Day 16 Question 16
What are some things you have a hard time or just can’t wrap your brain around?
There are so many things in this ever-changing world that I just don’t understand. I know I know we aren’t meant to understand everything. I would love to crawl into the minds of others to experience their madness, their pain, their joy, their excitement. So many of the things I cannot wrap my brain around exist because they are things I have never experienced. They are things I do not know. Some of these things just seem to me to be ultimately wrong while others are just things I don’t understand because some people are so different from myself. These people were raised differently than I was and maybe they even come from different cultural backgrounds. The things I can’t wrap my brain around are what make me seek more and more knowledge and experiences each and everyday. They are the reason I never want to stop learning. When you stop learning you stop living. I don’t ever want to stop living, even if my body does die. I believe my soul will always live on in some way or another. So, I will guide you through with a list of things I think about and can’t seem to understand. I hope none of these things offend anyone because they are not meant to. I speak only from experiences and things I have been subjected to. I do realize there is a world out there that is way way way bigger than me.
1) I can’t wrap my brain around how a woman can have a child (give birth) and neglect or abuse them. No I am not a parent and although a lot of pregnancies are unplanned, I don’t understand how a woman grow another human being inside of her (something that is part of her that shares her same DNA) and can look at that child and not feel love and a special bond that makes you want to protect them everyday of their life.
2) I can’t wrap my brain around why people just settle in life. I admit to being one of these people in certain areas of life and I beat myself up for it all of the time. Life can be hard and life can have huge battles to fight but there are so many opportunities. I don’t understand why people do not choose to continue moving forward. I don’t understand why you would want to just stand still. It seems so mundane and boring to me. \
3) I can’t wrap my brain around how and why people murder, especially those people that are found to be complete geniuses. The Unabomber (Kazinski) sent mail bombs for years, killing people as well as injuring others. This man was tested and found to function on the level of a genius. Yes, I am sure he suffered from social issues but he had a gift in life that he could use for such good and decided to take an entirely different route. He believed this was the scare that the American people needed. I do not condone it but I do understand the kids that snap from being bullied so badly in school but I do not understand why our society is not moving at a rapid pace to fix this problem. We know that the percentages of individuals diagnosed with some sort of mental disorder is constantly on the rise but we don’t seem to be doing anything to help the problem.
4) I can’t wrap my brain around why men do not court women anymore. Yes, I know this sounds so cheesy and we are in 2012 and what about womens lib and blah blah blah. This is just how I feel. I do not understand why chivalry is quickly dying out. Romance is a concept that is being long forgotten. Technology is making us lose all personal contact. As a woman, I would absolutely love it is a man were to call me and ask me out on a date (and when he calls he actually has a date and a place in mind). I don’t understand why so much has changed in such a short period of time.
5) I can’t wrap my brain around other cultures and different parts of the world because I have never experienced them. I am extremely curious too but I am also afraid because I know it will be a culture shock. It would be very much out of my comfort zone but in the same an amazing learning experience.
6) I do not understand racism/prejudice. Do not get me wrong, I have made my share of racist/inappropriate jokes and by no means am I saying that is right but I also know that I do not feel a pure hatred toward any race or religion. Slavery seems so unfathomable to me because it does not seem possibly that one race (my own race) could treat another race like they were animals. Making them wait on them hand and foot and punishing them with whippings. This day in age though the racism is shared on both sides. I have experienced plenty of hatred from black people. I have been told I was a stuckup white bitch that thinks I am better than everyone. I have been pegged as rich because I am white (which couldn’t be farther from the truth) and because of this I was hated. I don’t understand it at all. We are all people. We all have a heartbeat. We all breathe the same air. We all have all of the senses (well most-some people unfortunately do not have all of these things). We all have the same capabilities (more or less). But we are still divided in so many ways just based on our backgrounds. It is so sad. We could all learn so much from each other but so many people choose to hate because we don’t all have the same opinions, backgrounds or beliefs. These things are an opportunity and so many people only see it as a threat.
7) I can’t wrap my brain around child abuse or pedophilia. I do not understand how a grown person could look down on a small child and beat them in any form or how they could have any sexual attraction or desires toward them. Children are so defenseless and innocent. It is sad because when a child is abused in any form that has the potential to affect them for the rest of their lives. I had a really hard time watching the movie Precious because the scene where the mother and father are having sex and the father reaches over to fondle his 3 yr. old daughter just disturbs me. It made me nauseous and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much stuff like that goes on in the world. I can only think that these people must be very mentally ill if they think it is ok to harm a child.
