Day 24 Question 24:
How do you define beautiful?
This is a big question. This is a question where everyone in the world would probably have a different answer. I chose this question today because I have been reading and contemplating different things (yes I know that is a big surprise) and I keep coming back to thinking about women and their obsession with their bodies and their outer appearance. I am one of these women. I get so hooked on worrying about what I look like and ache to have all of my imperfections fixed. One day I can feel totally confident and comfortable with myself and the next I don’t want to even look in the mirror. Those days I feel like it is unfair that I have to look the way that I do. I feel like it is unfair that I don’t have a perfectly fit body or perfect teeth or perfect skin. Yes, those days can feel really rough and will drain me so badly. Luckily those days are coming much fewer and far between because I am not grasping life in a different way. That is me though. I know so many women that still suffer with this self-loathing every second of every single day. It is a mental illness because we have wired our brains to think we are not good enough or that we have to be a certain size or shape with a particular hair color and flawless skin in order to be considered beautiful. This is so wrong. Beauty does not have a thing to do with the outer appearance. Yes, some people have been blessed with flawless skin or very shapely beautiful bodies but those things do not at all define who they are. They are assets that will change and age over time. This is not an insult….this is just the cycle we call life. We all age and we all grow old.
So, then what is beautiful? How can one define this word? I do not understand how the dictionary even has a definition because in my opinion beauty is something different to everyone. There are so many words that have these set definitions in this book that has guided us all of our lives. Such words as: truth, perfection, right, wrong and love. To me they can only be defined individually, not as a whole for everyone to believe is right and there is no bending. Beautiful is a person being completely true to self. Beautiful is having the ability to carry love in your heart at all times even when everything seems to be going wrong. Beautiful is opening up your mind and learning as much in this world as possible. Beautiful is always striving to be better. Beautiful is inspiring others. Beautiful is being scared to death but being courageous all at the same time. Beautiful is admitting your flaw and faults but not allowing them define you. Beautiful is you being the only person to define you, no one else. Beautiful is having strong convictions and beliefs but still being open to other’s points of view. Beautiful is acting with kindness and compassion. Beautiful is putting other’s before yourself. Beautiful is accepting yourself. You may not be thin or the most successful person in school or where you work but you are still one of a kind. Knowing and believing that is beautiful. Beauty is everywhere in this world, around every corner and behind every door. We sometimes just have to take off our judgmental glasses to see it. What does not fit our mold may be perfect for someone else.
Sometimes when I write these blog entries I feel like I complete cheese out. I feel like people are going to think I am this all-knowing perfect angel that does nothing wrong and harps all of this stuff about positive thinking and inspiration. Well, I guess I am one of those people. No, I am far from a perfect angel but I have an immense amount of goodness in my heart. I need to follow my own advice and stop letting my thoughts about what other’s are thinking take me over. I have to say to myself, “You are being positive and trying to motivate others. If other’s find that bad that is there choice. You are doing a great thing. You know it helps you and you can help others even if it is in just a small way.” I do want people to know they are beautiful. I think that is very important in life. I spent several years not ever embracing my beauty because I had the definition all wrong. I got all caught up in the media’s definition of beauty is and my thoughts on what I thought a man wants a woman to look like that I completely lost touch with what beauty truly is. I bring up these subjects in my blog because I know so many women (and I know men do too) criticize themselves inside and out. We hate our nose or our ears stick out or our thighs are too big or our boobs aren’t big enough (I would be speaking of others about the boob thing-I surely don’t have that problem-hahahaha). I write these things to remind myself. We live in this society where there is a really warped idea of what beautiful really is. Who do you surround yourself with? How do they define beauty? Do you agree? If not, it may be time to reevaluate your settings and who you surround yourself with. Take a second and reflect back on your childhood (probably up until about 3rd grade). What you looked like and what you wore did not matter. How much money you had was insignificant. Everyone was your friend (for the most part). All that mattered was having fun and enjoying life. Life should not be any different but unfortunately it is. BUT, you can always make a choice as to how you view things and how you want to react to them. There are a lot of in your face questions that can be asked here: Do you enjoy allowing other’s to define you? Do you believe that being beautiful means being tall and thin? Have you ever met someone with great physical attributes but a really ugly personality? Is this person still beautiful to you? How many times have you actually met someone like that? I have met several people like that. They try to get through life on their looks, and some of them may for awhile but looks fade. I have met men before that have been extremely handsome (at least they appealed to my eye) and as soon as they spoke they immediately lost all beauty and wonder. Their arrogance and ignorance became a major turnoff. They were unable to see anything outside of themselves and in my opinion that is probably one of the most UN-Beautiful qualities a person could have.
If you think about it, everything that surrounds us is beautiful because everything has a story behind it. It is easy to judge nowadays. We have been accustomed to doing it for so long that it has become natural. Just because it has become natural does not mean that it is right. It’s a habit that we should all try to break. I find it highly doubtful that anyone could live a life without judging others or other things but it makes a big difference when one recognizes and acknowledges when they have judges. Every person is their own character in this story called life. We have never walked a day in another person’s shoes to understand them. You may look at a woman that is so physically attractive and immediately judge her. There is a good chance you are judging her out of jealousy. I have done this plenty of times. She may even have a very nice personality and is very kind and caring. We don’t always see those things though. The thing about it, this woman may not see any of her own beauty. She may be completely broken inside for one reason or another. Beauty is one of those things to embrace and to remind others of. You do not always need to compliment someone on a physical attribute. Tell they what you admire about them or what qualities you see in them that are honorable or endearing. Let them know you see these things as the beauty they hold within themselves. Don’t always judge a book by its cover. People will surprise you all of the time. Don’t assume because someone is physically nice to look at that they are automatically going to be stuck up or rude. Yes, some may be but I have met people that have lucked out on having great physical attributes and have amazing personalities. It is called modesty and being humble. If I ever have children those are the two qualities I am going to make sure to teach them over and over again. Being humble is truly beautiful.
I am a nanny for twin girls that are one. They turned one on Christmas so I always call them the Christmas miracle babies. Before I put them down for their nap I was playing on the floor with them, bouncing them on my lap and twirling them around. Beautiful is the innocence a child holds on their face. If only we could have the same curiosity and wonder that small children have. Everything in their world is exciting and new and they love it all. Something so small can hold their attention forever. It is nice to be an adult in some ways but if you think about it, children are the ones that really understand the true concept of beautiful. Everything to them is beautiful. Children have these beautiful ignorant and naïve way. Those two words usually come with a negative connotation but there have been plenty of times I wish I was naïve or ignorant because that way I would not know about how ugly the world can truly be sometimes.
So readers tell me this…have you experienced beauty today? Where and in what? I want to know what you see. :0)
True beauty is in the way she laughs
True beauty is in her eyes
True beauty is how she acts
True beauty is inside
True beauty is unseen
True beauty is only felt
True beauty is not mean
True beauty is herself
True beauty can’t be cruel
True beauty is bare
True beauty within you
True beauty is always there
True Beauty can’t be covered with makeup
True beauty means true love
True beauty can’t be baked up
True beauty is the flight of a dove
True beauty has no flaws
For True beauty is all that matters after all
By: Jean Pullman