Day 149 Question 149:
What is something you find really “weird”?
Ok I must clobber a specific topic….ONLINE DATING!! Ok I am 33 years old and I live in a place that is overtaken by tourists. I don’t drink so the bar scene is not where I hang out. I work 2 jobs and I do meet people randomly here and there but as far as dating goes…yes, I have gone to the online world. In a way I figure it might be a little easier because it gives me a chance to express myself in writing (which I feel most comfortable) and things can go at a pace that both parties feel comfortable with. Ha Ha, if only it was that easy. I am sure there are many women on dating sites that leave a lot to be desired…I am just speaking from a woman’s point of view and personal experience…I am AMAZED and SHOCKED at the things that men will say to women…and some of these men are in their late 30’s and even forties.
Maybe I am just naïve and maybe online dating is just a sexual playground for most people. I just don’t understand why so many people lie and I don’t understand how men can seriously start a conversation talking about “getting down”. I kid you not, I received one email that said: DTF? Yes, that was all it said. If any of you are oblivious to what this charming expression means….it means DOWN TO FUCK???? It took off at the same time that all of those Jersey Shore idiots became popular….the time that women idolized these toolbags with fake tans and hair that should be illegal. Apparently for some reason there are women where stuff like that works…I am not that woman. Ok, so I have decided to share the content of my profile as well as some of the responses I have received. I admit that my profile is a little bit long winded, but that is me and I am not going to be fake or dumb myself down in order to get a date. I am open to suggestions of anything I should maybe change or delete….I mainly wanted to give my readers a laugh with some of the responses I received. I have received emails from men into their 50’s that have asked to be my “sugardaddy” and I even had one send me a link to a diamond ring through Zales and said he believed that one day it could be mine….this is someone I had NEVER met.
Ok here is the About Me section of my profile:
Yes I can be a serious person and love in depth conversations but I absolutely love to laugh until I have tears streaming down my face. Every moment in life is an opportunity and I see that more and more all of the time. I am the type of person that does everything better to make my life situation as positive as possible. I don’t drink and I have found that a lot of people are weirded out by that (I didn’t have a problem-I just chose one day to cut it out of my life). I am always having moments of clarity and hope to reach ennlightenment. I read a lot and never want the learning process to end. The world has so much to offer and I want to take in an much as I possibly can. I am unsure of the type of person I could end up with…it is one of those things I believe will just be a natural progression. I do however know that I can no longer allow myself to be molded in order to be the person someone else wants me to be and I do not want to change someone in order for them to fit my life situation. That is not the way that real love works. I have a lot to share and would love to share tons of experiences with someone. Sometimes people will tell me to just relax and not take life so seriously. I am not an uptight person. I am actually quite a free-spirit but I do love the beauty life has to offer and what is the harm in wanting to learn from the perspectives of others. I will ask a lot of questions. If you don’t ask questions you will never know…
I am a beautiful person and would love to meet someone that just makes me smile, laugh and intrigues me. I believe dating, relationships and love should not be complicated. They should actually be very easy if it is real and genuine.
If you have read this far (which I know many havent because I get a lot of emails being asked what I do–really???) then I leave you with some idea of who I am. I do not have a set of rules or guidelines but with these questions/statements you will get a better idea of me:
1) I would much rather talk to you on the phone or in person than have a relationship via text (I believe we have lost personal contact amongst each other because of technology-and yes I am just as guilty).
2) Are you willing to do any of these things: take a yoga class with me, check out thrift stores, go zipling at Broadway, check out cultural places (there is a buddhist monestary in NMB I would love to check out), spend summer days on the beach, etc?
3) I absolutely love to laugh
4) Do you constantly believe that girls are drama queens? I can be intense from time to time but because I have emotions and am passionate this does not mean I am a drama queen. If this is the way you view most women we will probably not be the right fit.
5) I don’t understand why people don’t put effort in when it comes to meeting/getting to know someone. It is exciting to get to know new people. People surprise me (in a good way) all of the time. If you aren’t interested it’s not big deal. And if you say you are going to call then call or follow through with what you have said-first off it is polite and secondly, I am a big girl and can handle it if you don’t want to call. I just prefer the truth—it eliminates a lot of mind games.
6) It is not always easy but I try to focus strictly on the NOW! This is all there is. The past and the future are an illusion and there is nothing we can do to change either, so I find it important to simply be in the now. Enjoy the moment for what it is. It is amazing how much inner peace you can experience by doing this.