8) I can’t wrap my brain around people being married and cheating on their spouses. I understand I am not married so maybe I should make no comment but I am human just like everyone else so I am going to. I don’t understand how people cheat with such ease. I am unsure if I ever want to be married and to be honest some of the reason is because I fear breaking my vows. I believe vows are something very sacred. You are promising to someone that you will love and cherish them the rest of your lives. Your promise to do this through good and bad times, rich and poor, sickness and health. If you feel that you are unable to make these promises then why get married? And if you are married and you are unable to live up to those vows (and I am not judging) then why not get divorced? Why would you deceive someone that you promised and made vows with?
9) I can’t wrap my brain around why unhappy married couples stay together for the sake of the children. I do understand children need stability and it is not ideal for them to have separated parents but what is it teaching them when their parents pretty much despise each other. Children of divorce have a great chance of emotional instability yes but I don’t understand why people would not raise their children in 2 different households that they experience love in as opposed to one household where they lose all concept of what love is because their parents don’t love each other. In my opinion it is just a recipe for disaster and the child may think that the instability of his/her parents is the norm when it should not be.
10) I can’t wrap my head around why people bully other people and are just generally mean day in and day out. I know that a lot of people are just insecure so they treat others badly but I cannot understand how people can outright be extremely rude to people or insult them and not feel guilt immediately after. I don’t understand why they are ok with acting like this. I have encountered people that are like this that are of all different ages. I have an uncle that I rarely ever see. Everytime I do though, he says to my mother, “Well it doesn’t look like you have gotten any fatter?” or something to that nature. He laughs and just thinks it is funny and waits for everyone around him to laugh. He is always looking for an audience and he treats people like this all of the time. He acts like he is above everyone else. I cannot stand being around him or even really acknowledging that he is my uncle.
11) I can’t wrap my brain around why actors/actresses and athletes make millions and millions of dollars every year but teachers make barely enough to scrape by. Teachers and childcare providers help shape and mold thousands and thousands of children. They teach them so many life skills as well as developmental and educational skills. These people are critical for the positive development of our children (and I say our children because it really does take a village to raise a child). I do know that actors/actresses and athletes work hard but I do not understand why they are considered so much more important in life to earn such a great deal of money when that money could be spent on things such as school supplies, unemployment (for those desparately searching for jobs), teacher trainings, school maintenance, after-school programs, etc. It really blows my mind the way that money is spent in this country and how little concern there really is over the educational system. Another reason I am hesitant about having children is because of this reason. I want my child to have an amazing education and I want him/her to have teachers that truly care and provide tools and resources that would help him/her flourish. If money is continually spent in the manner that it is and we don’t start focusing way stronger on the importance of our educational system that will never happen.
Like I said, there is so much in this world I don’t understand. There is so much I can’t wrap my brain around. I walk around in amazement everyday wondering why people do what they do and how things work as they do. I am shocked I do not drool on myself more often from having my mouth gaped open from amazement. I love it though. Although I do not understand these things (and these are only a small few) I learn so much more about myself because of them. I learn more about who I am and who I am not. I think that is a beautiful thing. Not knowing some of these things also gives me the opportunity to see things from another’s perspective. In have read different books throughout times about serial killers and many were a look into their minds. I would never ever condone their actions but because of my search for knowledge I understand better their mentality and how and why they did what they did. Sometimes it is the teachings of our past that make us how we are. If someone were to grow up in a household where racial slurs were thrown around day in and day out, how would they know any different that this was wrong? I just finished a book called Room. It is about this 19 year old girl that is kidnapped while walking through her college campus parking lot. She is kept in this old shed where the man that kidnapped her keeps her locked in. He has fencing below the shed and all the way around. She has no means of escape. He rapes her several times. She has one stillborn birth and a year later she gives birth to a boy. She gives birth to him by herself right in the room. She loved him from the minute he was born. She was no longer alone. When the boy was 5, the mother and him escape. I won’t give away all of these details in case I haven’t totally killed this story for you. The little boy has no concept of the outside world. He never even knew it existed. All he ever knew was the room he was born and raised in. His mother never told him anything about the outside world because she didn’t want him to know there was something so big and wonderful out there that he may never have. It was an amazing journey to read about because this boy did not understand so much when he was thrown into society. Nothing made sense because it was nothing he had ever been exposed to or experienced. Although this is a fictional story, it is so true to life for many of us. We understand life to some degree but there is a much bigger world outside of ourselves that we can’t even imagine because the chances are slim to none that we will ever experience them.
From here I will bid all of you farewell and hope that you have opened your minds. I hope that you have thought about some of the questions I have answered and answered them yourselves, even if just in your minds. Life is too short to just sit by and let it all pass you by. I may not know all of you but I sending you so much love and hope you find happiness in every single day!