Day 46 Question 46:
What do you find attractive in other people?
Well, it is official, I am sick. I started feeling under the weather late yesterday afternoon. The people that I nanny for just returned from Washington this week and the little ladies that I take care of both returned with pretty bad colds. Their noses have been oozing for a week now so it was inevitable that my time was to come. Although I am not a parent, I have learned quickly what it means to go into survival mode (especially when taking care of twins). I never thought I would see the day where I would be holding one child and comforting her (while crying on my shoulder) and have the other one crawl up to me with boogies running straight down her face and take my bare hand and wipe her face. Nope I surely never thought I would see the day…don’t worry I washed my hands a lot. Germs are germs though and when it comes to children, once they get sick then everyone is bound to get sick. Good thing they are so cute to make it totally worth it.
Anyhow, in my clouded haze I stumbled upon the question of attraction. I wanted to pose the question in a manner that was not directly linked to romantic attraction. In my opinion, attraction is the sense of being drawn to someone whether it be because of the way they look or their mannerisms. Many things can attract one person to another. How many times have you encountered someone you may not find physically appealing but once they speak and engage in conversation you find that you are attracted to their person…to their being. You may not necessarily feel a romantic connection but you feel a desire to be around them.
There are a ton of qualities I find attractive in people. Confidence (confidence not cockiness or arrogant) is probably one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. When a person is obviously secure with themselves they exude a natural happiness in life. I love to be around people like this because it makes me feel like they are living their ultimate bliss. I believe in the law of attraction as well so I choose to surround myself with people like this as often as I can.
When I first started pondering this question, I could not get one certain person out of my mind. It is someone I had not thought about in quite some time until just recently. I grew up in a small town in northern NY…the population at that time was approximately 7,000. I am almost sure there were more cows than people. That is an unimportant side note though. I lived in town and residing next door was a man that was in his 70’s (I believe that was about his age when I was young-it’s always hard to gauge ages when you are young because everyone seems super old-he died in his 90’s approximately 5 years ago). This man was like a grandfather to my sisters and I. Yes, we had our grandfathers still living at that time but they were not close and this person was so we immediately took to him like he was our family. He never acted annoyed and burdened by us children. Until I grew into my late teens, I was a very shy kid. I was never the risk taker and never the one to initiate conversations with people. I would always be polite and speak when spoken to but I never was the one to outright start the conversation. It was different with this man. I was a young child and I would go next door to visit him. I was attracted to this person and not in any weird sense (obviously) because he was always telling stories of serving in the wars and would show us pictures of his family. He always had the most interesting stories to share and you could see the excitement and pride in his eyes and in his facial expressions when he told the stories. This man exuded more kindness than most people I have encountered in my 33 years of life. I do not have one memory of this man ever being angry or up (I am sure he was from time to time being that he is human and all) but he always was able to use a great deal of discretion and chose to never convey those emotions to others because he felt it to be impolite. His ability to make people smile and to treat people with such a great amount of respect drew people in. These are some of the most attractive qualities that a person can hold within themselves. These are the qualities that attracts me to others and make me want to build relationships with people. Times have changed though. Society has changed and media has emerged in a way that has (at least I believe) has made us lose those personal connections with each other. When I find qualities like this in a person, I hold onto them with dear life because these (in my opinion) are the most endearing and sincere qualities a person could have. These qualities portray a sense of balance. In this crazed world, if a person is able to keep up with media and technology but still maintain personal relationships on deep levels then I am hooked.
People are all so different and that is what makes life so interesting to me. I have been drawn to complete strangers because of only mere words they have spoken or body language that portrays passion and desire. I guess I can give you a list of the things that I am attracted to when it comes to people…some of these things may cause romantical (wink wink) feelings in me while others may cause a desire to want to get to know the person more and hear more about their lives and adventures.
1) Confidence-Nothing beats it
2) Artistic-I am absolutely drawn to people that love creating in some way or another-whether it be through writing, painting or music. Someone that exudes passion in a creative form.
