Day 136 Question 136:
What is the difference between confidence and arrogance?
When I got home from work last night I crawled into my bed and just started flipping the channels on TV while relaxing and getting ready to call it a night. Nowadays, channel after channel has been taken over by some sort of reality TV. How they can even call these shows reality is beyond me. Majority of these people are wannabe actors and actresses that have yet to make it big. The attitudes portrayed on these shows are to the point of disgustingly sickening. On so many of these shows, the men and women act vulgar, arrogant, and slutty. I started thinking about the REAL population of people out there and where the line really was between being confident and crossing into cocky.
There are many instances where it is OBVIOUS that someone is just straight cocky. For example, all of the big toolbags on The Jersey Shore have crossed the line by about 500 miles and are beyond cocky. They walk around with their chest swelled out and act as if they are a gift to all women. They refer to women as grenades. I can’t quite wrap my head around why these guys think they are better than any other guys or more worthy of all women’s attention. I do understand that it is a TV show and I am sure a lot of it is “scripted” but I believe wholeheartedly that all of these guys were probably big cocky douchebags before they were even a consideration for this horrific “reality” show. The girls are the same exact way. All made of plastic and spray tans. Sadly, one of them is reproducing which is a very very scary thought considering none of them understand the concept of fidelity. Ok, I just went on a serious hateful rant about jersey Shore and that was not at all my intention…hahahaha.
So where is the line between confident and cocky. Honestly, I think confidence is an ability that very few people actually are able to achieve. IN MY OPINION, confidence is believing in oneself and standing behind your morals and values but still exude respect to all audiences. Confidence is being able to continually face your fears and take on challenges and when they are achieved having a feeling of pride but not becoming a show off. I believe that people who act cocky and arrogant do so because they are either self-conscious underneath and feel the need to prove themselves or they have learned it over and over again in their environments. They have been taught at some time in their lives that they are better than people so they make sure that they let people know that they are. It is really quite sad.
I find confidence to be one of the most appealing qualities in a person. I am naturally drawn to a confident person. I am drawn to a person who believes in their way and they follow it but their actions are still modest. As soon as someone crosses over into the dark side and takes on the cocky role I am immediately turned off.
I wanted to include a couple of pieces by other people just to see what their feedback is like. I have my opinions but I love to hear where other people draw the line between cocky and confident. I am dying to know what you think. :0)
Confidence Vs. Arrogance
Written by Markus Ellek
Confidence might be the strongest aphrodisiac to women, while arrogance might be the biggest turn off of love.
The line between confident and arrogance are thin and unclear to many guys.
What I find the most challenging, is to calibrate how cocky and confident I come off, because I have noted that what one girl might find incredible confident and appealing, another girl might find tremendously arrogant and repulsive.
That’s why I have written this article about how to be confident and how to calibrate your confidence.
One thing you I have noticed is that it’s actually a girls own level of confidence on any given day that determines where the line between what she will find confidently attractive and arrogantly unattractive.
You have to read her confidence level and thus adjust your cockiness towards that.
Avoid this common mistake:
Girls are drawn toward guys who are slightly more confident than themselves. If a guy is “too” confident (compared to her own level of confidence) she will find him arrogant. But if she finds him to be less confident that what she feels herself, then she will lose attraction for him.
So the real key observation here is that the more confident she is, the more confident behavior you have to display to attract her, but don’t overdo because then you will come off as arrogant.
Cocky-funniness vs. arrogance!
Many guys (including myself) have tried to appear more confident by using cocky funny lines and behavior to spice up our dates.
The thing is though – that such cocky funny behavior can become a crouch of false confidence, and if you are not careful you might end up looking like you are trying to shield your insecurities of with arrogance.
This does not mean that cocky funniness and banter can’t used to create real long-lasting attraction, my point is that in my opinion its only possible if you really are as confident as you try to appear.
How to display REAL self-esteem and confidence:
Here’s what you do:
First you have known what makes the deference between arrogance and confidence.
Arrogance is when somebody tries to come across flawless, like they are perfect in any way; an arrogant person will thus tell you about all the positive and impressing things he or she has accomplished in life. He will brag and be a show of. Other arrogant individuals think of themselves as being better than everybody else. They think that they are better looking or more intelligent, more knowledgeable, or more superior in some way. This often appears condescending to the people around them and are thus a huge turn off.
Confidence is in my opinion the quite opposite, true confidence is when somebody dares to be them self, and dares to stand by their own flaws, not being a shame or trying to hide anything about them self.
