So last night I thought a lot about love…suprising huh. I keep wondering if I have ever really felt love? What exactly is love supposed to feel like? Is love missing someone when they are not around? Is love someone that makes you smile and laugh a lot? Is love having someone you can be comfortable with? I have had two relationships in the past where there was the possibility of love but to this day I do not truly know if what I felt was love or not. I complicate things and I know it but I just don’t know what I felt? Out of the two of them there is one that I still think about and I do miss him—does this mean I loved him? When we are truly in love with someone do we just know it? What exactly defines love? I believe in the idea of love and everything that has been introduced to be in my lifetime but I just don’t know if this is something I have honestly ever felt. Again I am faced with many unanswerable questions and even if I were to get some answers do they fit everyone’s mold? I will always believe in love because I see it as one of the most beautiful things in the world–at least the perception I choose to believe in. Everything I believe in I choose to believe in because I want to but never will I know an honest truth. Complete truth to me is an impossibilty. Pessimistic? That is your opinion. The world is full of concepts and questions and although we have been introduced to answers I just cannot say these things are right or wrong just because one or some people have defined them as so. This is why I mold my own world and see and believe things as I want to. I see love as two people that love spending time together. Two people that can talk for hours with no awkward silences and even if there is silence it is not awkward. Love is two people that understand each other and even though they might not always agree with each other they accept each other. Love is being able to tell someone you love them without saying a word. Love is being there through the good and even the bad with no judgment. Love is helping someone through hard times with no questions asked and no snide comments. Love is having a lot of things in common but enjoying learning new things from your partner all of the time. Love is compromise and sacrifice when necessary. Love is admitting when you are wrong and saying I am sorry. Love is friendship. Love is understanding. Love is laughter. Love is believing in someone until the end of time. Love is seeing an unbelievable amount of beauty in another person that you admire so much. This perception of love is my own and whether it is true or not I do not know but I will not compromise this vision. I choose to believe for myself that this is what love is and this is what I want. I have felt some of these things with certain people but I really don’t think I have experienced love as a whole. I almost believe we really only experience true complete love with one person and all of the other times were just pieces and ideas of love. These other times prepared us for the real deal and taught us all of the lessons we needed to know before experiencing what true love really is. This is my perception and the way I choose to see and want things. Will I ask you to agree with me—absolutely not—we are entitled to see things as we wish to. Love is just one of those concepts in life that I desire and I crave more than anything. Love is the one thing whether or not I know the honest truth about that I choose to believe in. Love makes me creative and love makes me smile.
It’s a New Dawn…It’s a New Day…
For 365 days I answered a different question. I spent one year discovering myself more than I had my whole life. Every question remains on this blog and I hope that you do revisit each question starting at #1.I have decided from here on out that I am going to let the creative genius out as it comes. I do not believe in forced art...it must come natural. I am 34 years old and still discovering myself. I have moments of great peace and wellness and times of sadness and confusion that boggle my mind and exhaust my body. It is the latter that I have a hard time accepting and sometimes I need a palette to spill all of my thoughts and feelings out to make me feel better. So here I am. As readers I hope you are able to relate and I hope you enjoy the journey.
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