3) Height-Yes this might be a shallow thing but I am attracted to tall people. I usually just want to wrap my arms around their waist like it is the trunk of a tree (maybe that is why I am sometimes called a tree hugger ;0)
4) Kindness-It may seem like an obvious thing to be attracted to but kindness comes in many forms. I am attracted to people that perform kind acts naturally, without even realizing that they are doing it.
5) Compassion and Empathy-I am drawn to people (especially people I am physically attracted to) that show compassion and empathy towards others. They put others ahead of themselves without question.
6) Humor-If you can make me laugh and make me feel like I have a hanger stuck in my mouth from smiling so much then I will 100% be attracted to you as a person.
7) Adventurous-I chose this quality because sometimes I am not as adventurous as I wish I was and when I encounter people that are it drives me to step outside of my comfort zone—and let’s face it…life starts when you finally step outside of your comfort zone.
8) Happiness-I am so ridiculously drawn to happy people. I am drawn to people that see the silver lining majority of the time. I am drawn to people that do not let the stresses and struggles control them.
9) Eager-This is broad but I guess what I mean is I find eagerness for learning to be very attractive. I have such a thirst for knowledge and love meeting other’s that do too because then I am able to learn even more. I am allowed the gift of a different perspective.
There are other qualities (many other qualities) that people have drawn me in with. I could go on and on for days I am sure but these ones I have listed I would have to say are the main ones. Attraction is a concept in which we tend to label in the manner of romance but in truth we are all attracted to each other in some way or another whether we are friends, lovers or even complete strangers.
A skillful transition from being covered in child-snot to an article on attraction; very nice. The old gentleman you mention seems an admirable character and you are lucky to have known him. I think politeness and manners are extremely attractive features, though in the UK they seem to be disappearing – very sad. Good luck with your epic blog marathon.
I am dominated by an irresistible attraction towards the abstract person 🙂
What a beautiful post. As for me I never il I am hooked on the person. I have been very lucky to meet some of the kindest loving people in the world. Perhaps it is a blessing of the crosses I have had to bear or perhaps sheer luck. But am lucky in real life and virtual relationships to be surrounded by kindness.
Very nice well done, keep up the good work.
I don’t think I’ve seen or heard the term “distended red anus” before…but now I vow to incorporate it into a conversation. I’ll report the results, no matter how troubling they may be.
OMG I just laughed out loud soooooo loud. yes, please let me know how that conversation goes :0)
love your header photo! thanks for checking my blog out and i will come back and have a good read on yours soon!
I am glad that you followed my blog because I came across this marvellous entry!
I had just had this talk with my friends yesterday about what I find attractive. I agree 100% on the confidence. A guy has to be secure enough with himself for me to even think him attractive. Shyness is cute to some degree, but when I am looking for a hunny, I want someone who is going to be confident in themselves and is going to be a leader because I don’t want to have to be the leader (all the time anyways). I want someone who is willing to challenge me and stick with there opinions. If a guy is unsure I am put off.
Kindness, humour and happiness are important too but yes, confidence is a must!
And I think that they must be attractive to me. This doesn’t mean they have to be smokin’ hot, but that there is something in them that I am attracted to (whether or not others agree it is there). Without the attraction, how can there be a spark? Oftentimes the confidence is enough to establish an attraction though.
Thanks for the follow, I look forward to reading your future posts! 😀
For me is the eyes (the windows to your soul), good manners and sense of humour.
I will sign on to ALL of these attributes of someone to whom I would be attracted! I would just emphasize, in the midst of compassions and empathy and kindness, that the person should be a great LISTENER, not just to me, but to others around us!
I do agree that happiness is a must when searching for a mate. If that person is depending on marriage to make them happy, no one on earth can always live up to that standard and I would become to discouraged, as well as they.
Another thing, I hate prideful people who won’t hear the other side of a subject.
34% for what? What a riot!!! 😆
So I like to build with Legos and rescue small cats for friendly old neighborhood ladies. 🙂 Any attraction sparking?
I wasn’t joking about the Legos part either!
Seriously though, the nature of attraction is that we recognize those things in another person that complement (not compliment) us in some way. That may be an opposing trait that challenges us or balances us in some way, or it may be a corresponding trait that reinforces and inspires us in some area we value already.
I’d like to find a school that teaches monkey:
4) Howler Monkey – Yes!