Talking about your own flaws in a confident manner is a power way to display of true confidence.
I my experience too express one of your flaws or weakness’s to another person, first of all makes you very relatable, secondly it sets you apart as a confident man, because most people tries to hide their own flaws and weakness’s, but you are doing the quite opposite, and makes you come across as VERY confident.
There is a couple of pitfalls here: when you tell somebody about a flaw of your you have to do it in a confident tone of voice and with confident body language.
NOTE: Talking about your own flaws only displays confidence if it’s done in a non self deprecating way, this means that when you talk about one of your weaknesses you have to end it on a high note. You have to tell the other person that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that you believe it going to turn out positive.
Cocky or Confident?
What’s the difference between cockiness and confidence and the reality to both?
In society today, as a whole, an extremely controversial issue is a person being confident in oneself or being ultimately cocky. Most say cockiness is a trait of an arrogant person which is a negative attribute to a person; on the other hand, confidence is looked upon being keen, which seems to be a positive attribute to society. Stating this, how can one be confident without a miniscule of cockiness?
There is an astronomic difference between cocky and confident. Cocky is bold, brash and brazen with a dose of sassy and saucy. There is self confidence hidden greatly under the behavior but it manifests itself rudely most of the time. Cockiness is the first thing a person can see; the way you walk, talk and promote oneself all proves the cockiness level of one being.
Self confidence is confidence in oneself and in one’s physical and mental powers and abilities. It’s being secure and having assurance in oneself. Self confidence is what makes people liked by others. It’s classy. Cockiness is simply unattractive.
When we look at many athletes, we only see their cocky side — their swagger, the sly smirks on their faces, revealing arrogance and pride. What we often do not comprehend is that’s just a misguided mask of “real” self-confidence without a place to rest. A more important trait for an athlete is possessing true confidence, when oneself knows for certain his abilities and strengths and how to fully utilize them. Confidence is needed by every athlete to fully rise to the top in his sport.
As entrepreneurs and business people, confidence is absolutely essential to the success of the business. For example, a Mac computer vs. PC is a constant battle that fills much publicity in America today. Both are extremely confident in one to constantly downgrade one another for the better of their self. However, this confidence is needed to stay aboard the fight for the customer.
Everyone needs confidence in oneself. However first we must know who we are, what we are capable of and what talents we have to successfully execute our tasks. We should seek to improve our weak points and develop into a better, more balanced, enriched person. Ultimately being cocky turns people off. Being confident attracts people to us. One can never be too confident, however, be careful, because a cocky person is never good.
In my opinion, confidence is believing in your own abilities, arrogance is thinking you are better than anyone else.
This post is very timely as I’ve been thinking about confidence a lot lately. I’ve never been a very confident person, but I’m becoming more so recently. And I notice that as my confidence increases, so does the volume of my judgemental voice. For someone trying to “learn” to be confident, the lines between confident, cocky, humble, and timid are very difficult to hash out. Plus there is the fake it until you make it school of thought, where you try to behave as though you’re confident, even when you’re not. I have to imagine that fake confidence is going to look cocky much of the time. So thanks for the post — maybe it will help me sort this out for myself. 🙂
With our eyes on God, we can’t help but be humble, realizing who we are in relation to Him. With our confidence in God and not ourselves (or others), we can’t help but have real confidence. IF our confidence is only as good as the one in whom we place it, who better to look to than God HImself?! 🙂 That’s my take!
Confident is what I am, arrogant is what my boss is.
Ha Ha I love it :0)
If you had not ever suspect one of your idea, it would not be a confidence. Confidence will reborn from repeated conflict within yourself, like a phoenix jumps into the burning fire again and again and yet rises.
Great post. I could not agree more about the jersey shore rant! You speak the truth.
Great post. I could not agree with you more about the jersey shore rant. You speak the truth!
Confidence happens when you’ve failed and come out stronger; cockiness happens when you’ve failed, blamed someone else, and buried the truth.
If cocky is supposed to be a good thing, then I guess the difference (from my perspective) is humor + self awareness. The arrogant don’t find themselves funny, and believe their own mythology. Even worse, they actually believe WE believe their mythology. Ha
Hmm..that said confident, not cocky. Where’d I get that? Weird. Well, the definition stands, although often the confident (men) I’m around Believe in their confidence, but they’re still wrong. It’s a fine line for them to slip over into arrogance. Sorry for misreading! 🙂
We think confidence is knowing you can do something where arrogance is rubbing that fact in someone else’s face.
Bella and DiDi