Day 109 Question 109

Day 109 Question 109:

What habit are you having a hard time breaking?

I can’t quite put my finger on what I want to write about today.  I am actually quite tired.  I have spent the week accomplishing a lot and exerting a lot of physical energy and my body is just in rest.  I would love for my mind to be in rest mode too but that is just not who I am.

The habit of constantly planning and making to do lists and planning about a million years ahead is something that no matter how hard I try I just cannot seem to break.  I may ease my body for a little bit but I just cannot let my mind go and enjoy the laziness and the simplicity.  The meditations are a HUGE help but my desire for more knowledge and wanting to be a part of a million projects sometimes just catches up with me.  At this current time I am researching Spanish lessons (Rosetta Stone, Pimsleur method) because I would really like to start learning a second language.  I am researching for my unit 5 paper that is due on Sunday May 13th (I will have this done in advance because I am not at all a procrastinator nowadays).  I am planning times to workout this weekend and what workouts I want to do.  I am beyond happy in life and I love my enthusiasm and drive and I honestly feel like I have a great balance.  I am in a healthy place both mentally and physically.  I just need to force myself to sometimes just slow down…everyone needs a break in life.  I just have the worst habit of feeling guilty when I decide to be lazy…because in my head there is always something productive I could be doing.  I could be cleaning.  I could be working ahead on assignments.  I could be researching organizations and sending out resumes/portfolios.  I could be researching topics for upcoming blog entries.  I could be watching documentaries on subjects that interest me.  I could be reading.  I could be grocery shopping.

This life has been flying by and I have such a desire to absorb as much as I possibly can.  I know in order to do this that I need to give my body and mind proper rest and if that requires a lazy day or two then I should do that.   Why is it that I am unable to give myself that permission?  Does anyone else have the same problem?  How do you deal with it?  I pretty much know my answer but I just can’t seem to step out of this comfort zone….I can’t seem to overcome the guilt I feel when I am not being productive.  I have quite smoking (10 yrs ago-cold turkey), I stopped drinking (18 months ago), I have lost 65lbs and continue to go strong, I workout 4-5 times a week and I have changed my lifestyle drastically.  I meditate twice a day which has given me a lot more energy both physically and creatively (it has also alleviated so much of my anxiety and nervousness).  I have changed my entire lifestyle for what I believe is the better and the healthier.  Why am I unable to just slow down?  I am almost starting to think that I am repressing something that I just am unable to pull forward.

This entry answered a question but I decided to write it to ask for advice.  If you ever experience this, how do you handle it?  How do you think I should handle it??  I would love any words of wisdom (as I am always looking for words of wisdom).  Happiness has found me but I don’t want to wear myself out when I should be taking time to just rest.  Thank you for any and all advice :0)

This entry was posted in Blog, Blogging, Fun, Inspiration, Journal, Life, Love, Philosophy, random thoughts, Thoughts, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Day 109 Question 109

  1. June says:

    I always appreciate the honesty in your posts. I have similar experiences when I can’t turn off my “to do” list. But I’ve learned to stop and appreciate the moment, the surroundings right at that moment, and be grateful for what I have right now and just be for that moment. It’s taken me years to learn that living in the now is a true gift. I’m a lot older than you and I wish I had known that at your age. All the best to you. Your posts are an inspiration for those on a journey to self-discovery!

  2. wroteright says:

    I have the hardest time being consistent. I have great ideas and can be consistent long enough to accomplish tasks at a minimal level, but I loose my steam after the going get’s good.

  3. There is only one way not to feel guilty about relaxing – stop feeling guilty! Ha ! If only it were as easy as the words. The trick is when you attach emotion to the thought. Let’s say you decide to take a break, put your feet up and watch ‘Frozen Planet’. So you do and about 5 minutes into it, you realize you have laundry to do.You have to decide where to attach the emotion (e-motion …) to the program you are watching, or the laundry. David Allen has a great method, and you mentioned it too – using To Do lists is great but there are two tricks. One is that in order to ease your mind, do a brain dump, write everything down that is circling in your head. So then you at least have it written down, know what you are not doing, and now you can forget about it, because it’s all written down. So in the above case, you don’t have to remember to do the laundry, or have the thought bug you because it’s written down. Next is not to just prioritize things like Stephen Covey would have you do, and attack the A;s then the B’s, then the C’s, you have to attack what you are capable of right now. Maybe you are too tired to do the laundry, it needs to get done, but you need a rest, and you did have watching ‘Frozen Planet’ on you list but it’s a C … so, OK, it’s a C and now is the perfect time to do it, and you’ll do the laundry before your morning meditation, so when its done in the wash cycle you’ll be ready to dry it.
    So it a matter of flow, and energy. Most of all you need to understand how thought and emotion generate feeling. If you ever studied vectors in math or physics, thought and emotion are the ‘scalars’ (potentials) the vector is feeling (magnitude and direction). The first two are the x and y axis and feeling is the 45 degree line between them … Magnetism and electricity, both powerful forces, but put them together and you get a flow of energy …

  4. terry1954 says:

    smoking!!! trying with no success. i guess i don’t want to quit bad enough, but yet battle it every day

  5. jensine says:

    Been in the fast lane these last few days and definitely need to slow down :-)

  6. rich says:

    i do this thing were i bite and chew on the epithelial cells inside my mouth. sister does it, mother did it, cousin on mother’s side, and others.

  7. Anastasia says:

    eating.

    constantly.

    ruminating is a problem too, but only when someone else inconveniences me or does something stupid. then its rumination city about all the ills of the world and all my flaws and how much i hate my job. the rest of the time.. dooopydooopydooo i just stroll through life like nothings wrong. weird.

    so yeah…eating. :)

    • Anastasia says:

      rest.. just like the advice people always give about exercise. that it must be scheduled into your day just like anything else. put “rest” and/or “meditation” and/or whatever you feel you lack into your day timer and make it one of the things you feel you MUST do. it’s one more thing, but its also one less thing, if you know what i mean.

  8. bigsmileu1 says:

    What if you tried to think of slowing down as one of your jobs? You set time aside to do so many things ie.. meditate, exercise, write. Add relaxing as something you must do. Put the relaxing time in your calendar. Dedicate time just for that and get to work at relaxing. Enjoy! :)

  9. I’ve got some habits I’m trying to break, but what I’m finding hard is the habits I want to START. I know that motivation must be in me somewhere…!
    Thanks for writing!

  10. Kita Kazoo says:

    It sounds like you are a power house of energy! Lucky you!

    Resting is doing something.

    If you don’t learn to rest, the Universe will eventually make you.

    Your soul, body and mind have to unplug for short periods of time. When we don’t rest, we become more and more worn down and less efficient until we come to a halt.

    Be your own best friend.

    No guilt.

  11. I think slowing down comes with age. I always seemed to be chasing my tail until I found myself in my mid 40s. I am in a much better place now enjoying the moment. It will happen naturally for you too.

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