Day 260 Question 260:

Do some people like being controlled?  Prefer having other people making their decisions for them?

Ok, before anyone’s head starts spinning…I am NOT referring to dominatrix or submission or anything of the sort.  I already know the answer to that question (SMILES).  I speak of life in general.  Are some people not comfortable with themselves so they would prefer for others to make their decisions?  I sometimes wonder if some people give in to what others say just to simplify their lives??  I am not saying this is a bad thing because life is full of complications and decisions to be made and self-discovery and sometimes it is just easier to just throw in the towel and just agree with someone.  I have done it in certain situations because I was not in the mood or mind-set for confrontation.

I do not like being controlled.   I do not like when people try to sway me to think like they do or tell me that my point of view is wrong.  I do wonder though if there are some people that float through life allowing everyone else to make their decisions for them.  I don’t know why but Paris Hilton keeps popping into the front of my head.  Here is this extremely rich girl (which has not done anything herself to become rich) that is driven everywhere and has her finances handled for her.  She is coddled every single day and just goes about having a good time day in and day out (yes, I am assuming…no, I do not know this for certain because I do not hang out with her…thank goodness).  In 2008, she got on TV donning a Rock the Vote t-shirt encouraging people to go to the polls and vote.  SHE WAS NOT EVEN REGISTERED!!!!  Just recently while driving to work I heard a story about how she was being driven around and she made some very derogatory remarks about gay people (saying they are disgusting) and the driver had cameras in the car and it was all caught on film.  Everything has been handled for her…her finances, her publicity, her legal matters, etc.  Is she ok with this???  I am trying not to judge and I admit there are times I wish someone would handle my finances for me but I cannot imagine not being involved in some very important aspects of my life.  I cannot imagine handing over so much power and control of my life to someone else.  I guess that is the difference between being a celebrity and being an Average Joe like me.  Well I say that but there are plenty of Average Joes that allow others to make their decisions for them.

The reason I chose this question is because I was at the gym trekking away on the elliptical the other day and on the TV were images of the political campaigns and people holding up signs in support of the candidate they will be voting for.  I started wondering how many of those people were choosing that candidate because they truly believe in what they stand for and how many were voting so that person can make their decisions for them.  I wondered how many of them voiced their honest and genuine opinions throughout their lives.  Again, I am not insulting.  Some people are more reserved than others and there is nothing wrong with that.  It is no surprise to know that I think the political system of this country has become way out of hand and has actually become quite disgusting.  I am a person that focuses so much on individuality that I have a hard time accepting government because I hate the idea of anyone telling me how I should be living my life.  I also believe I have a good head on my shoulders and will evaluate situations and make (what I believe to be) good decisions.  I would not harm people in the process.  Some people do not have the same inner-strength (again, not an insult) and I believe they allow others to control them and decide for them because they do not have confidence in themselves.  We see this happen in relationships all of the time…the woman that stays with her abuser because she believes all of the hateful and hurtful things he says about her or the unhappy couple that stays married because a failed marriage is considered a sin.  People tend to listen to others that hold some sort of power.  I have done this myself and sometimes in certain situations it is necessary (i.e. a job situation).  I am having a hard time expressing myself here.  As individuals we tend to look to those in power positions for the right answers.  I, personally, don’t believe those people have all of the answers.  It took me a long time to figure that out…..power does not equal being right or having control.  I am also one to question what is truly right and wrong.  What may be right for one may be very wrong for another.  People get so upset when others do not agree with them and we see these negative political ads flying all over the TV but what would the world be like if the masses were all in agreement?  I guess if we didn’t know any different it would be fine but that is not the life we know.  We understand the differences of polar opposites and we have all experienced them in some form or another.  This is why I always focus on the individual….I think it is vital to continue to find what comes natural to me.  For a majority of my life my head and my heart (thoughts vs. feelings) were completely out of balance which (I believe) has been the cause of many emotional and physical breakdowns I have had throughout life.  I was listening to what everyone was feeding into my ear and believing certain people HAD to be right….they had the power of authority over me.  I have finally come to realize that we are all equals in this world.  No one is above anyone else.  Yes, I will listen when a doctor tells me something or when someone teaches me something I know very little about but I have come to realize that these people have been educated by others as well….because they are knowledgeable in certain areas that I may not be does not make them better than me.  It is always ok to ask for a second opinion just to broaden your spectrum.  We are all our own worst enemies at some point in life.  We see others that excel in areas that we wish we could excel in. It can be very easy to fall into that pattern of following those that seem to hold the power….I have done it and I am sure I will do it again.  Becoming balanced in life requires a lot of self-evaluation and self-realization.  There will always be a constant battle with the ego (if we allow it).