And if we don’t meet or don’t click I reccommend anyone that reads my profile to read the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle-this is probably the most phenomenal book I have ever read in my life-absolutely life changing.
“Will it bring me happiness?” That simple question can be a powerful tool in helping us skillfully conduct all areas of our lives. It puts a new slant on things. Approaching our daily decisions and choices with this question in mind shifts the focus from what we are denying ourselves to what we are seeking—ultimate happiness.'”~Dalai Lama
Pictured below are some of the responses I have received from men….yes their pictures are there…I am sure no one on here knows them…and if they do they should slap them (hahahaha). Feedback would definitely be wonderful. I am by no means desperate for a date but I am wondering where the good ones hide out…anyone have that answer????
It's a New Day... 
You’re killing me!!! Too funny.
But I must tell you that after meeting lots of strange fellas on line, I met my husband. It’s a cute story and too long to tell here. But know it can happen. Just goo into the process with specific boundaries and you just might meet Mr. Right. If you want to read about what it was like for me to meet Mr. Wrong, read http://robingilbertluftig.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/days-long-ago-thank-you-jesus/. It’s a hoot!
Happy dating, and great blog.
I don’t understand on-line dating. You can never get to know a person unless you spend real time with them, and even then it’s tricky and you’re constantly discovering something new about them and them about you, which you may or may not like.
I can’t understand people can’t find other people they like around them in everyday REAL situations like in the good old days. We have survived for millennia doing just that. Are we afraid of real people now? I am more afraid of all these weirdos on line, who never seem to be what they say they are!
Get out there and meet someone real.
I’ve met people through work (didn’t work out), being set up with friends (really didn’t work out), meeting at bars and other social events and NONE of these has worked out. What else are we left with? There’s nothing wrong with online dating. The people who are serious about it are REAL people too, not some robot making a fake profile. And let’s face it, people are online more in this day and age than they ever have been previously. It shouldn’t matter HOW you meet someone, as long as you mutually care about each other and want to get to know each other.
Fair enough! I’ve met some people on Tweeter and WordPress who seem really nice and who I might like to befriend if we lived closer. I am not after a relationship, but I can see I could become good friends with some of those people(both men and women) Hope you find the ONE for you one way or another: we all need that.
Thank you for reading and replying to my comment. Good luck!
Fatima
@fatimasaysell: If you’re working two jobs it’s VERY difficult to meet new people “out there”. I understand and identify with Diane as I am in the same situation. Ever heard of a phrase: “Don’t s*&t where you eat?” I don’t know about Diane, but I have had the misfortune of dating someone with whom I worked and, good grief, what a HUGE mistake!!! I’m just saying that meeting “real” people out in the “real” world when you’re trying to keep your head above the economical waters by working two jobs is almost impossible.
@Diane: I feel your pain with regards to online dating. As for you “about me”, don’t change a thing! (I’m only sorry you’re not gay! LOL!) I think it’s important that the “about me” info have just enough so people know what they’re getting, but not too much so there’s nothing to talk about when you’re chatting on the phone or in person. I have had disastrous responses to my “about me”, but I have also had great responses. It’s just like meeting people in person… we have to weed out the, well, weeds, before we can find the blossoms! (Gosh, that sound really hokey. LOL!)
Keep the online dating faith! 🙂
Thank you so much for this response 🙂 It brightened my day 🙂
Ok, Audophino4. You’ve got me! Perhaps things have changed beyond recognition in the last 10 years or so and what used to work only a few years ago isn’t valid any more. I met a few lemons before I married my 2nd husband (we met in a pub introduced by a mutual friend) and I seem to be surrounded by divorced people. I am not against on-line dating, all I am saying is that you shouldn’t rule out the ‘conventional’ old fashioned way either. At the end of the day, whatever works for you is what really matters.
I wish you all best of luck and hope you all find someone to make you truly happy and share your lives with you, come what may.
Big hug
Fatima
you are one amazing person !!! i think online dating is one of best awy to find out the real and the weirdo’s . its hard to find true love now a days and more harder in the online world . online dating is hard , requires lot of effort , faith , trust . any man who will have will have be soo very lucky !!!!! i hope to find someone like you someday ! god bless and i hope u get the right man for you:-)
awwwww that is so sweet 🙂 thank you so much 🙂
applauding your bravery and hope you find what you are looking for, I was not successful
Well written. OMG I empathize totally though I am a little older than you, my experiences in online dating are very similar. Now, that said, when it wasn’t such a proliferating online tool for hookups, it was fairly new, two of my sisters met their now husbands of 6 and 9 years online. Sigh… I dunno… I think supply and demand create the market. Stick with what you want. Don’t get discouraged. No matter what. Why do I say this? Because I say it to myself every single day. Just want one good, genuine man who fully comprehends that monogamy is not a type of wood 🙂 Kindest Regards and best wishes always.
