My thoughts and my words seem to get all mixed up and sometimes I think (actually I know) it reads all over my face. I could easily give a speech to an audience that filled a stadium if the subject matter were something of great interest to me but to express my feelings sometimes feels almost impossible. Because of this I think that I can sometimes be portrayed as cold or maybe to some even stuck up…..to some I may even be a doormat.
I obviously don’t know exactly what people would change about me. Most people I know use tact and don’t point out all of the things that they view as negative. I am more liberal than conservative and I believe in peace over war in any and all occasions. I tend to have what people would call a “hippie” mentality and to many that is not realistic. My dad has even told me that my ideals are not realistic for the world we live in but I just can’t accept anger and violence as an answer. I believe that people need to focus more on the calm and the peaceful way of life because the strategies that we as a society are currently using are just not working. I believe in the words of Jimi Hendrix: When the Power of Love Overcomes the Love of Power the World Will Know Peace. I am not sure if I have ever believed in a statement more than this one. I think this mentality can sometimes drive because crazy. I think this mentality leads people to believe I am uneducated and live in a “dream” world when in truth I study every day. My way of life and way of thinking does not line up with the average person and the societal norms. People have tried to mold me all of my life because they believe my way of thinking will only bring me pain. Pain is inevitable in the society we live in but how we handle that pain is our own individual choice. I have learned that holding onto resentment and anger serves no purpose. I love the way that my mind works and that I will always try to see the good in every situation. I love that I don’t know need to know the answers to everything and that I constantly have a child-like curiosity.
I chose this question because sometimes I wonder what others think about me and sometimes I know what they think about me. Their views do not dictate my life though because this is my body and my soul. I know what I feel and for a very long time I was listening to everyone else’s voices instead of my own. I am not confrontational and I do stumble over my words and I am ok with that. It may drive me crazy in the moment but it is a part of me….it is a built in charm of mine.
i don’t get greatly excited or sad about anything. i’m always at a very middle level. if there’s trouble, i’m relaxed and just thinking about how to deal with it. and if something wonderful happens, or holiday times, i don’t get very excited. i just accept it as another day with more people around than usual.
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