Reblogged this on AURORA MOREALIST ©2011 ~ Writer and commented:
Diane does a far better job of writing about this than I could… had to share…
Those responses are hilarious!! I did online dating once. It turned up some crazy guys.. and some good ones too. When you are as busy as you are, sometimes it’s the way you’ve gotta go. I have a lot of friends who have awesome success stories from online dating. My best advice would be….
Choose wisely my friend 🙂
First of all let me start off by inquiring where you found the photo of me lying on the piano…lol.
I want to vote for the guy who replied with: sup shorty.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
There are times I detest being male, because of all the idiots, some of whom you have profiled above, but God I’m glad I don’t have to try to find a decent guy who wants to see if a serious relationship can develop. I would probably have killed men had I been born female.
Best wishes…keep us posted…this is a hoot…be encouraged!
Awe sweetie keep your head up. I didn’t do on-line dating but I did join a singles social network with a group of girlfriends. You know, the ones that set up dinner parties for an equal number of men and women, 4 of each, small, intimate…NOT! I was in my 40’s so I was in groups with guys in their 40’s and 50’s….want to talk about pigs? And those conversations took place, in public, in a group setting! Easy to see why these guys were single and how the term “Dirty Old Man” came to be. After a year, something like 12 dinners and a few meet and greets out of 6 ladies of various ages…none of us found Mr. Right. I was done until Walt found me at work, it’s been a great ride. In fact….all six of us are married, one friends mom introduced her to the UPS Man, the others found love through friends. Hang in there, your Mr. Right is out there and will find you when you least expect it.
Like other commentators on here, I too met my husband on an online dating site. I too received rubbish replies which I happily binned, met a few ‘maybe’s’ that turned into ‘def nots’ and was about to give up when I met ‘the one’. His profile did not even have a photo!!! He did not big himself up, he did not ‘drink red wine and watch dvd’s on a cosey sofa or go for moonlight walks along the beach’, thank God – he was real … and still is! First rule for me was respecting myself .. and being honest in my profile – which I feel yours is too – just think – there is an amazing guy out there – he just has to find you – or – you find him – take your time and read some profiles – that’s how I met mine! Good luck!! 🙂
The only redeeming quality about those guys, is you know exactly what they’re like and what they want. Up front. Good grief. What DB’s!
Keep your head up. Dating is hard. Especially online dating. I did the online thing for awhile. I kept my standards extremely high and eventually stopped looking altogether just to take a break. That’s when he found me. On MySpace of all places. (Back when MySpace was cool). I wrote a series of posts about it if you’re interested. http://finneyfer.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/a-love-story/
Anyway, try not to get discouraged. Someone is out there who is perfect for you. 🙂
my gosh..!
Ha Ha my sentiments exactly:0)
Ohh, I’m glad I’m not in your shoes. However, in my family I can count 3 happy married people who met online. All age groups and personalities. So for them it was great. As someone who reads resumes I’ve got to say I would never be able to wade through your long one. However, as a follower of you, I LOVE what you write. Please try putting your list up first and follow it with the rest. It would weed out the big jerks first. PS my oldest daughter had several relationships with jerks. In her 40s she met and married mr right. He was worth the wait. If she hadn’t had relationships with jerks, she might not have recognized her diamond in the rough. Have fun, stay safe, believe he’s there.
Just an idea, I’m sure if you go into detail about this but instead of relying on the messages the guys sent you, have you tried yourself to go through some of the guy’s online profile which you liked? I heard from female friends of mine that if they put up an online profile, they usually get bombarded with a ton of nonsense.. which is evident above.So instead of sifting through tons of crap, maybe you can try initiating the messages with the guys who’s profile you fancied, and start weeding from there? I’m sure there’s a lot less work that way…
‘sup shorty? wtf.. There’s a reason It takes actual effort for my brain to say “plenty of FISH” and not “plenty off-ish” (where the men will make you go “..meh”) when I see that site. And apparently it’s gotten much MUCH worse online since I was 33. Who taught these tools to spell? yikes.
Make yourself who you want it to be. The right person will belong in the life you create. If not, you will still love yourself.